Such a simple story, so moving. Senior citizens meet departing and arriving troops at the airport, giving them handshakes and hugs, passing out cell phones and cookies. As The Way We Get By, winner of the SXSW Special Jury Award, unfolds we see the painful challenges faced by three of the volunteers and the ways they get by, one of which is their volunteer work as troop greeters.
For six years these seniors have been showing up at the Bangor Maine International Airport–the last stop in the US before Iraq and Afghanistan–to dispense hugs, handshakes and best wishes to troops. And through their efforts to improve the live of others in just brief moments, their own lives have been enriched.
Bill is a veteran and widower, the first greeter the troops see, apparently a strong, sweet man, but as the film unfolds we see how his life has fallen apart: He is crippled with debt as he tries to live on his decaying farm, spending hundreds of dollars a month to feed his cats as he tries to cope with the loss of his wife and a diagnosis of prostate cancer. His depression is palpable away from the airport, and his situation seems untenable: His finances, his health and the utter squalor–a result of depression–in which he lives are all crushing him. However, the purpose he finds at the airport helps transform his life.
Joan, a great grandmother (and mother of the film’s director Aron Gaudet) is in constant pain and takes a variety of prescriptions to control her health problems. She wonders if throwing them all away would make her feel better. But at all hours of the day and night, she goes to the airport to greet the returning troops, surprising her family that she is out and about at all hours. And while she admits she can’t say goodbye to the troops, preferring only to greet the returning soldiers, when her granddaughter is deployed, she finally crosses that hurdle.
At one point Joan says about the war:
Would we want someone coming to here and telling us how to live? It makes you think.
Hale and hearty Jerry lives with his dog Flannigan. He jokes with them troops, buys cookies and candy for them, and beneath his bluff exterior he mourns the death of his ten year-old son. During the course of the film he must cope with additional loss and his own mortality. He too expresses doubts about the war and wonders if he’s being patriotic when he says about the troops
We don’t necessarily support the reasons they were sent there, but we support them.
As the troops return–over 750,000 so far have been met by Bill, Jerry, Joan and their fellow Maine Troop Greeters–they go to the memory wall and view their fallen fellows, and talk about their experiences. The troops’ pain and joy is every bit as heart wrenching as that of the Bill, Jerry and Joan as they embrace their families, call home and remember their lost battle-mates.
Last week’s film also profiled a group of senior citizens, and in both movies the message is that we need to be a part of something greater than ourselves in order to find purpose and a will to live (and given modern medical science, even if you loose the will to live, you’ll be kept alive).
The Way We Get By shows how one group finds meaning, purpose, and how they do get by, and more, by giving and caring. And I am not ashamed to say that I cried the whole way through.
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Just a couple quick things before we welcome Gita and Aron. Please stay on topic–in this case the beautiful and moving film The Way We Get By and the underlying themes of our troops, senior citizens and their challenges, and our need to connect and feel a part of something.
Also, when you reply to a question or comment, please hit “reply.” And don’t forget to hit refresh on your browser to show updated comments and replies.
Thank you Gita and Aron for being here, and for making The Way We Get By. I haven’t cried so much in a movie in a decade. You tapped into a wellspring of humanity and caring with your profile of these three people and their lives. How are Bill, Joan and Jerry doing?
How has the movie changed their lives?
And how has it changed yours?
Hi Lisa…I’m pretty slow at typing but here goes…
Gita, Aron, Welcome to the Lake.
No problem, I’m slow and make tpyos, so you’re in good company!
and just keep hitting the browser’s refresh to see new comments
Bill, Joan and Jerry are all doing well. They have their good days and bad days but they are all still greeting as much as they can. Joan (my mom) is actually hoping to join in tonight.
As far as it changing their lives I think it has shown them just how much of an effect troop greeting has on the lives of the troops and their families.
Welcome to the Lake!
Looks like a really powerful study of duty and devotion.
I must say I got a tear in my eye just watching the trailer. Can you sketch out the main characters/greeters for us?
Gita is much faster and tackling how it has changed our lives!
Aron, that’s so awesome that your mom is coming on.
I cried soooo much as I was watching the movie. It was so moving. How long were you filming?
