Tom Coburn’s Chief-of-Staff Pat Swartz at the Value Voters Summit just before the attendees go back to their hotels and buy adult pay-per-view:

SCHWARTZ: And one of the things that he said to me, that I think is an astonishingly insightful remark. He said, “all pornography is homosexual pornography because all pornography turns your sexual drive inwards. Now think about that. And if you, if you tell an 11-year-old boy about that, do you think he’s going to want to go out and get a copy of Playboy? I’m pretty sure he’ll lose interest.

Oh yes, the secret is out to our nation’s 11-year old boys, Playboy will make you the gay.

Yeah, and that’s just what’ll happen.

It’s hilarious that these attendees are slavishly loyal to FoxNews, whose owner Ruper Murdoch is the inventor of the Page3 girl and owns DirectTV, probably the nation’s No. 1 provider of porn.

You think Rupert is going to stop peddling porn, when it’s the greatest cash-cow in his shaky empire? You think Right-wingers are going to push him? Hell no, they love pushing that stuff as much as the next person — the freakier the better. They don’t call it "the money shot" for nothing.

In fact, southern conservatives are also the biggest buyers of porn in America.

I’d tell Lee Greenwood to suck on that, but his most frequent patrons are already more than willing to do that for $14.95 on their accounts.

Related posts:

  1. The Power of the Porn-Stache
  2. New Report: Conservative Republicans Are Delusional Paranoids
  3. Why The House Bill Is Much More Conservative Than The Senate
  4. Late Night: Conservative Bloggers Cower Before Marxo-Fascist Dictator, Are Probably Sissies
  5. Late Night: Conservative Girls, Send Me a Dozen