Via Wonkette, we are blessed with this shiny little wisdom nugget from Jake "The Tool" Tapper:
I know it’s tough, but try to follow this bouncing ball.
Statement of fact: Both Islamic fundamentalists and Republicans are against marriage equality for gay people.
Statement of fact: Jake Tapper, James Von Brunn, and Scott Roeder are all white males.
Statement of fact: Both Jake Tapper and James Von Brunn are American males with journalism training.
Therefore…
Yes we CAN do this all day. In fact, it’s kind of fun!
So, in honor of the deep thinking Jake Tapper, we’re going to open up the phone lines and let you play "Reductio Ad Absurdum".
What’s the lamest false equivalency YOU can come up with?
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Statement of fact: Both Jake Tapper and fluffers work around cameras.
I was looking around for a good one. Yours is pretty good.
Therefore I am you.
.
Our current economic system is a “free market.”
BWAWAHAWHAHAHAAAAAAHAHAHAWAAA!!!!!
And some of the jerko companies in it. And some really freakin’ kewl ones, too…
.
Statement of fact: Jake Tapper, just like Pol Pot, has two eyes.
Statement of fact: In the past few days, both Jake Tapper and every pedophile on Earth has urinated.
Statement of fact: Jake Tapper, and the dog that shit on my lawn, both have hair.
Umm… Ok, not sure you want to be me, there’s a lot of underlying issues, and a bad credit score.
Statement in fact: Jake Tapper, James Von Brunn, and Osama Ben Ladin all have male genitalia….
Statement in fact: Just like Kim Jung Il, Jake Tapper breathes air…
Statement of Fact: Nancy Pelosi and Sarah Palin are both grandmothers.
(Or are they?)
Statement of fact: Jake, Rush, Beck, Sean all have
a) four letters in their name
b) attachment to a microphone
c) you fill in the blank….
Statement of Fact: Andrew Sullivan and Perez Hilton are both gay.
(wait — I’ll come in again)
Jake and Marisa Tomeii’s character in My Cousin Vinny are both tappers…..maybe his biological clock is ticking, too.
You mean Jake “The Tool” Tapper isn’t the name of a porn star (yet)?
they beg off, even in the porn industry
Here is an interesting nonequivalence that outweighs any equivalences:
Brunn comomited cold blooded premeditated murder and a hate crime, and encouraged others do to the same.
Wright has never done either.
Given that very relevant nonequivalence, what point does Tapper think he is making? Could someone ask him that? Seriously, could FDL make an official request for Tapper to explain what point he thinks he is making?
Here are interesting equivalences:
Statement of fact: Jake Tapper and Homer Simpson both BS out my TV regularly.
Statement of fact: Jake Tapper and my senile old dog make unpleasant marks on paper as part of their dailyr routines.
I think I have to speak up for your dog here, wesgpc…
Jane’s Silo post is now front-paged!
34 Votes
Statement of fact: Jake Tapper’s DNA is almost IDENTICAL to that of a Bonobo or a Chimpanzee.
Meanwhile, also unlike James von Brunn, Jeremiah Wright actually helped save lives, as a Bethesda corpsman. He was given a commendation for his care of President Johnson when LBJ had a heart attack.
Statement of fact: Neither Jake Tapper nor Adolf Hitler have been seen in the Burger King in Coralville, Iowa.
This is pretty shit. Tapper’s one of ABC’s better journalists; he’s asked the administration tough questions about indefinite detention and torture that few other MSM journalists have. You’re certainly free to disagree with his assertions, but this knee-jerk name-calling and demonizing is awfully RedState-like of us.
If the above example (typical as it is) doesn’t do it for you…
You need to spend some time with the search engine of your choice, as Tapper, while striving to appear like one of the good-guys, is a class-A schmuck.
Try “jake+tapper+firedoglake” or “jake+tapper+thinkprogress” or “tapper+tool” for starters. I am not kidding.
People come here all the time, wondering why we get so exorcised about Joe Lieberman.
“Hey, he’s all Democraty and stuff…”
I don’t know where they have been, but somehow it has eluded them to that point.
Winner!
I sure hope he sees this.
See the graphic for this post? I created that for an earlier example of Tapper’s toolery.
Jeremiah Wright, ever-obliging, was just what the right was looking for — someone ostensibly on the left to diss “the Jews” (later replaced by Wright with “the Zionists”). The winger argument is that lefties are no longer towing the Israel-can-do-no-wrong line; ergo, Von Brunn must be a leftist. (There are a few more steps to their syllogism, but that’s the idea.)
It is only recently that wingers, wrapped in the Rapture, got the idea that it was necessary to save Israel so Jesus or God or somebody could destroy it & come riding in on a cloud from heaven to rapture all the Evangelicals up to heaven. If you’re 88 years old & you hate Jews, you’re a righty-right winger who hasn’t heard about — & probably couldn’t grasp — the Rapture theory of politics. That’s what Von Brunn’s son says Dad is & that’s what he is.
Somebody might tell Jake the Tool, though it would fall on deaf ears, that Twitter is not the best venue for political analysis.
The Constant Weader at http://www.RealityChex.com