Newt Gingrich: Thrice married, nouveau Catholic, terror fetishist and teabaggin’ enthusiast.
Mike Huckabee: Bill Clinton with neither the Bill nor the Clinton.
Rick Perry: Secession Enthusiast — timely brought up on the anniversary of Lincoln’s death.
Sarah Palin: Secession and spousal rape Apologist– Ideal parental role-model.
Mark Sanford: Governor of the Home of Secession.
You know what’s as popular in Iowa and New Hampshire as cannibalism and herpes? Secession. 2012 looks like a good year to be Mitt Romney, and a better one to be Barack Obama.