Courtesy of Teh Sadly
The latest brilliant GOP rebranding idea comes from The Pantload, who’s convinced himself that the only reason Obama won the 2008 election was that people thought McCain was "cranky."
Picking lint out of his own navel Commenting on his own article, he proposes:
I think an Hispanic Ward Connerly could do wonders for the GOP. For starters, he could set the immigration debate right in a way that fixes much of the GOP’s so-called branding problem. He — or she, though my sense is it would need to be a he — could make it clear that legal immigration is good (though in need of reform) and that illegal immigration undermines not only continued legal immigration, but assimilation. More important, he could allow the GOP to reclaim at least some of the extremely good and noble narrative of immigration as a story of individualism, entrepreneurialism, and patriotic assimilation rather than group victimization. An Hispanic businessman could shake things up in all sorts of ways. He could send the signal that the GOP is still the party of opportunity and self-reliance. He would help with the deteriorating Catholic vote, with the Western states, and even some Eastern urban areas.
Problem solved!
Never mind the economy, the various wars BushCo lost, health care, energy, climate change, wage stagnation, stem cell research — you know, all the reasons people kicked Republicans out of every level of government over the past two elections.
Some of my fellow FDLers also had fun with this.
Attaturk:
"I think an Hispanic Ward Connerly could do wonders for the GOP". Right, because the non-hispanic Ward Connerly has really make a huge fucking difference. Just look at how many African-Americans vote GOP now!
Thers:
"Quick, get me a Mexican those Minutemen guys like!"
Peterr:
I think someone’s been hanging out at "Build-A-Bear" down at the mall a bit too much for everyone’s comfort.
Add your own ridicule below.
Related posts:
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- At Texas Tea Party, Joe The Plumber Recommends Forced Deportation of Immigrants
- House Extends Wildly Successful, Popular “Cash for Clunkers”; Republicans Pout
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And Doughy forgot – he also has to use Twitter!
Is there any level of magical thinking that the GOP won’t sink to?
May I offer a suggestion?
When speaking of Republicans, please try to avoid the use of the term “Pantload.” Although I know, from context who you are referring to here, tere are just too many of them (Goldberg, Gingrich, Rove, Limbaugh, etc.) that it can be confusing. At least to me.
In this instance (and many others), I think we and The Pantload are best served when his wishes come to fruition.
For if he finds the “Hispanic Ward Connerly” it will surely work to the benefit of all, right? /s
I got it!!!!! Mel Martiez!!!! he’s perfect!!!! He could be Chairman of the RN….. what? He was? Had to …..? Never mind. I know! He could run for senator in Florida. They’re going to have an empty seat and…… what? He is? He did?
Um…. never mind.
So, in other words the GOP must do precisely the same exact thing that they excoriate Democrats for doing when it comes to seating a new Supreme Court justice. Interesting, that.
Martinez. how could I have ever spelt his name wrong?
How about Alberto Gonzales? Hear he’s looking for work.
He’s perfect, except everyone hates him.
‘The Hispanic Ward Connerly is the kryptonite of liberal fascism’
;>)
Pantload: “Does this post make my head look fat?”
Obviously not.
First there’s gonna be a listening tour, now Rush says “Screw that, it better be a ‘Here’s the hard right playbook with test to follow’ tour.”
Now “an Hispanic Ward Connerly” will make everything all good.
Instead of word smithing and trickery, what about doing your homework, coming up with ideas and discovering some values, decency and morals.
Y’all reading this can get up off the floor now.
Goldberg: “Mommy said I wouldn’t get my monthly allowance if I didn’t write something, so here’s something I spent a whole 10 minutes on.”
It’s like a shelf stocked with Barbies! Collect the whole Big Tent set (then sell it on eBay).
Black America Fun Gooper (Ward Connerly)
Anchor Baby Fun Gooper (Michelle Malkin)
Tundra Tonza Fun Gooper (Sarah Palin)
Geezer Fun Gooper (John McCain)
Gay Fun Gooper (Larry Craig) more to come out soon!
Latino Fun Gooper (listening tour focus group results TBA soon!)
Remember, any groups represented here do not count in final polling numbers!!!
Good job w/ the empasis BT. Mr. Pantlaod is writing about finding someone who will bring back to and into the Republican party?
though my sense is it would need to be a he
Great. How to find somebody to expand the party? Well, for starters, eliminate over half the potential people.
That title really says it all.
Good job Republics. By all means, please continue in your glorious bewilderment. It’s quite amusing and the country might actually stand a chance with you folks out of the mix.
Maybe Jonah can convince Lou Dobbs to get a tan and start talking with an accent.
Picture Caption:
“Mmm, yes. Move it a little to the right. Oh, it’s good. Now put your hand on my shoulder. That’s nice. Just like that.”
When all else fails, ridicule the picture.
Or failing that, put on a tourist sombrero with a pair of white bucks and sing a cover version of Speedy Gonzales.
;>)
I’ve got it!
El Guapo! Of course, we do not have his superior intellect, but we have a plethora of pinatas!
haha! I heard it suggested on Colbert he should get quarantined!
