Fend off Black Bart with your free AK-47!

However, the gun rack is going to cost you extra:

Mark Muller, whose business slogan is "God, Guns, Guts, and American Pick-Up Trucks", said he had been overwhelmed by the response.

Mr Muller, who only sells American vehicles, is offering a gift certificate – only to be used at a licensed dealer – for a Kalashnikov AK-47 worth $450 (£320)

 …

"It’s extremely successful. There is a lot of worry about crime, we have a methamphetamine problem around here and people just want to protect themselves," said the boss of Max Motors near Kansas City. "And what could be better than supporting American products in these troubled times?"

Little known fact: Back in 1620, Charles "Mikhail Kalashnikov" Peabody came to this country on the Mayflower and set up Ye Old Arms Shoppe just due south of Plymouth Rock. The HELL? While there is a single independent facility in North Carolina that manufactures Kalashnikovs, claiming that giving away AK-47s "supports American products" is rather like distributing Toyotas for free because they have a plant in Alabama.  If this moran truly wanted to support American companies (other than his own), why not give away Smith & Wessons, instead?  [I'm rolling my eyes here, people.]

Muller also manages to get a nice dog whistle into the interview, as well.  If, by "troubled times," he means an increasingly majority minority population in the heartland, a BLACK man in the WHITE House, and the first Latina Supreme Court justice who insists on pronouncing her name all Hispanic-like, then sure, I suppose his times are pretty troubled.  For the rest of us, the last thing we need is a bunch of xenophobic, paranoid crackers amped up on crystal meth and armed with fucking assault rifles that can fire 600 rounds per minute driving around town looking to get even for Obama trying to take away their guns

It’s okay, I’ll wait for you to try to figure out that logic.

Muller, who packs heat AND eats sushi (no cracker he!), rationalizes his assault rifle give-away:

Asked why an automatic weapon with a 30 or 60-round magazine was required for self-defence, he cited the case of the Florida couple recently shot dead in their homes by a gang of six robbers.

"I don’t know a single shotgun would have worked for them. With an automatic they might have died, but they would have taken some of the bastards down too," he said. 

Yeah, if only everyone had the Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Assault Rifle, this country would be a much better, safer place.

Because we’d all be dead.