This morning our very own Dr. B. Texan had a bit of a chuckle over the right wing pre-spinning of the inevitable crushing victory of the gee-oh-pee candidate in the Pennsylvania-12 special congressional election. Why, according to perhaps the sharpest ball-bearing in the Republican toolbox, this triumph would clearly mean that “you’re going to see Burns having this representation of a smaller, smarter government, getting the economy back on the right track with some limited overreach of the government.” Which is hard to argue with, as is quite often the case with authentic frontier gibberish.

Of course now that this man, this certain man, this certain man named Mr. Burns, has turned out to be not quite worth 10 of your’ns, in fact turning out to be worth about 8% less than Mr. Critz, explanations are devoutly to be wished for, or wishitzed for. Over at RedSnout they’re consoling themselves with the idea that the deep lesson is that the American People are not at all fond of ObamaStalin, which makes perfect sense, except the idea that Obama is a Radical lefty is pretty stupid.

No, for the Truth about PA-12, you’d have to turn to the Confederate Yankee, Mr. Bob “Uncle Dad” Owens, who explains that the real reason Burns lost is that the people of PA-12 are revolting trough-guzzling subhuman swine. Honestly, by the Holy Cyst of Snuffy Smith, that’s what he says:

Jack Murtha’s seat in Congress was saved for the Democratic Party by the greed of his pork-addicted constituents.

This is, as they say, The Shit. Not that you could expect someone with “Confederate” in his moniker to have especially warm feelings about the state that contains Gettysburg. But still.