It should be clear that there are contradictory situations, none of which is satisfactory.

I alternately laugh and cry at the reputation of our state. Sullivan’s Island is paradise, and South Carolina is mostly composed of good-natured, reasonable people who get along with their lives as we all do.

Sanford is a punch line now. What people can’t wrap their heads around is putting Andre Bauer in Sanford’s place. And we already have the third in succession saying he will refuse to take the job as it will fuck up his position of considerable power in the state legislature.

Oh and that “third in line” successor, Glenn McConnell makes House member Joe Wilson look like a panty-waist abolitionist.

Talking to a divorce lawyer — NOT!!!!!

http://www.thestate.com/politics/story/946894.html

The first guy says, “My name is Juan Corleone Zorro Chapur, and I am a traveling salesman. I am usually away from home four nights a week. For the last couple of years, or so, I’ve had the feeling that my wife might be cheating on me. I tried to ignore the feeling for a long time, but finally I decided the only way I would be able to satisfy my suspicion would be to come home one night early, unannounced. So I did – and there was my Maria – in bed, in her sexiest negligee, and I thought to myself, “He’s here!”

“So, I dropped my bags and went straight for the closet. He wasn’t there, so I looked under the bed, and he wasn’t there, either. I ran into the bathroom – nothing! Finally, I stepped out on the balcony of my third floor apartment, wondering how I would ever apologize for making such a fool of myself! Just then, I looked down, and St. Peter you are not going to believe it, a man’s fingers were curled over the ledge of my balcony! I leaned out – and there he was – practically naked!

“Enraged, I stomped on his fingers until he let go and fell to the ground. But again, you won’t believe it – he was still alive! I couldn’t believe it either, so I raced into the house and with superhuman strength, I picked up the refrigerator, carried it out to the balcony, and threw it down on top of the bastard!

“But, the strain was too much on me, and I had a heart attack! So, here I am!”

St. Pete says, “That’s pretty good! Go on in! Now, you, second guy, what’s your deal?”

The second guy says, “I’m Pablo Lopez, and I work a miserable day job. My New Year’s resolution for this year was that I would work out four times a week – come hell or high water! So, even though I was really tired when I got home to my fourth floor apartment, and I knew better, I still wanted to keep my promise to myself. So, I stripped down to my underwear and started lifting the weights on my balcony. But, I pushed myself too hard and lost my balance, falling over the railing.

“Amazingly, I caught a hold on the ledge of the balcony below. Just when I thought I was saved, a raving lunatic appears on the balcony and starts screaming at me and stomping on my fingers! Before I ever got a word out, I was on my way to the ground, which I hit with a heavy thud! I couldn’t believe I was still alive, but when I looked up – the same guy, still yelling at me – threw a refrigerator on top of me. So, here I am!

Without even saying anything, St. Pete just waves the second guy through, and says, “You, third guy, what’s your story?”

The third guy says, “My name is Mark Sanford, and I was in a refrigerator…”

22 YEAR OLD carrie prejean was the keynote speaker at the
value voters summit
prejean said, “I am disgusted at the lack of tolerance by people.”

i was knocked outta my chair by the iron wrecking ball of satire
gasping for breath from laughing…

good times