I’m sure some day, someone will look back on this and say, "Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time":
A Valley Station Road church is sponsoring an "Open Carry Church Service" in late June, encouraging people to wear unloaded guns in their holsters, enter a raffle to win a free handgun, hear patriotic music and listen to talks by operators of gun stores and firing ranges.
In an effort "to promote responsible gun ownership and 2nd Amendment rights," the organizer, Pastor Ken Pagano, who also had been trying to get more people into the pews of his New Bethel Church, hit upon the marketing idea of an "Open Carry Church Service".
"It’s just a celebration we’re doing to coincide with Fourth of July," he said. "There are people who own firearms and do so responsibly and enjoy them as a sport, maybe like golfing or bowling."
I haven’t done any extensive research on it, but I’m fairly certain that the number of deaths by bowling balls or golf clubs is pretty small. Guns, not so much.
Not everyone in Kentucky is thrilled with the prospect of mixing Psalms with Smith & Wesson, however.
The Rev. Nancy Jo Kemper of Lexington, who has lobbied against laws such as one allowing citizens with permits to carry concealed weapons, said the event "would nauseate Jesus."
The Rev. Kemper should get her bad self down to a range and fire off a couple of rounds in the name of Christ. Then she’ll understand how one can maintain two totally opposite beliefs in one cranium. Like this guy, for example:
Underwood [who owns a firing range] said he’s a religious person himself and believes the First and Second amendments are closely tied in the nation’s Revolutionary War history.
"Guns are the one thing that secured freedom of religion for our country," he said.
Remember kids: people don’t create democracies, guns do!
So the "Open Carry Service" is going ahead as planned, despite the assassination of Dr. Tiller in the foyer of his church on Sunday. God forbid the sensitivity-deficient Pagano cancel the event – wouldn’t want to piss off the gun-toting religious crazies. That would be dangerous. Just ask Dr. Tiller’s family.
[graphic by twolf, natch]
Related posts:
- Bad news for extra-terrestrial Jesus Horses
- What Kind of Church Accepts George Tiller?
- Rep. Gabrielle Giffords, a Blue Dog, Stands Apart From The Pack
- Obama’s Secret Ninja Army Gun Rapes Teabaggers
Who Only Wanted To Place Daisies In Their Gun Barrels - Late Night: “Does This AR-15 Assault Rifle Make My Ass Look Fat?”






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Yeah, I was speechless when I read this this morning.
It’s as if they perceive how incredibly awful they are, and that’s their cue to double-down.
Oh, wait…
Mind boggles. Whatever happened to “Thou shalt not kill”? Even the fundies should agree with that: that commandment being from the Old Testament (apparently their favorite book).
I’ll spare you a catalog of church shootings. Not.
http://www.americanchronicle.c…..view/10733
http://www.wnd.com/index.php?f…..geId=45077
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,506820,00.html
Definitely not New Testament types.
“Blessed are the peacemakers! BLAM BLAM BLAM!”
I am absolutely certain that none, not one of these lucky parishioners will also be toting their clips. They would never do that.
The idea of mixing guns and church is so wrong. These people truly have lost their minds – or is it just about the money in the collection plate? Probably.
Well, there is the story in Gospels about the conflict in the garden when Jesus was captured. One of the apostles had a sword and attacked the High Priest’s servant, and severed his ear.
According to the story, Jesus took that sword away and said something to the effect of those who live by the sword will die by the sword. Then he restored the servant’s ear.
I’m just sure that if the apostle had been carrying a .44 magnum it would have been all different.
Well, since they’re also having a canned food drive, they can use any leftovers for target practice out back!
Dear Gawd, please forgive my sins … or the preacher gits it !
“It’s GallagherSunday! Bring the melon of your choice – there will be slushies after services!”
These folks would most likely shoot Jesus for being too liberal.
Bless the bullets with bibles.
Just like they did when the Indians had a “10 Cent Beer Night” in the 70’s.
Until the inevitable riot broke out, and the game was forfeited.
But, but, but — double-you-tee, they are unloaded!
And have you checked the stats on death by bowling pins and golf balls? Always look for the zebra….
OMG … I remember that.
I imagine there will be some churches passing the plate to pay the $5,000,000 Bail Bond for Scott Roeder this coming Sunday.
