I don’t watch American Idol. As a liberal elitist I of course sneer at the entertainment choices of Real American Heartland Voters. At the same time as a liberal elitist I also applaud the efforts of Hollyweird to dumb down the sheeple with their idiot degenerate cultural productions. Hey, all I know is it’s all been crap since From Justin to Kelly, which was, in its way, the only bright spot in American popular music since Buddy Holly died.

But you know who’s not confused? Why, it’s Sipp E. Cupp of Townhall, who has some pretty damn fascinating things to say about this year’s Idol, which, again, I didn’t watch, except via clips on The Soup, from which I had been given to understand, vaguely, that a certain amount of controversy was attached to this year’s competition to crown a singer who will now go on to record a lot of music I, like most Americans, Heartland and Coastal alike, won’t ever listen to, because we all know deep down it just kind of sucks. Anyway the controversy, I gather, involves one singer who won’t talk about his sexual orientation but gives off, you know, a kind of a gay vibe, and another performer, who is aggressively upfront about liking girls and Jesus, and therefore could not be anything else but incredibly not gay at all (I bet he’s gay).

Anyhow, Ms. Cupp:

This week Kris Allen, who during the American Idol season prompted unabashed praise from Simon Cowell and the rest of the judges, was voted America’s favorite over Adam Lambert, his theatrical and inconsistent competitor.

Because Adam Lambert is, according to many, gay, the liberal media is blaming Christians for the tough loss. There are even rumblings that this “election” was rigged. Reminiscent of Bush/Gore 2000, anyone?

FUCKIN’ A! (I still like Paula Abdul better than Scalia).

Liberals are once again falling back on the only explanation they can ever muster when an anointed protégé or pet cause du jour loses: blame the backwards, hickish, intolerant Christian masses. Yes, the same folks who – inexplicably – put George W. Bush in the White House (twice), fell for Sarah Palin, and voted for Proposition 8 all to the shock and awe of the apoplectic left.

America fell for Sarah Palin…?

The American Idol “upset” prompted Newsweek’s Ramin Setoodeh to offer this searing analysis: “Woah. So it’s really true: Kris Allen is the new American Idol. Really? Seriously?”

His shock was mitigated by what he considered an obvious explanation for the loss: “You could say…that religion is an irrelevant criterion for judging a singing competition. But the fact remains that Idol is one of TV’s most family-friendly shows, and it draws a large number of Christian viewers. Kris Allen had the edge here.”

KILL HIM! HE HATES JESUS! I’m not sure why Ms. Cupp leaves out the actual link to Setoodeh’s post, because it’s even more damning than that: "In the end, Adam was the better singer, but Kris might have been the more unique artist, despite what the judges said…. They’re both terrific guys who have great careers ahead of them. But maybe Kris is the more deserving American Idol after all." KILL HIM! HE HATES JESUS!

Of course Setoodeh also defends the not-gay performer, whose name I can’t remember, on these grounds:

"Don’t believe me? Prior to the finale, here are the Adam performances I most remember: "Black and White," "Tracks of My Tears," "Mad World," "If I Can’t Have You." Here’s Kris’s list: "Ain’t No Sunshine," "Falling Slowly," "She Works Hard for Her Money," "Heartless." Which songs are you more likely to have on your iPod? Kris beats Adam on mine."

I tried to load any of these songs onto my iPod, and it shot me.

I’m pretty skeptical overall about what American Idol says about Our Culture, besides that a lot of people like shitty music if it’s sufficiently hyped. But if you like AI, well, fine by me, more power to you, and I won’t make fun of you.

However, if you think American Idol results show that "Christians" are more persecuted nowadays than gays, well, now, among other things, that’s pretty damn funny.