Throughout the history of our Great Nation, great heroes have struggled and suffered greatly against great injustice. Frederick Douglass. Harriet Tubman. Martin Luther King!

But let us be honest. Let us be frank. Let us, frankly, be honest. Can it be truly and sincerely honestly frankly stated that any one lone single individual in the annals of Human Oppression has ever suffered and struggled so cruelly, so harshly… as Rush Limbaugh?

Face the facts! Was Medgar Evers ever coldly informed that he was not allowed to own an NFL football team? I think not. I have researched the question extensively and state with every confidence that the answer is NO.

Who else, therefore, more richly deserves to be crowned the Most Oppressed Person Ever in this majestic unfolding American Saga of ours, the King of Whinge, the most colossal MOPE of all time — but Rush Limbaugh?

And whoever could make this case more eloquently than Our Lady of the Lachrymose, Kathryn (Sob) Jean (Sob!) Lopez (SOB!)?

Rush Limbaugh is not an acceptable sports investor because of his politics. How else to interpret the state of a sports world where Keith Olbermann can be on Sunday Night Football and Rush Limbaugh’s hard-earned money can’t be spent as a partial owner of a team in a sport he loves?

RUSH. LIMBAUGH. CAN’T. SPEND. MONEY. ON. THE. SPORT. HE. LOVES. SOB. SOB!

This is so very sad, so very excruciatingly heartrending, that one cannot help but recall what Oscar Wilde had to say about Little Nell under very similar circumstances. As for why Keith Olbermann is allowed to do sports commentary, it’s probably because of Liberal Bias duh nothing else explains it duh.

For, in the end, as Big Hollywood instructs us, “Quite simply, what is happening to Rush is beyond outrageous and frankly dangerous to the property and free speech rights of all Americans.”

Precisely. The most serious free speech issue in America right now is one rich white asshole being told by other rich white assholes that he can’t join their club. On that point we must all agree.

Or else, to get real for a second: the actual issue here is that Rush Limbaugh is a whiny hysterical git, and that’s bad for business. Look at this from the ESPN story linked above:

“This is not about the NFL, it’s not about the St. Louis Rams, it’s not about me,” Limbaugh said. “This is about the ongoing effort by the left in this country, wherever you find them, in the media, the Democrat Party, or wherever, to destroy conservatism, to prevent the mainstreaming of anyone who is prominent as a conservative.

“Therefore, this is about the future of the United States of America and what kind of country we’re going to have.”

And then look at this:

Limbaugh was to be a limited partner in a group headed by St. Louis Blues chairman Dave Checketts. Checketts said in a statement Wednesday that Limbaugh’s participation had become a complication in the group’s efforts and the bid will move forward without him.

Can’t imagine why anyone would ever consider him a “complication.”

Not sure which is funnier, though, the right-wing idiots now threatening to boycott the NFL, or the right-wing idiots saying Limbaugh has grounds for a civil rights lawsuit. The man is toxic, and that’s his own damn screechy needy tantrum-throwing wannabe-sports-involved fault.

He’d be bad for the product, and that’s the bottom line. This is Real America, you know? And if Rush Limbaugh can’t even buy his way into it, well, that’s about right.

(Note: I find the video amusing. YMMMV. Good song though)