Just when you think the right wing’s ability to freak out over imaginary outrages can’t possibly get any more ridiculous(death panels, Obama’s fake birth certificate, census data being used to take our guns away and put us all in FEMA interment camps), they go and top themselves again:

An outraged Andrea Peyser writes in the NY Post today:

And while you were snoozing, the creators of American Girl, which is sold by Mattel, got bold. They engaged in all-out political indoctrination.

Snuck into the collection is a doll that comes with a biography that is weird and potentially offensive enough to keep Mom running to the Maalox. Gwen, you see, is harboring a terrible secret.

She is homeless. A homeless doll.

(…)

What message is being sent with Gwen?

For starters, men are bad. Fathers abandon women without cause. She’s also telling me that women are helpless. And that children in this great country, where dolls sell for nearly 100 bucks a pop, are allowed to sleep in motor vehicles. But mothers don’t lose custody over this injustice. Because, you see, they are victims, too.

ZOMG!  Our poor innocent children could be exposed to the fact that there are homeless people!  Where will this liberal perfidy end?  Good Lord, what if American Girl releases a… GAY doll?  (As Peyser helpfully points out, they already have "an African-American doll, an American Indian doll. A Jewish one.")

It’s funny how the conservatives’ idea of "protecting" children always seems to involve sheltering them from reality, rather than from any actual harm.  They don’t want children to know anything about homeless people, or gay people, or sex, or science, or anything a Democratic president might have to say, even if it’s just "study hard and stay in school."

And yet, when Democrats want to expand a program like S-CHIP that really does help sick and injured children, conservatives are implacably opposed to it.  Why is that?  Do they really want to protect children from harm, or just from ideas?