Horseshoes, handgrenades — and Bloomberg campaigns? Does “close” count there, too?

There’s no more lucrative campaign business to be in than Michael Bloomberg’s. The wee Mayor bestowed his every-four-year bonuses on campaign staffers after barely winning re-election in a squeaker that was expected to be a blowout:

New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg, who spent $108 million to win a third term, distributed more than $2 million in bonuses to campaign staffers, according to papers filed on Friday with the Campaign Finance Board.

Three top staffers each received $400,000 bonuses, one got $150,000, and 91 others got a sum roughly equivalent to 20 percent of their salaries. The total amount distributed came to $2.4 million, campaign officials said.

I’m sure there’s a disinterested party ready to defend those bonuses, right?

“This was an extremely difficult election cycle for incumbents. Mr. Bloomberg bucked that trend,” said campaign spokesman Howard Wolfson, who received $400,000.

Well, I’m glad that’s cleared up then. I do wonder, though, if Wolfson would have done better financially had his candidate done better than five fucking percent over a candidate practically ignored by the press and the national Democratic party in the face of the hundred-million-dollar candidate. I guess we — and he — will never know.

Hey, Democrats: when Wolfson comes knocking next time, let’s run the other way, okay?