If your neighborhood was like mine last night, you were overwhelmed by drunken Santas making loud and obnoxious whoopee everywhere. Watertiger complained about the Santa infestation in New York City, and when my fiance arrived home from work he told me about partying Santas who sprayed fake snow all over merchants’ windows in the Castro. There was also some Speedo Santa insanity in Boston.

Apparently, this is a thing. Bunch of people dress up in beards and red suits with pillows, black belts and boots, while others wear just hats and get drunk and are called “lame” by the hardcore Santas. Those who want to show off their jiggling Santa junk wear Speedos. It’s probably a good idea to herd any still-believers in Saint Nick home safely, before any of the chaos starts. Chaos to include public urination, and Mrs Santa daintily vomiting at the curb.

Unless you are in Paris, of course, where as you can see in the video there’s a bunch of lame hat-wearers same-sex smooching — that would probably startle the children as well as frighten the horses. This seems to me a vast improvement over the American version of multiple Santas. I’m awaiting a breathless Family Defense of Marriage from Homos press release about this takedown of Jesus’s birthday, but it’s funny that the Parisians decided to smooch in the shopping district, where the true spirit of ChristMass has been pretty well ruined already.

Speaking of multiple Santas, though, the Salvation Army Santas take credit cards now! What is the world coming to, Santa-wise? Perhaps one of these French freedom-hating sexual anarchists explains, if anyone still understands their dead language here in America.

{h/t Towleroad}