– Eli is actually prosecuted for all the things TheKenoshaKid blames him for.

(Hi Eli!)

Hahaha. Happy New Year, Teddy!

*FoxNews restored to its rightful place as the only television channel available at all government facilities*

Happy New Year Eli.

7 above and -9 windchill here so they’re off to a good start on the cold prediction.

I heard this weird “sproing” sound outside and I wondered what it was until I read this, and then I realized it was the popping of wingnut woodies…

Happy New Year, ratfood!

See, Global Warming is all a lie so Al Gore can sell overpriced wind farms.

Happy Twenty-Ten, Eli!

– Meghan McCain appointed Secretary of Beer’n'Twitter, a new position created by legislation written by her ‘best friend’ Lindsay Graham.

– Barack Obama delivers his State of the Union in 140-character koans, as required by the Beer’n'Twitter law.

A grateful and thriving Iraq elects George W. Bush president and agrees to contribute 50,000 troops to occupation of Afghanistan, saying, “Hey, it’s the least we can do.

My fondest hope. /s

Jesus returns, marries Sarah Palin and declares war on poor people.

Jesus returns and she is mad.

Very nice, Eli. The only one that worries me is Hillary being replaced by Petraeus – that is too close for comfort.

– Other millionaires mimic Rush Limbaugh by having popper’n'Via&ra related heart issues, then check out of hospitals declaring “health care system seems great to me!”

Okay by me but this is supposed to be a conservative wish list. :-)

OMG, Jesus is Todd?

– Joe Biden refuses to resign, has last name legally change to The Plumber by law (see Section 874, Beer’n'Twitter)

– Levi Johnston gives it up to Kathy Griffin, who announces, “It ain’t all that, Playgirl!”

Entire Constitution is rescinded except for Beer’n'Twitter Amendment.

Turns out First Dood was just a placeholder. The entire brood was the result of immaculate preconceptions.

and 2nd Amendment

You forgot the part where Sarah Palin washes Jesus’s feet first, right after O shines Palin’s shoes.

This one would be particularly vile…

Secretary Of State Hillary Clinton forced to resign; replaced by General Petraeus.

Aloha and HNY, Eli…! ;-)

– National voter re-registration required at exit of GWBush ‘liberry.’ All votes cast without re-registration are fraudulent.

– Condi Rice enters Senate race against Barbara Boxer; wins.

Yeah, but he can only say he received good care from a “foreign” land.

Oh, ick. That is really, really vile.

Happy New Year, CTut!

Hey Eli!

I know. I couldn’t help myself. Sometimes I don’t even make sense to me.

Hey egreg! Happy New Year!

Carly Fiorina enters the California governors race against Jerry Brown; wins.

It is unfortunate on more than one level. The obvious racist connotation but also that it gives O’s supporters an opportunity to lump legitimate critics in with the haters.

Got that right. Night all.

With my luck it would probably turn out to be Michelle Bachmann. We’d be in a heap o’ trouble.

I think Rush was on a secret mission to investigate Obama’s birth; he was in the hospital Barack was born in, after all.

G’nite and happy New Year, eCAHN.

Hi Marion, happy new year.

I seriously would not put it past him.

Nite, eCAHN

Long time no see Marion, how you be?

You’re making me nostalgic for the end of the Mary Tyler Moore show, when only Ted Baxter survived…. past was prologue.

Secretary of Defense Joe Lieberman allows RedState to draw up list of “Which Country to War On This Week”

Here’s one of my hometown conservatives 2010 wish lists:

It is hoped that Obama and his left wing followers fail completely in their attempt to destroy capitalism, the American Dream and all of the good things that make America great.

It is hoped that some of the democrats realize that they don’t want to continue to be part of this conspiracy to ruin the nation and fall out of lock step with the democratic leadership.

And that that people will realize that there is no need to panic or do much of anything about global warming. The people should demand that some of the ridiculous things done in the name of global warming such as adding ethanol to the fuel and funding lavish alternate energy research be stopped.

Drilling for gas and oil should be taken up in earnest.

The measures taken up to “fight the depression” should be abandoned in favor of sound money, low taxes, few regulations, unhampered foreign trade, and a sound legal system.

The present effort to alter health care through more government control needs to be stopped and replaced with a return to market mechanisms.

The list at the federal level goes on and on but the general idea is that most of the laws and regulations adopted in the last hundred years should be rescinded or at least greatly mitigated. Let’s face it the idea that politicians can improve on the constitution is absurd.

At the state level, taxes and spending should be reduced and many of the state laws and regulations be abolished.

On a city level, here’s hoping that they get their budget under control without having to declare bankruptcy.

Heh, John Yoo runs for Pelosi’s seat and wins….! ;-)

I kinda hinted at that myself. Or rather, my Special Guest Poster Glenn Beck did.

Hey…at first I thought this was a joke then I realized you hacked into Michael Steele’s computer.

I typed a reply, but he runs the website. he probably won’t print it. First I ask: What are the things Obama wants to destroy that make America great? What can Obama do that Dubya hasn’t done already?

Shorter version, the solution to all the nation’s woes is a continuation of the policies that created them.

