(Video: Tea and nuts)

As the right gears up for their great big public Tea-Bagging Festival, they’re getting extra-special frisky with their oddness and caperings. Gay marriage is worse than floods, and mass murder! Obama will take your guns and commands Americans to say "Sorry!" to Frenchmen! You gotta fight, for your right, to spankings! Rick Santorum wants you to know that Obama is nominating dangerous, dangerous maniacs to Lofty Positions, crazy people who believe the US ought to show "decent respect to the opinions of humankind," a notion that directly contradicts the ideas of our nation’s founders. GADZOOKS! What we need now is the Second Coming of Senator Joey McCarthy! Barack Obama is worse than the Soviets, worse than the Czar, worships the Mullahs, and — brace yourselves for the madness! — does not like nuclear weapons! And… get this… he "has apologized for the United States history with Native Americans and blacks"! When they should be apologizing to America! For some insane reason! (Actually I do sort of agree with the stuff in that last link about how Obama shouldn’t be doing what he’s doing in Bagram; but hearing a conservative complain about a president because "He has frustrated congressional oversight by the invocation of executive privilege" is more than just a tiny bit fucking rich).

But what does this all mean? Surely some revelation is at hand! Surely it is time to be taking it to the streets! Yeah you! Whoah a wommah things I wumma do for you! Taking it to the streets!

Hence the need for the Great Tea Bag Revolution of Ought-Nine. Now, there are some skeptics out there, like the Orange Devil and the Cerulean Cherub (who is looking very dapper lately), who think this kind of lunacy isn’t getting The Right anywhere in terms of, say, winning elections. But that’s absurd. As the geniuses behind the Tea-Bag revolution inform us:

On April 15th, hundreds of thousands of Americans will gather in more than 360 cities across all 50 states to proclaim their lack of confidence in our Government. We the people will shake hands, network, share ideas, discuss our frustrations, let some steam out, and begin to develop new coalitions and citizen groups.

April 15th will be Historic in nature not because we instantly changed the world, but because we set in motion a machine that will counter out of control Government and eventually put it back in the hands of the people.

Exactly. And their commenters are certainly getting the message!

Sent my envelope full of tea bag tags and strings to the White House this morning.

Truly, the Party of Ideas has returned.