Fantasy Phone Calls: Roger and Rahm

Pillow TalkSplit screen shot of two offices. On the right screen, ROGER AILES dials a phone. On the left screen, the phone on the desk of RAHM EMANUEL rings . . .

AILES: Rahm? Roger Ailes here. Look, what’s the deal? The president is going on all the Sunday shows but ours? C’mon, Rahm — what’s up with that?

RAHM: I’ll give you a two word answer: Glenn Beck.

AILES: Glenn Beck?

RAHM: You want three words? OK: Glenn $&%^# Beck. The guy trashes my boss, and you say nothing about it. He says my boss hates white people, and you say nothing about it. Nothing! (slams the desk) Not one (slam) ^$&*%^# (slam) word! (slam)

AILES: (pauses, then speaks) So what do you want? You and your pals have already taken a huge chunk of his ad revenue.

RAHM (smiling): All Glenn Beck has to do is apologize for saying the president hates white people. Publicly apologize, that is — on the radio and on his television show. "I was absolutely wrong, and should never have said it." He can say he got carried away with himself, he can say he was high or drunk, he can say someone was holding a gun to his head and forced him to say it. I don’t care how he rationalizes his #$%^%&* screwup — but he’s got to say "I was wrong when I said that, and I apologize — to the president, to his supporters, and to anyone who was listening. I. Was. Wrong."

AILES: You gotta be kidding.

RAHM: In your dreams. It’s up to you, Roger. It’s Thursday afternoon. You talk to him tonight, he goes on the radio tomorrow morning, television tomorrow evening, and we’ll be here on Sunday.


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