Mherhy Cthulmhas! Santa, We Hardly Knew Ye…

Picture 56krampus2

That gift-bearing bearded old man who makes his appearance on Christmas Eve used travel through the northern Alpine regions with his friend Krampus, whose name comes from the High German krampen for claws. While St. Nicholas, a.k.a. Santa Claus, passed out presents to good children, Krampus would either beat the bad ones with chains and sticks or drag them off to hell. The phallocentric, obviously pre-Christian fertility god also chased immoral young women, terrifying them with this long curling tongue while swatting them with a bundle of birch switches while St. Nick looked on approvingly.

Krampus still looking_st. Nicholas looks onPicture 35

Santa had a bad habit in the mid-20th century, one that might get him slapped with his sidekick’s stick nowadays and has thus been replaced by binge-eating platefuls of transfat loaded cookies, gulped down with glass after glass of BGh-altered milk from factory farms:

Picture 32

But really, nothing says Christmas like sitting on Cthulhu’s tentacle…

18175_249365525644_622840644_4804239_6719071_n

Mherhy Cthulmhas! Santa, We Hardly Knew Ye…

Picture 56krampus2

That gift-bearing bearded old man who makes his appearance on Christmas Eve used travel through the northern Alpine regions with his friend Krampus, whose name comes from the High German krampen for claws. While St. Nicholas, a.k.a. Santa Claus, passed out presents to good children, Krampus would either beat the bad ones with chains and sticks or drag them off to hell. The phallocentric, obviously pre-Christian fertility god also chased immoral young women, terrifying them with this long curling tongue while swatting them with a bundle of birch switches while St. Nick looked on approvingly.

Krampus still looking_st. Nicholas looks onPicture 35

Santa had a bad habit in the mid-20th century, one that might get him slapped with his sidekick’s stick nowadays and has thus been replaced by binge-eating platefuls of transfat loaded cookies, gulped down with glass after glass of BGh-altered milk from factory farms.

Picture 32

But really, nothing says Christmas like sitting on Cthulhu’s tentacle…

18175_249365525644_622840644_4804239_6719071_n