Peterr, you rock!
What about Mrs. Jeb Bush? She’s a typical everywoman story.
OH, pantload said it should be a “he”, though he didn’t explain why.
Jonah looks extremely wasted in that photo. Is that how he writes (and if by “write” you mean arranges his own feces into shapes of vowels and consonants and calls it an article) all his columns?
Pantload looks a little messy. Like he just got out of bed and hasn’t brushed his teeth yet. eeeeewww
Jonah’s ignorance shines through in his vernacular.
Just a thought on his absurd babble. Wouldn’t it be a Latino Ward Connerly? or a Latino Businessman?
Though often used interchangeably in American English, Hispanic and Latino are not identical terms, and in certain contexts the choice between them can be significant.
But then again the Repugs don’t care. All they want is power again whether it’s on the back of a Spanish-American or a Latin American.
The Lost Party!!!!!!!
Should he also have hair as black as ebony, and lips as red as blood?
What about skin as white as snow? Probably not.
Good point.
He can encounter Hispanic people at Taco Bell while he is buying his enchilada.
Now, that’s an idea!
ah, poor Republics. “A Day Without a Mexican”
Great the GOP’s new great Brown ? Hope a man the rest of us Hispanics can be embarrassed about:)
But will the Tea Baggers embrace him? Get our vote lose the GOP base zero sum gain.
Karl’s “math” is using some very funny numbers I’m surprised Geithner has not hired Karl to run the stress tests on the banks.
I see Jonah and I think fox 24/7!! It’s a good thing Linda Tripp’s g/f Lucianne of ‘bluedressgate’ paved the way for her creepy son!!
Any chance pantloads eyes are going to surface?
“Bridges? we don’t need no stinking bridges to nowhere!”
Tambien.
Jonah can’t quite make it through Play-dough’s Republic.
Cheech Marin? At least he could draw a crowd…
Oh. Meh. God.
Big groan and a bow to the master.
How about these guys
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZzJNK-oYac
OT, but did you folks catch Snarlin’ Arlen’s latest?
Boggles the mind, doesn’t it?
I was all ‘oh well, what the heck’ when he announced his switch, but he’s rapidly moved me to the Sestak camp over the last week.
Pimping cancer research is just a bridge too far for me.
Goldberg also forgot one additional qualification — his Great Brown Hope must also be willing to be a figurehead with no influence on policy, because none of the GOP’s problems can possibly be anything but PR.
If these weren’t the same guys who keep trying to outlaw stem cell research, I’d suspect that Jonah was suggesting that they do some genetic engineering or something.
As it is, it’s just a really great example of batshit wishful thinking.
Vote for Juan Valdez. He has the richest coffee in the world!
Jeb’s son would fit the bill to a tee he’s brown mom’s Mexican I think he can speak Spanish if he were to run in Texas or Florida he might win a seat and a win would give him a platform to talk about the GOP’s new Hispanic agenda and the fact he could win would give him Cred.
Of course the Tea Baggers would still hate him because many of them are Racists.
Any real attempt to get my vote pushes the tea baggers away from the GOP.
They will not vote our way as long as Obama is President but they would stay home on election day.
What the heck does that mean? Because to me debates on trade-offs between freedom and virtue are private exercises such as deciding whether to go for the afternoon delight with the intern or to be faithful to one’s spouse. Did he mean the trade-offs between the right to privacy and the regulation of potentially socially harmful activities such as smoking and drinking alcohol? I suppose he might have meant the trade-offs between freedom and security.
Does he even re-read his stuff for mistakes? Does the “editor” K-LO even read the stuff she’s supposed to be editing, much less offer feedback?
Those were rhetorical questions.
They have a Reverse Darwin breeding program the old fashion way fat Jabba the Hut like for their *cough* thinkers Rush, Newt, Karl etc and thin and empty headed but looks *bleeh* good on TV Qualye, Bush etc.
Read Dune the Bene Gesserit breeding program to create a superior man then imagine such a program with the opposite goals.
Most importantly this person would have to be approved by Rush
That’s the problem, I can never think ruthlessly or badly enough to profile these guys. Glad to see some of us can stretch their imaginations that far.
Yes, tis a puzzlement. How to find a person of color that bigots will accept? Hmmmm.
Quien es mas macho? Senor Jonah or Senor Rushbo?
Quien es mas macho? Senor George W. Bush or Senor Cheney?
Quien es mas macho? Senor Hannity or Senor Beck?
cinco cinco cinco uno dos uno dos.
cinco cinco cinco uno dos uno dos.
Its understood that the trade offs are we pay the higher taxes for wars, our kids who can’t afford college serve in these wars and that if we organize against the wars we get spied on by a government looking for terrorists.
As Bush gives the Elite Ossama family a plane ride home after 9/11.
As the unregulated Banks get us to pay for a bailout. As union car makers take paycuts and Bankers get bonuses.
Don’t worry the GOP gives the poor and middle class someone else to blame besides them Hispanics!
But that plan is not working there are not enough Tea Baggers out there to win an election so the GOP is trying to cheat on the Tea Baggers and recruit us, after all they said they think they can get us?
