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Oh, bless my Spanish-moss covered stars, those South Carolinians are a randy lot! Just when you thought it was safe to wade back into the salt marsh after Mark Sanford’s five-day hike along the Appalachian Argentine Trail Tail and the not-so-surprising outing of Lieutenant Governor Andre Bauer, along comes Chairwoman of the state’s Board of Education, Kristin Maguire:

Kristin Maguire, an Upstate evangelical and one of South Carolina’s most respected social conservatives, has been one of the governor’s closest education policy advisors for years. She’s also Sanford’s appointment to the S.C. Board of Education, which last year elected her its Chairwoman.

What else is she?

The prolific author of hardcore erotic fiction on the Internet, according to documents provided to the governor’s office earlier this summer and later obtained by FITS.

Maguire, a professed Christian who home-schools her four children, declined to comment for our story but did not deny that she had previously frequented websites that feature such X-rated material. Maguire believes that a former friend is leaking the information to the media in an effort to ruin her political career.

What a shock. Another holier-than-thou fundie maroon who imposes her "morality" on everyone else is exposed as a fraud. And what the hell is a home schooler doing running the state’s Board of Education? But wait, there’s more:

That part of Maguire’s life is now facing intense scrutiny – especially in light of the way Sanford’s office appears to have helped put a lid on the information being leaked about Maguire.

For example, several sources have related to FITS an incident involving Maguire and [Sanford's chief of staff] Scott English at a Columbia area bar at the end of the 2004 legislative session.

“She was giving him a lap dance,” says a witness at the bar. “There’s no other way to describe it.”

Another former Sanford staffer tells FITS that Maguire once unbuttoned her blouse and hiked up her skirt in front of him to show off her see-thru, light blue underwear. This incident allegedly occurred not at a bar, but inside the governor’s office – at the unoccupied desk of First Lady Jenny Sanford, no less.

Y’know, even if half of this is true, it’s prime material for a Lifetime miniseries. All this story needs is a big verandah, a rocking chair, a tall glass of ice-cold mint julep, and a bloodhound asleep in front of the screen door. Me, I can’t wait for the next installment. I’m lookin’ at you, Miss Lindsay!