Hi Lisa and guests-
So, the movie has changed our lives in ways we could never have expected. Aron and I started dating when we discovered the film. He took me to his home in Maine to meet his mom (Joan in the film) and through four years of making the film, we went through a lot. But it was through Joan, Bill, and Jerry that we were able to get through our own personal obstacles and came through stronger in the end.
Right before I logged on for this chat, I was trying on my wedding dress (Aron doesn’t know what it looks like…but its beautiful….and I love it!). We’re getting married Oct. 16 in Maine!
WOW!!!! That is sooo beautiful!
Were you in Maine for the four years of shooting, or did you visit and go back and forth? How many hours of footage were condensed to make an 84 min movie?
It’s amazing to see the response the film is getting with audiences across the country. Through the film, our three subjects have been able to connect with those that they greeted at the airport and their families. And in some cases, for those that could not return home, meeting their families and sharing in some very powerful moments. The greeters are an extension of these families. They are there to hug them before they go and welcome them back–no politics just that human compassion. I think that was what attracted us to the film in the first place.
We had over 300 hours of footage when we went into start editing.
We would travel back and forth to Maine going up there nearly every month while shooting…we started in December of 2004 and the last thing we shot was in January of 2008 so a little over 3 years.
I found this post on The Way We Get By facebook page. It really expresses the deep service the greeters perform:
Jimmy Wood wrote
at 10:58am on July 25th, 2009
I was deployed with my infantry Bn. to the Al An-Bar Province for the “surge” 2006-08, as we passed through Bangor I was completely surprised and honored at the reception we got…and then while on constant patrols thru Fallujah, Ramadi and Baghdad, we often spoke of getting back to Bangor and seeing the “folks” again! I hope they really understand the impact they had on lot of us, if not all of us. I didn’t know this movie existed until two days ago and as I watched the trailer it made me remember those feelings I had for the wonderful veterans and citizens of Bangor, Maine…GOD bless each one of them!
And I bet you I will get a look at that wedding dress before Oct. 16th…Gita cannot CANNOT keep a secret!
Has there been a website set up for the greeters (Joan, Bill, Jerry)?
How is your niece who deployed? And your nephew?
Yeah, just as Jimmy writes…we get hundreds of emails form troops with the same kind of story…it really is amazing the wide reach the troop greeters have had over these last six years. It is quite a ripple effect because it also stretches out to include all of the military families and loved ones at home that are so grateful to have the troop greeters there when their son/daughter/husband/wife pass through Bangor.
http://www.themainetroopgreeters.com is the website for the Maine Troop Greeters
My niece Amy and nephew Troy both deployed in January of 2008 and their entire unit returned safely in January of 2009…not a single casualty just as Amy says in the film.
ZOMG!
marriage! what a nice dividend, to be sure
Thanks Elliott– there is a great sketch of each character in Lisa’s intro to the chat…might be quicker than having me type them out.
We get so many stories like that on our website. Like Joan says, it is all about families…I feel like that now. I love hearing from military families that share there own stories of how these simple gestures impacted their lives. It’s a little piece of good…of hope… that I find a lot of comfort in.
My mom (Joan in the film) was thinking of joining in here. I’m not sure if she is on or not, and if she was able to register. If she is reading this maybe she will join in and you can ask her a question as well.
How did you guys hear about THE WAY WE GET BY?
How did the greeting the troops start? It is wonderful that they are there doing this heartfelt job.
Mrs. Gaudet…your friends are waiting….:-)
So many troops, National Guards, it is so hard and painful, and these people come back so changed for life. It is a an act of such kindess and humanity that the greeters are there. And though their voluteer work has helped them, it seems clear that the greeters wish the war would end, given the toll they see…
Speaking of, did the private who gave Jerry his medal ever make it back?
I found out about you through Silverdocs, which Bev turned me on to.
Hello.
Re the coin, this is a very difficult question for Jerry. He has not reunited with Jerry. I think Jerry has lost hope but also reminds us he could have come to the airport when he was in the hospital or went through a different airport. Jerry keeps the coin with him still–in his pocket–waiting for him.