The problem was that they just didn’t go far *enough*. Just goes to show that half-measures are often worse than doing nothing at all.

Seemed apparent from the outset his problems could not possibly be heart related.

Seems to me Glenn and Billo and the other RW ranters would seize this moment to topple the “king” and move onto his golden throne themselves.

After all, did Rush tell America he was going to Cokie’s favorite furrin place for the holidays?

Why was he afraid to let people know he was heading into the sunset to the islands pallin’ around with Obama and Pelosi? Why did the hotel go to such lengths to keep TMZ from getting video? Coverup?

Hmmmmmmmm?

That’s right, you don’t drive a car halfway off a cliff and hope it will topple over… Gotta put the pedal to the metal!

Seems to me Glenn and Billo and the other RW ranters would seize this moment to topple the “king” and move onto his golden throne themselves.

The truth of the matter is that gold toilets aren’t all they’re cracked up to be.

But it only *looks* like a cliff; it’s really more like a halfpipe to infinity!

Oh, my, I almost forgot!

– Taxcuts! Also.

Happy new year to you!

That graphic cracks me up.

its not a cliff — its the ultimate trickle down

Well, no, not if they’re cracked.

I was very tempted to use this one, as kind of an Instapundit tribute.

Cold to boot.

I’m thinking Chicago didn’t get the Olympics is because it is almost impossible to travel here.

Cold Gold?

Sounds like something Rush would’d tamped inside one of those big see-gars and….

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Gotta be a better method than self immolation to get bumped up to business class.

Happy New Year all…it will be cold tonite…fire is roaring

HA! Carlifornia.

Conservative Wishful Thinking….

That d r i f t g l a s s‘ latest on Jokeline would go unnoticed.

Not a chance!

Interesting that we haven’t heard an update on Rush, huh?

Happy New Year sadly!

Bob says to tell Bazzie, “Hi.”

Methinks there’s a rest of the story coming.

There always is.

he is resting comfortably after his heart lung anal cyst transplant……….g

Brilliant. Which state is this?

I heard he was released from the hospital, and they couldn’t find any heart problem (seriously).

Well, no surprise there. That would require a heart.

HELLO………..Bazzie now looks like one eyed ASTA……..teh cute,and sends lotsa love and almonds

Maybe he had erection lasting more than four hours.

The walking pilonidal cyst was on the evening news saying his angiogram was negative, but maybe he had an arterial spasm. Sounds fancier than confessing “I had gas”.

I doubt if anyone noticed…

shame that…mebbe he will get ALS…..one can only hope

***MODNOTE: let’s not go down the slippery slope of fantasy violence please***

Another time, another post.

he had an angiogram and was released?…musta given him more pain meds….big money talks in AMERICAN MEDICINE

…or anxiety…

that could do it.

Maybe that $40 million contract isn’t as solid as we thought it was?

O/T – but does anyone know whether Viagra and Cialis etc wil be covered under the new corporate welfare health care bills?

LOL

I wonder how many wingers will read this post and go YEAH!! One of your finest, with some very good inside baseball.

The voice of Reagan booming from the skies endorses conservative candidates, leads to 435-seat Republican sweep of House elections.

I was kinda hoping Zombie Reagan could play a part.

Keeeeeeeerist on a cracker the guy has amassed a billion dollar fortune from lies and hate speech,you think40 mill is important to him

Thanks, I was trying to think up as many “Yes! We are totally vindicated!” scenarios as I possibly could.

Zombie Reagan eats Obama’s brain, “miraculously” spares Sarah Palin.

Kinda eerie how you think so much like them. Say….

I try to keep the wingnut emulation software in my head as up-to-date as possible. I have a coworker who is very… helpful.

Hiya Eli!

So far it’s pretty cold at my house this year, so that must mean there’s no global climate change.

That’s part of Zombie Reagan’s allure, he poses no threat to conservatives.

Hiya Snarky!

Proof! Every snowflake is like a knife-wound to Algore’s black heart!

Hey Kass. 5 above here, -10 windchill.

Lots.

I wonder if Grover will see it and cackle with glee?

you betcha. Also.

mebbe a big fat ego is involved

one and the same.

Daytona Beach Florida.

Suzanne (wait, who?) is upstairs!
Late Night: Say My Name

Abortion will be ruled illeagal and mothers and babies jailed.

All gays and even just people of the same sex who live together will be jailed or killed.

Devorce will be against the law.

Even preteens will be encouraged to have babies.

Non church goers will be considered less than good citizens and forced to leave the Country.

All taxes repealed, and our Government made to live on borrowed money.

Rich people will be declared the true Americans and allowed to do what ever they like to the rest of us.

The democratic party will be banned from the country leaving only Republicans in power.

A huge fight among Republicans if G W BUSH or Ronald Reagans gold statue should repalce the Statue of Liberty. GW BUSH wins. Soon a Golden Statue of Bush will great people coming to this Country in N Y Harbor.

All Corporation CEO’s given seats in Congress.

People will be banned from voting for anyone other than a Republican.

Two of the old Presidents on Mount Rushmore recarved to Boner and McConnell.

Oh the list could go no.