Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale . . . from the RNC’s very own word saladsmith, Michael Steele. It’s been a while since I’ve actually listened to the Mayor of Simpleton, and I’d forgotten how bad he is at actually trying to spin the party’s message. I mean, embarrassingly bad. High school-padding-your-essay-with-extra-verbiage-to-make-it-to-1000-words bad. Dana Milbank-forced-to-write-a-750-word-column bad. Awful, really.

This morning on CNN, the RNC’s head liebaby tried to explain, inter alia, how the whole RNC/Cigna/elective abortion coverage fiasco NEVER REALLY HAPPENED.

That’s right. According to Michael Steele, the country had a collective brain fart and totally misinterpreted the RNC’s hypocritical position on insurance coverage for abortions. In fact, the RNC’s position is not even hypocritical, it’s “completely consistent.” (With what, I’m not entirely sure, but that’s not important right now.) And another thing – even if the RNC’s insurance plan had covered abortions, WHICH IT DIDN’T . . . um . . . quick, look over there! It’s Sarah Palin’s tour bus!

If you want to see how much Steele really dislikes discussing this little Republican bugbear, note the Rodney Dangerfield-esque finger in the collar when the CNN anchorperson first poses the question. Don’t ever play poker for money, Mr. Steele. You’ll get taken every single time.

This is really the modus operandi of the Republican party (and more than a few Democrats) when it comes to the health care debate: All the things that I argue against in public for me in private until the opposition notices, but never for thee.