We hope this film will reunite them….
hello, this is Joan–I have no idea what I’m doing.
Hi Joan. You are soo cool, and an inspiration! Thanks for joining us!
There you go mom!! Great job. So Joan from the film is nannag1 @ msn.com”
Joan – welcome to the Lake. You are doing great.
And thanks even more so for what you do for others! How does it feel to be a movie star?
just a reminder– keep hitting refresh!
She is not having the easiest time with it. She is new to the internet but trying her best!
The troop greeters began doing this during the Persian Gulf War. WWII vet Bill Knight and a group of other vets decided they didn’t want what happened in Vietnam to happen again so they made sure to greet all the troops coming through Bangor. They made that promise during this war….not knowing it would have been 6+ years but nonetheless would have done it anyway.
As you can imagine, and as Joan says, they’re getting older and its getting tougher but they are still there. And anyone here, if they go to Bangor, will be able to greet them!
Aron, i guess it was from your mom that you learned about the greeters… how did you narrow it down to adding just Bill and Jerry?
Mamma G, you’re doing great…we’re always getting you involved in something:-)!!
i know the movie was here for south by southwest but i didn’t get to see it then. i’ve just asked the alamo drafthouse to bring it here. just the trailer is making me cry. i just want to reach out and hug bill.
Refresh button on a PC is F5 and on a MAC is Command R
I don’t feel like movie–it’s just me like always
This is such a great idea, and how moving it must be for the troops to have someone there for them.
Oh it is sooo moving. I had to stop watching it and go sit outside for a second I was crying so much, and I cried writing the post too…
Joan, you were so brave getting out and driving to the airport…I’m sure the first few times were scary….did you know Bill and Jerry before? How did you get involved?
We met Bill the very first flight we went to– it was 2am and earlier that day he had been diagnosed with prostate cancer and yet there he was still out there greeting…we had a very emotional talk with him and just knew he would be someone worth following and then Jerry always had the troops laughing and we knew we would need some humor to lighten things up. Little did we know then what a deep and interesting subject he would prove to be.
Please DO!! Aron loves that theater and it would be amazing if it could screen there. We’re distributing ourselves so as you can imagine, it is the biggest challenge for two filmmakers with no budget. But through word of mouth we’ve been able to get it in NYC, LA, and now coming up Chicago, Cleveland, San Fran, San Jose, Boston and a bunch of other cities. Our goal is to travel the country with it and share this experience with audiences in every state.
good on ya for bringing all these fine people here to chat with us today.
has Jerry gotten a dog? He loves dogs…
Do you have other friends that go to the airport with you now, younger greeters to help out?
oops. i just asked them to bring the movie. i’ll send another email and ask them to bring you too!!!
Gita, this is really important movie for seniors and for high schools too… especially because it is makes no statement about the politics of war. i hope you’ll be able to get lots of age groups to see it!
Thanks for asking the Alamo to bring it back…that is the best and easiest way for us to try to book a screening is for people in the area to request the movie. Then they know there is interest in the film.
I did not know Bill and Jerry until I went to the airport the first time in Oct. of 03.
How many greeters are there total? And how did the greeters program start?
There are around 200 that are on a list as troop greeters, but really it is a core group of around 25-30 that are there all the time.
WoW!! You’re the greatest! Can we take you on the road with us:_)
sent the email asking them to bring you too! and told them you were getting married oct 16. i hope they bring it. is that where it played during sxsw?
During SXSW we played at the convention center and the Alamo South Lamar theatre…we also won the Special Jury Award, so it was a great and very special World Premiere for us. We loved Austin and would love to come back with the film. It’s also near Fort Hood where we would love to do a screening.
sure, i’ll come on the road….that’d be fabulous! anything you want me to do. (i do like to cook healthy food).
hi to the filmmakers, i saw this amazing film at south by southwest and it caused me to talk to my own uncle about his service in ww2. he never brought it up, but when i told him i wanted to thank him it really opened a way for us to talk about it.
my question is about another theme of the film though. how some of the greeters would just be lonely and have nothing to do without the greeting. like so many older americans. do you have organizations on board who will help you use the film in that way? as an example of how much better our society could do, bringing the elderly back into the fold to care for them, or helping them contribute?
