Harlequin pants are TEH HOT!

This is the Best. Opening. Line in a blog post EVAR:

For some reason, there aren’t that many curling video games. But with the growing popularity of the sport, hopefully that will change in the future. (Emphasis mine.)

Yes, I admit it. I spent my lunch hour today with several co-workers transfixed by the USA vs. Denmark match of the curling competition. Now I know what you’re thinking – who is this person and what the hell has she done with the guttersnipe blogger known as “watertiger”? Why isn’t she castigating asshole Republicans for being, well, asshole Republicans? Why isn’t she catapulting invective at Sarah Palin  for being a conniving, greedy, hypocritical beeyotch?

I’ll tell you why. Because even the most venomous, spiteful and mean-spirited of us needs a break every now and then.

And because I learned more about the sport of curling by watching last Sunday’s episode of  “The Simpsons” than I’d ever known before . . . which, I admit, was next to nothing.

And because the latest curling fashion trend (pictured above) makes golf wear look positively . . . tasteful.  Okay, maybe “tasteful” is the wrong word.

And because there is something hypnotic about the leisurely, contemplative pace of the game amid the frenzy and breakneck speed and potential for violence of hockey, downhill racing, and short track. While hard-bodied, fearless and young athletes are hurtling themselves down the sides of mountains or performing outrageous, gravity-defying McTwists in the half-pipe, the curling “sweepers” quietly glide over the ice to the “house” to discuss strategy over the “rocks”, like billiards players eyeing the geometry of the pool table after the initial break.

I likened it earlier to watching a chess match in the middle of a hurricane that’s been amped up on Red Bull all day. Given the non-stop, frenetic, exhausting nature of American politics (and the general backstabbing douchebaggery of American politicians), having the chance to meditate on a “hackweight takeout” is welcome indeed.

And because it will only be moments before I’ll be back to swearing a blue streak about those two-faced crazies in South Carolina.

(photo credit: Getty Images, via Gawker)