Great Britain, the country with three major political parties, all to the left of our Democrats, held its election yesterday. In some respects it was business as usual.

Everyone got excited that this might be the year the Liberal Democrats (who are mildly liberal and very dysfunctional — like our Democrats) did something at the polls. But as usual, it was all a tease and they’ve managed to barely increase their vote and not increase their seats.

Gordon Brown, who combines the charisma of Dukakis and the glower of Nixon into one unpopular package led a Labour Party that had exhausted itself after 16 years of governing to an abysmal performance of just over a quarter of the vote.

And the Tories, led by longtime aspirant David Cameron, who conservative papers laughably tried to turn into a “Hope” poster, gained votes, mostly because Labour lost them, but have come up well-short of what is needed for a majority.

So nobody really wins — a hung Parliament.

This looks like a job for Nino Scalia! As Wayne Rooney is unavailable, Great Britain, meet your new Prime Minister.

There, settled that, now let’s go watch Greece and the world markets fall apart.