I think the Tea Baggers might be angry with the GOP if the GOP gets serious with this plan.
that’s Jonah emerging from a long stay in his mother’s basement, blinded by actual sunlight.
OT – Network execs whine about losing $30M in revenue during prime time prez conferences. Courtesy HuffPo.
They don’t want to do them? Fine with me. How about a bunch of lefty blogs live stream them instead. During prime time. We’d also have the advantage of knowing exactly how many people watched/listened rather than the ratings guru’s guestimates. Suck on this CBS, NBC, ABC and Fox.
An hispanic Ward Churchill would be…um…Churchillianoso!
I grew up in possibly the most Republican county in Illinois I can think like them…but it hurts te stupid it Burns:)
I do not see any way the GOP can pull it off.
¿Quién tiene un micrómetro práctico?
I think the prez should spring Leonard Peltier and make him head of the BIA, or as a Native American comedian calls them, Bastards In Action.
Maybe the GOP should try to recruit Speedy Gonzales himself, he’s a real go-getter. The fact that he can run real fast without his sombrero blowing off demonstrates that he is already more adept than any of the current Republican spokesmice.
On the other hand, since Speedy runs everywhere he must have a really small carbon footprint, which won’t go over well with Republicans.
They don’t like it fine on basic cable what if Hispanics had the choice to refuse to pay for CNN (Lou Dobbs) or Fox News (Glen Beck, O’Reily etc).
I see no reason why Hispanics should not vote with their dollars and engage in the free markets!
Sure we don’t watch these shows but we are stuck paying for them if we want to see KO and Rachel.
If Hispanic dollars are taken away from CNN and Fox just how low would their stock go?
If the GOP Main Stream Media hits us about Obama speeches we can hit them back in ways they never expected! hehehe Fire!
I only have basic cable because I refuse to subsidize things like Fox News or any sort of religious programming. I sometimes watch KO at the MSNBC website, which is available the same day it airs after 9 p.m. CST. Unfortunately they don’t post Rachel’s vids until the next day.
emptywheel is upstairs!
Breaking News!! CIA Manipulating Briefing Process!!
If ya don’t mind waitin’, KO and Rachel are online. No dinero required. After 12 June all my tube will be good for is VHS moobies. Sure wish F1 would live stream the Grands Prix.
Any word on that? The guy has served plenty of time even if he was guilty which I doubt the GOP calls Obama a friend of 60’s terrorists anyway so whats to lose?
We do get however the American Indian vote to come out for us in Western states we almost won.
hey rat- KO and Rachel ae available via VodCast about 90 minutes after air. They aren’t small, but they are complete and very watchable. PodCast digest via iTunes.
Breaking News!!, eh. To whom? Oh, a snarky title. Never mind.
Carry on. Smoke ‘em if ya got ‘em.
My basic cable includes Fox News so I gave it up. SD I do watch clips online but I borrow net signal. I am thinking we can use this issue to hurt CNN and Fox where it hurts their wallets.
No new word. He’ll probably end his time on our planet in prison. The Federal Bureau of Intimidation will never allow the truth of Pine Ridge surface. I love the way Hannibal Lecter enunciates F-B-I in Silence of the Lambs. I’ve looked for a clip in vain.
Haha! I learned my Spanish at Taco Bell, but I think I got that! :)
What the GOP needs to win is a gay man who hates other gay men.
Hey — it’s a Bonanza! Look who they’ve got to choose from: Charlie Crist, David Dreier, Patrick McHenry. TONS more!
It’s a win, I tell you — a Big Win!
Fox has already decided they’re not going to carry them so…. The big 3, however, would prolly be glad to be rid of the evening propaganda shows, putting more emphasis on the Sunday morons. The Depends generation is shrinking and when the young ones see Will et al they all go ewwwwwwww.
They’ve had those batshit-crazy Diaz-Balart (sp?) brothers down in south FLA for years now. problem solved, Pantload. I doubt the Balart’s would be able to give away free pork rinds in a homeless shelter though.
I’m seeing the Diaz-Balarts in South Central, doing their “Free Cuba” schtick from a low-rider with a huge speaker on the roof (a la the blues brother)… yeah, that’s some serious outreach there.
Essential Peterr upstairs!
Prosecution’s Opening Statement in US v. Bradbury, Bybee, and Yoo
How about Ruben Navarrette? It might keep CNN from posting his Malkinesque, self-hate screeds…
So, all the Republicans have to do to get some more black votes, then, is to have an African-American Ward Connerly.
Oops. They already have one. So how’s that working out?
She’s an oldy and a moldy and hasn’t been seen in quite a while, Linda Chavez. Of course, that will irritate the crap outta Linda Chavez Thompson cus she will have to go back to introducing herself as not thatLinda Chavez. But hey, she has all those great credentials of selective genetics and English as the official language of the US! That would be enough for Pantload to have a double pantload, front and back.
I wonder if Richard Ramirez is up for parole? He would be the perfect face for the Republican “raza”. I think he’s Catholic and he surely still has some name recognition in the western states.