Screening parties are also an option…a number of films we’ve had here have been shown by local folks who organize an event
At the Cleveland International Film Festival, they brought in 400 high school students who never really had the opportunity to see independent films. Jerry was with us and we told him…don’t get disappointed but this isn’t our target demographic. We have no clue how they’ll respond. Jerry and I sat in back of the packed theater and just watched the faces of these young men and women. As they settled down into the film, it was amazing and overwhelming to see them react. At the end of the screening, Jerry came to the front of the theater and it was a huge hit. They asked for his autograph, took photos, it was an unforgettable experience for both the high school students and Jerry.
We hope to do more screenings throughout the educational market–but again, it usually is through word of mouth for us.
What we find is that it is easier for audiences to get the film but a tough sell to the film industry….that continues to baffle me.
Hi Beachtree– We do have organizations coming on board to help with that…we have teamed with a few different volunteer organizations like VolunteerMatch and Hands On Network to try to turn the movie into a call of action to find an activity in your own community to give your life more purpose and at the same time make your community a better place to be.
That’s Hollywood..you don’t have seniors singing pop hits so they don’t know how to market it
Sold! Right now we’re on the road so much, you don’t want to know what we eat. In fact, we are now typing and doing this at a FedEx Kinkos and then have a 90 minute drive back to Boston where we will still have to put in a few hours of work.
I thought making the film was tough but the marketing and distribution may just kill me:-)
Awesome! Bill’s coda at the end shows how important it is for communities ot have people involved. BTW, I was really impressed by how Bill changed his life and I feel in large part it was because of the positive input he got from being a greeter
You’re right. I was talking to someone at Fox Searchlight. He said Young at Heart is considered a box office disappointment–though it brought $4million in for a doc for a film on seniors. I told him, they didn’t need to spend that much on advertising and could have a successful run. But now, they’re less willing to take on senior issue films. So now we all lose. Go figure.
Are you looking at Academy consideration?
Absolutely…we felt many times that without troop greeting Bill may not still be with us. There were times that greeting was all he had keeping him going and giving him the reason to push through all his tough times. He has tremendous willpower and just the dedication to be there for the troops really gives him all the purpose he needs to climb out of bed each morning. He is an inspiration.
Just catching up on the thread, and AW DANG – I thought perhaps with the whole healthcare reform going on that seniors might be spotlit a little more.
if i had a car i would absolutely head up a “drive your local seniors to see the way we get by” campaign. i think in a small way, that would solve both problems!
also i just noticed that joan was on the website, that’s awesome. thank you for being in the film joan! you’re amazing!
its so cool that you can use a computer, some of my college professors can barely seem to handle it
Thank you for the kind words. I don’t do very well on the computer.
Hi Kelly–you’re right….and its a huge issue. We’re hoping to change that by trying to get the film out in the press. I think it really speaks to the heart of what our seniors are facing and as baby boomers retire, it will be a critical issue —how to take care of our seniors and who will take care of them with the nursing shortage. It’s a fascinating discussion.
Well…we are doing what we need to do to qualify for end of the year awards. You need to play for a week in NYC and a week in LA in theatres and we are doing that…not just for award consideration, but also because we want to give the film the best chance to succeed and find a wide audience and you often can’t get into smaller markets without doing well in big markets first.
We had a great opening week in NYC last week, and now we open in LA August 14th and then Boston, Chicago, Cleveland etc. But we really want to get it into smaller cities near military bases (like Austin etc).
The fact that we can do all this and qualify at the same time is a bonus!
You’re doing great! xo G
Joan, doing awesomely! And if you can, what are your thoughts on the current state of health care, Rx costs, etc?
yeah joan you are doing great!!
All I know is it all costs way too much.
San Diego might be a good call for you as well, also La Paloma Theater is Encinitas, CA right down the road from Oceanside http://www.lapalomatheatre.com/
Just some quick plugs…you can become a fan of “The Way We Get By” on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/thewaywegetby and follow us on Twitter @thewaywegetby …it’s a great way to keep up to date on screenings and special events we have planned.