Hmmm. I’ve been wondering about that strange spate of juggler deaths.
This is so disgusting that I can’t even think of a sufficient smartass comment for it.
Don’t feel bad. I’m still trying fixated on the whole “guns secured our freedom of religion” line.
JWP a Beretta Cheetah.
Just a passing question: Has anyone here ever seen Joe Solomnese and Melissa Harris-Lacewell in the same room together?
Hi WT! Extra duty this week?
;~P
in the beginning, there was heat.
About as wrong as religious wars.
What does that mean?
In fairness, probably all Jeebus would need to do is point his finger and say “bang.” The gun-toters can’t fire bullets out of their finger tips so they do the next best thing.
Maybe that’s the origin of kneeling to pray, ducking under the line of fire.
No, but I haven’t seen Pat and Bay Buchanan in the same room, either.
Unarmed guns at church – what a group of pussies!
Jesus’ unwed father (know what that makes Big J – eh?) is a self confessed, multiple occasion, mass murdering maniac – surely his son would only packed loaded heat. Just for fun the church should have a “kill all the first born” sunday – sort of a lets relive great moments in biblical history. Remember though – you can’t do it unless you kill the first born of “cattle” as well – if that’s the way the big kahoona would do it – it’s good enough for me!
Religion BE GONE – and soon. The world can only take so much delusion and insanity.
ROFL
Do you need some potato salad, or something?
Jesus. I don’t know about that Jebus thing people use here.
funny… in my mind, I always figured that Mahatma Gandhi was a lot closer to Jesus than OBL, but evidently these wingnuts think differently. I think we should be thankful that their bigotry is an overruling factor for them or we’d have to worry that they’ll want to team up with AQ to create a holy alliance against reason and the last 4,000 years of human cultural evolution.
Our Father, who art Smith & Wesson
Hollow points be thy Name
When Sunday come
You bring your gun
To church on June twenty seven.
OMG … Brilliant, twolf1 !
.
IT’S A SIGN!!!
It says “STOP.”
If they wu’dn’t home-skewld, maybe they’d know that.
They could still win the next two elections, though. Might be a sit-out if Barry doesn’t quit pandering to these people.
.
OMG! I had to come out of lurk mode and register for account just to say OMFG! And yeah, I’m a real rev with a church in (northern) kentucky. Thankfully, I’d be fired if I suggested this.
Yea WT and TW!!!
enter a raffle to win a free handgun
retread:
a free-refill rifle raffle would ruffle a roof-full of rough Phils.
seconded
Scarecrow is promoted!
Obama To Congress: Insurance Requirement Okay with Public Health Plan Option and Cost Regulation
I ain’t exactly clear on what kind of weapon a young Nazarene gangsta would be packin
but IIRC
their opponents had swords, spears, helmets, shields, and sandals. (oh yeah, an they got paid with salt)
so I’m thinkin a rebellious young Jew would be packin a high caliber sling
probably 15 mm or better
none of this 5 mm “Dennis the Menace” type toy either
we’re talkin a REAL “Goliath slayer” sling shot
my bible studies are a little hazy, but I think Jesus fought off 5000 romans with 5 rocks an two fishes
or sumtin like that …
(ducking & runnin)
*Bows To The Master*
no kidding!
‘Happiness is a warm gun…yes it is’
some wear lead into temptation
don’t believe Teddy Partridge
he’s a spokesman for the vast Mime conspiracy that’s really behind those juggler deaths. The Mime-Clown war has been going on for years, and the
ClownsMimes just want it moreand about the golf ball deaths, Bill Murray has been playing more golf lately cuz his career ain’t going so well. The polite thing to do is to not mention it …
Jesus packs a crossbow.
what next: the Russian roulette orthodox church?
speaking in tongues, shooting as sung ?
Jeff Kaye upstairs!
Two Generals Who Enabled Torture Skirt Accountability
ouch… I hope you plan to show up at the next world championship pun off, held on O’henry’s B-day here Austin!
Quotes from the paper, on the following Monday
“Nobody could have anticipated…”
It makes my head hurt.
I was reeling at the worsening puns in this thread. But Punaise (may I shorten your name to “Pun”?) finally made me groan out loud. Shouts out to Ratfood (kneel to pray; duck under fire) and Toby as well.
Just adding my awe at that graphic. And the “ad copy”. Brilliant work twolf.