When Neil Armstrong stepped on the moon on July 20, 1969, 10:56 p.m., I was lying with my elbows on our den floor, resting my chin in my hands, gazing at our Zenith television. My physical circumstances couldn’t have been more different than Armstrong’s. Yet, in my heart, that was my boot kicking up moon dust.

I’d hooked up an old reel-to-reel recorder to the television. My father found a place near the Houston Heights that could press the tape into a vinyl record. My older brother drove me to the shop to drop the tape off. But, somehow, we never managed to pick up that record.

Tomorrow is the 40th anniversary of the first moon landing.  For millennia humans gazed longingly at the moon, but I’m not sure we ever fully grasped the reality that humans actually traveled there. It’s telling that "The Great Moon Hoax" and "The Apollo Hoax" are numbers seven and eight in a Google search for "moon landing."

To the Hittites, the moon was the god, Arma. To the Greeks, it was Selene, then Artemis. Some Native Americans thought the moon the wife of the sun. She played with the stars, their children, when the mean old sun was far away. Because the sun liked to eat the stars, they hid when he was about the house.

A rocket scientist named Abe Silverstein gave the name "Apollo" to NASA’s manned moon mission.  He liked the image of the sun god riding his gold chariot across the sky. Despite our destination, a place long associated with feminine power and purpose, I suppose it was out of the question that we would name our rocket rides after a girl.

Connected often with time, desire, nurturance and the cycles of life and death, the moon has drawn our spirits with a strength equal to its pull on our oceans.  It seems to many that love itself might be the color of moonlight.

Did going there destroy that illusion? Did we profane the sacred?

In John Keats’ brief introduction to Endymion, his epic retelling of a Greek myth about the moon goddess’ love of a shepherd, Keats wrote:

The imagination of a boy is healthy, and the mature imagination of a man is healthy; but there is a space of life between, in which the soul is in a ferment, the character undecided, the way of life uncertain, the ambition thick-sighted: thence proceeds mawkishness, and all the thousand bitters which those men I speak of must necessarily taste in going over the following pages…

What Keats feared, and I do too, is a time of decadence and doubt, a post-innocence time that yet lacks the wise and full blessings of experience.

A couple of years before Armstrong arrived there, an obscure songwriter named Jonathan King had a surprising hit song, "Everyone’s Gone to the Moon." Its lyrics were rather incoherent and, well, mawkish. But King seemed to be singing of loss and alienation, of a sad and growing distance between people. Looking to the moon, we forgot to look into one another’s eyes.

Narrating live Armstrong’s moonwalk, Walter Cronkite and his astronaut co-anchor Wally Schirra may have inadvertently signaled the symbolic ambiguity of the moon landing when they missed the second part of Armstrong’s first words from the moon:

Cronkite:  Armstrong is on the moon. Neil Armstrong, 38-year-old American standing on the surface of the moon, on this July 20, 1969.

Armstrong:  That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.

Schirra: I think that was Neil’s quote, but I didn’t understand it.

Cronkite: One small step for man, but I didn’t get the second phrase. Some one of our monitors here at space headquarters was able to hear that, we’d like to know what it was.

Armstrong: Yes, the surface is fine and powdery. I can kick it up loosely with my toe. It does adhere in fine layers, like powdered charcoal, to the sole and sides of my boots. I only go in a small fraction of an inch, maybe an eighth of an inch, but I can see the footprints of my boots and the treads in the fine, sandy particles.

Cronkite: That’s,  ‘One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.’

For whatever reasons, we have never been certain of that "giant leap."

Many felt at the time that the space program was a waste of money. The Right thought it extravagant. Many on the Left preferred the money be spent closer to home on poverty programs, education and health care.

The critics missed what adventure and achievement mean to a people’s spirit. At one time, NASA embodied our best qualities. Nothing seemed impossible. Then, forced again and again to justify its plans, the space agency adapted to the ways of Washington. It became a bureaucracy.

It is sad that Cronkite can’t be with us to celebrate Armstrong’s walk on the moon. When the lunar module first landed, he lost the power of speech. Finally, he said, "Oh boy," perhaps the most poignantly mundane phrase ever spoken on television.

I think Cronkite would tell us the problem is not that everyone’s gone to the moon. The problem is that too many of us stayed home.


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