Here’s some people I’d like to hear less from as the calendar slides deeper into summertime 2009. There’s also two people I wouldn’t mind sticking around, which may delight or appall you. Your ideas are welcome at we collate an FDL stfu list.

Number One and Reigning Champion: Disgraced former House Speaker Newt Gingrich. The GOP’s Ideas man doesn’t have any new ones; never did, anyway. Can the so-called liberal media just get a cardboard cutout Flat Newt with a thought bubble that says "NO" to set up on all their round tables from now on? Might cut down on green room craft service budgets, too. (stfu, please, Newtie.)

Number Two and Rising Swiftly: Darth & Darthette spawn Liz Cheney, defender of her pop’s policies, procedures, and priorities since before she was born. This worthless hag-ette has been pulling her dad’s balls outta trouble since before she was born, having served as his last Vietnam-era military deferment while pre-born inside Lynne. She has little to add that isn’t regurgitated prevarications and lies of Daddy’s — so I propose another cardboard cutout: Flat Liz, with a thought bubble that says, "What Daddy Said!" (stfu, please, Liz.)

Number Three and Very Irritating: Sweater twinset model Mika Brezinski, who seems not to understand that the rest of us do not marvel at the astounding mental process of Cuppa Rank Joe Scarborough. I’m happy to have the disgraced former Congressman (how many of your former distinguished colleagues’ resumes include an unexplained female aide dead in their office, Joe?) gab endlessly on MSNBC in the morning, because he provides a hilarious lowbrow rightwing counterpoint to the evening’s commonsense commentators. But Mika’s adoring attitude, which she may have adopted (who knows!?) in fear of her own personal safety, is wearing very thin. Before Joe goes all Lori Klausutis on her one morning for being insufficiently fawning, let’s get her outta there. (stfu, please, Mika.)

Number Four and Still Cross-Eyed: Ron Christie. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. But can you and Alan Keyes just get a room and work out your issues, please, fellahs? (stfu, please, Ron. you too, Alan.)

Number Five and Getting Younger Every Day: Bay Buchanan, whose miraculous plastic surgery experiments would have you believe she’s Pat’s daughter, not his sister, if you put them next to one another on a television stageset. One person you probably won’t ever see next to Bay Buchanan is Mary Matalin — does James Carville check ID before he tucks her in every night? Because these two scary Marys are morphing into the same person. But Bay’s views are really unnecessary as long as brother-daddy Pat still has his MSNBC green-room cot. (stfu, please, Bay. you too, Mary, you alleged war criminal.)

And who do I want to stick around, debating the future of the GOP and their Administration’s torture legacy? Why, warmonger Colin Powell and warprofiteer Dick Cheney, of course!

One of them had to practically beg the GOP to stop trying to draft him as a candidate for president in 1996; the other had to fold his tent when he couldn’t drum up any interest in his presidential candidacy that same year. One of them lied America into an illegal war — and the other lied America into an illegal war! They are like the yin & yang of lying America into an illegal war — joined forever, one head-hangingly ashamed and one pump-headedly proud!

And now, at every opportunity, they fight like two old Politburo members over who the party loves more. But America is starting to see the tarnish on General/Secretary Powell: not many Earthlings might reasonably worry about being charged with war crimes in three American wars. It does my Democratic Socialist heart good, though, to see Colin Powell say, "I am TOO a Republican, and a better one that Rush Limbaugh!" {not actual quote} and have Dick Cheney respond, "I’d rather have a GOP led by Rush than Powell — is he even still a Republican?" {not actual quote, or it might be….}

The more these two has-beens go on with their demented irrational ranting about who belongs in the Republican Party, the more Americans say, "Well, not me, that’s who!"

The GOP now claims the loyalty of 21% of the American electorate. How much lower need they go before they are no longer a major party? I figure one more big Meet the Press/CNN/Face the Nation Powell v. Cheney smackdown will take the GOP’s membership deep into the teens. That’s Whig-y.

Think about it: that means the Democratic Party could split in half — and both new parties would be bigger than the GOP.

It could happen.