I think our booker is trying for San Diego right now and has also had interest from a theatre in San Jose for a screening. We’d love to screen near Camp Pendleton in CA– so many Marines have come from there through Bangor.
I’m emailing La Paloma now, if that’s okay. I spent a lot of time in Encinitas growing up and that’s where I saw Easy Rider!
Please do…we need all the ground support calling and requesting our film that we can get. This really needs to be the little film that could. With no interest from distributors this is the only way we’ll get it across the country. Support from the people that matter. If enough people demand it they will take notice!
Gita is really slacking on here…too wrapped up in thoughts of her wedding gown I guess.
Done!
what is in the future for the greeter? how much longer can they keep this up? And once the wars are over and the troops are home….
Great…we’re looking forward to opening in LA, but we’ve been told it’s tough to get people out because it is so spread out. I guess it’s even tougher than NYC because everyone is driving and there is no street foot traffic by the theatre…we play at the Laemmle’s Music Hall in Beverly Hills.
Can anyone tell us what their favorite part of the movie is?
You may want to let some of the larger senior homes (Belmont Assisted Living is a chain, so is Sunshine, and they have a branch in Bev Hills) know about the screenings. They have outting days.
I’ll let my mom respond as well, but I think the core group of greeters will keep it up as long as it takes…which could still be years and years. If it does wrap up, I really hope they are each able to find something else to pour themselves into as much as troop greeting– but it will be tough to find something as fulfilling as what they are doing.
Good question Mom…any takers?
I just want to remind people that you can find the film’s current screen schedule here and for thos eof you in LA it starts Aug 14 at the Laemmle. And in Boston Aug 28…
You get that Gita? Let’s definitely look into the place in Beverly Hills.
Joan, I loved you complaining about your Rxs and joking that they should make you just fall asleep.
There were other parts that made me cry so much. But I also loved when you said “My daughter caled and it was after dark and she was wondering where I was.”
And the montage of all the troops calling home was WONDERFUL!
That’s great advice and I will definitely check these out.
emailing you some stuff
I love the scene of my mom on her way to the airport and talking about her daughter as well…because that was what we were all doing. You have to understand, my mom never even went out after dark for years, and suddenly she was NEVER home, never home after dark, never home at 3am…we were all kind of freaking out, but she was so dedicated she just made it her new way of life. We’re all very proud of what she is doing.
I also love hearing the troops calling home. One of my favorite parts is Bill singing GOD BLESS AMERICA.
I love the RX seen as well. My favorite Bill scene is one that actually doesn’t get a ton of laughs but it always cracks me up…it’s when they joke about Bill’s age and how he’s older than the pope….he’s AH HUH cracks me up.
As for Jerry, I love the phone call scene.
Thank you so much Joan, Gita and Aron! This has been an aweosme chat about a GREAT movie and we are thrilled and honored you joined us. And Thanks for sharing the news! We’ll be thinking of you Oct 16!
Sounds like a fascinating film. I would never have given it a thought to be honest about greeting or saying good bye to the troops in this way. When I read that people do this, I was intrigued to know who they are. Film is such a great storytelling medium, and it sounds like this is a good example of that.
Thanks Lisa and everyone else…hope we screen in everyones town sometime soon.
Best,
Aron
Siun is upstairs…
“You Came Too Close, We Lit You Up” – The Lethal Warriors Come Home
Late to the party, as usual. I live close to Bangor and travel to/from BIA on many of my business trips. I’ve seen these folks in action and I want to thank them for their labor of love. I’m really happy that their tireless efforts are being recognized for posterity. While I’ve always hated this needless and illegal war, I want to thank all of these greeters for their devotion in making our troops return to the States a very memorable occasion.
I’ll get the word out locally here about this film…it’s really important.
Phoenix Woman. Upstairs.
Spin Versus Reality: Your GOP/Media Complex In Action
I can imagine that the greeters do a lot of good for our service-people.
When I returned from a year in Vietnam people did not usually thank anyone for their service. Most people were not comfortable saying anything to someone in uniform. But I remember one man came up to me and said I know this is not a popular war but I appreciate your willingness to serve, or something like that. That one greeting meant a lot to me.