martiniAs I type this, the schedules for tomorrow’s TV talk shows are being firmed up and finalized. You know that they’re going to be just jam-packed with neocons and Bush dead-enders lining up to tell Obama he’s a punk and a pussywillow for even considering pulling out of Afghanistan.

With that in mind, let’s make the best of a bad viewing situation with The Neocon Drinking Game!

Now, since we don’t want to be accused of leading people into bad habits, the drinking in question should be confined to non-alcoholic beverages. Besides, it’s not even going to be noon yet in most of the US.

All that being said, the rules are as follows:

– Anytime anyone says the word “dither”, take a drink.

– Anytime Joe Lieberman says the word “dither”, take two drinks.

– Take one drink for each show on which Joe Lieberman appears.

– Take two drinks for each show on which Dick Cheney appears.

– Take two drinks and then do a pirouette for each show on which John McCain appears.

– Anytime Joe Lieberman says something intended to whip up anti-Muslim hatred as preparation
for bombing Iraq/Iran/Afghanistan/Cleveland, take a drink.

– Anytime Peter Beinart says something intended to whip up anti-Muslim hatred as preparation for bombing Iraq/Iran/Afghanistan/Cleveland, take a drink.

– Anytime anyone questions Obama’s manhood for not immediately rushing to shovel forty thousand more troops into a hopeless meat grinder, chug as much as you can in thirty seconds and be glad it’s not booze you’re drinking.

– Anytime anyone says something sensible, get up and hit the john. You’ll need to anyway.