The biggest problem with 21st Century Conservatism isn’t so much that so many 21st Century are running around like absolute morons. No, the problem is that they are proud to be running around like absolute morons. Examples, of course, abound. But few spectacles illustrate the point more luridly than the Utah House of Representatives deciding to, essentially, stick an ostrich feather up its collective ass and wiggle it around in what it fondly imagines to be an insulting manner at Science.

Carbon dioxide is “essentially harmless” to human beings and good for plants. So now will you stop worrying about global warming?

Utah’s House of Representatives apparently has at least. Officially the most Republican state in America, its political masters have adopted a resolution condemning “climate alarmists”, and disputing any scientific basis for global warming.

The measure, which passed by 56-17, has no legal force, though it was predictably claimed by climate change sceptics as a great victory….

Meaning, imbeciles like Don Surber (pictured here) are gurgling about how the Utah Representatives are trying to  “protect their economy” from the perfidy of the United Nations (!): “Not that the UN has no stake in the matter; it hopes to turn global warming fears into a global tax to fund the UN.” Surber also believes evil UN-funded leprechauns are conspiring to tighten the backflap of his trap-door long johns so as to give him a Socialist Wedgie.

But it certainly is true that Utah’s fine Representatives are deeply interested in their local economy. For instance:

With respect to Utah, coal holds a firm grip on the state since close to 90 percent of their electricity comes from coal. Understandably, many in Utah are strongly opposed to cap-and-trade. Utah coal mines produced 26 million tons of coal in 2006, making Utah the 12th biggest coal-producing state in the country. Its coal fired plants emit approximately 41 million tons of CO2, 34,000 tons of sulfur dioxide and 68,000 tons of nitrogen dioxide. This results in Utah coal plants producing 66 percent of the state’s total carbon emissions.

Not that this means that everyone with a stake in the Utah economy is delighted with the recent yahoo-ism. Some indeed have excellent reason to be alarmed, as unchecked climate change will, er, convert Utah from an inhabitable desert to an uninhabitable desert. Maybe the Utah House of Representatives is working on a way to make coal edible, however, so the loss of the snowpack and of arable land won’t come as too much of a blow. That’s probably the case.

After all, you couldn’t hardly accuse the Utah House of Representatives of grotesque irresponsibility, just because “There are very few (if any) scientifically legitimate statements located in the text of the resolution,” which there aren’t. After all, the House was so kind as to take out the kookier language from the resolution, such as that climate change is a “conspiracy” concocted by scientists who wish to remain on the governmental “gravy train.” No, the Utah reps have behaved admirably, except when they’ve behaved like comical pigs. For instance:

Rep. Noel: “Are you stating on record that CO2 is a pollutant? Are you saying that CO2, carbon dioxide, is a pollutant, are you saying that?”

Professor Andrade: “I’m saying that carbon dioxide has a unique molecular structure which absorbs infrared radiation, and that that is in part responsible for the effects that you’re concerned with, Representative Gibson is concerned with, and Representative ….”

Noel: “I want to get this on the record, ok? Are you saying that we have to rid the planet of carbon dioxide?”

Andrade: “Of course not!”

Noel: “It’s not a pollutant then, it’s not going to kill you. It’s not going to kill plants. Is that correct? I also have a degree too, professor. So I want to get this straight. Is it a pollutant?”

(The conversation becomes a verbal skirmish, and the committee chairman breaks it up.)

A rebuttal of the absurd “scientific claims” in the resolution may be found here. But really, this is about as embarrassing a performance by a state government in a while — and it’s a pretty accurate foreshadowing of what will happen if the GOP regains control of the federal legislature. Which is why I’m so irritated at the Democrats for helping them do this by acting like such goddamn cowards. My kids, you know, just can’t afford whining in the face of lunacy.