I’m a middle-aged white man, I know my people. When not trying — and failing — to burn and/or blow things up with propane tanks (a universal trait really); admiring a fine pair of elastic-waisted khaki Chinos; or being magically drawn to misspelled protest signs, we know what computers and the internet are best at. Nevertheless, by and large, an average middle-aged white man manages to crank out nearly a half-hour of legitimate work on them everyday — give or take 30 minutes.

So I salute you, Florida Republican Senator Mike Bennett for your multi-tasking while the state senate was debating telling women what the hell they can do with themselves besides appearing in Girls Gone Wild videos, ironing your shirts and making sandwiches. That’s what “Freedom” is all about, surf on, patriot, surf on.

Now, about that dog video that started just before you realized you were on camera…