rose_colored_glassesFirst Dana “Pig Missile’ Perino, then Rudy Giuliani, claimed that Bush’s tenure as the “Terrrr Preznit” didn’t really get rolling until September 12, 2001. Now ol’ Man Hands Hughes joins the growing conga line of Bush sycophants who are desperate to rewrite the past in the vain hope that the Aughts will not be fondly remembered as “the goddamned worst fucking decade in this nation’s history”. So let the revisionist times roll:

George W. Bush rescued the economy from collapse, according to Karen Hughes. Bush’s former campaign director attacked President Barack Obama on NBC Sunday, defending the record of her former boss on the economy.

“I have to disagree with you, Mark [Halperin], about [Obama] rescuing the economy,” she said. “I think that happened before President Bush left office when they took the action that they did on TARP and the banks have now repaid much of that money but that’s what stabilized the economy and prevented the collapse of the financial system.”

O RLY? Funny, economists don’t share Karen Huge’s generous reinterpretation of what went down back in September 2008. Thanks to the Bush administration’s bag man, Hank Paulson, rushing through a plan — any plan — that would keep his banker friends out of trouble, the bailout was rigged against the public from the start.

Said Dr. Krugman, a scant two months ago:

Earlier this week, the inspector general for the Troubled Asset Relief Program, a k a, the bank bailout fund, released his report on the 2008 rescue of the American International Group, the insurer. The gist of the report is that government officials made no serious attempt to extract concessions from bankers, even though these bankers received huge benefits from the rescue. And more than money was lost. By making what was in effect a multibillion-dollar gift to Wall Street, policy makers undermined their own credibility — and put the broader economy at risk.

So not only is Bigfoot off the mark when she says that the economy is stable, she also doesn’t get to say that TARP has been a unqualified success because of Bush’s efforts. Because she’s WRONG. TARP may have helped Wall Street, but it was never designed to help Main Street. As a result, the economy is wheezing and coughing up blood, at best.

For those of us with slightly longer memories (formerly dismissed as “Cassandras”), President Bush’s two terms were nothing short of EPIC FAIL. The Center for Public Integrity has documented a comprehensive list of all of President Bush’s disasters since taking office. It’s pretty awesome, in the “inspiring fear” kind of way. Let’s take a another look at some of those “Bush Was the Greatest Preznit EVAR!” tropes:

The Iraq and Afghanistan Wars.  Now entering their eighth year, with no end in sight. Thanks in no small part to Dick “It’s Our Due” Cheney and his good buddy, Donald “Go Massive” Rumsfeld, our little folly in Mesopotamia has gutted the U.S. Treasury, enriched BushCo. & Friends, and will continue to send our soldiers home in body bags. And for what? So that the Taliban can reconstitute itself and blow shit up in the middle of Kabul? Bravo, I say. Bravo.

The Housing Crisis: Hmm. Does this quote ring a bell? “Part of a secure America is to encourage home ownership.” Mangled syntax aside, yes, Ms. Hughes, your boss actually said that back in 2002. Then he signed off on legislation that loosened lending regulations and “encouraged” impoverished migrant workers to take out no-money-down mortgages on homes they couldn’t afford, all in the name of his pet War on Terrrr, thus setting in motion the wheels of the financial cataclysm that would become the housing bubble.

Unemployment: Dean Baker notes that in order to regain the 8 MILLION jobs lost over the past two years (coinciding with that lovely little bursting housing bubble), manufacturing and construction would have to regain 2.7 million jobs over the next two years in order to track previous economic downturns. In a word? Nah gah happen.

I’m not even going to get started on the current state of New Orleans. It’s been four and a half years since Hurricane Katrina decimated the city while Bush strummed his gee-tar out in San Diego, and there are still pleas for help in the rehabilitation of the Lower Ninth Ward.

So to all the Bush apologists out there clicking their heels together and whispering, “there’s no place like home,” I’d recommend a deep draught from a hot, steaming cup of shut the fuck up. While you can luxuriate in the comfort of the wingnut welfare safety net, the rest of the country doesn’t share your rosy-hued nostalgia.