“I’m ready for my close-up, Mister Jesus!”

It would seem that everyone’s favorite Republican House thespian Michele Bachmann has developed a taste for the spotlight and is now actively campaigning for her own sitcom. Remember when she called for an armed insurrection in Minnesota last week? 

"I want people in Minnesota armed and dangerous on this issue of the energy tax, because we need to fight back," said Bachmann.

Well, it looks like someone whispered the words "seditious," "fucking stupid," "lose your House seat" in her ear, because she went on record over the weekend to amend her idiotic statements:

"I want my people in Minnesota to be the most educated people," said Bachmann. "I want them to be armed with knowledge, so they can be dangerous to the policies of the left." (Emphasis hers.)

[Oh, isn't she the cleverest thing?  What a Shavian recovery! Now nobody will think she ever called for an armed revolt.]

Bachmann is so caught up in her new role as the Oscar Wilde of Wingnuttia, spending all of her time fomenting uprisings against global warming, protecting the country’s Puritan heritage, and decrying the creation of "reeducation camps," where those commie AmeriKorps youth will force helpless conservative teenagers to think about other people for a change, that she can’t be bothered representing her own constituents. The Sixth District in Minnesota, Bachmannland, now has the highest foreclosure rate in the entire state and THE REST OF THE COUNTRY.

Bachmann voted against five key foreclosure relief bills, including the Mortgage Reform and Anti-Predatory Lending Act, which would set standards for mortgages and reduce predatory lending, and the Neighborhood Stabilization Act, which would provide funds for buying and rehabilitating foreclosed properties in affected neighborhoods. She also opposed the Expanding American Homeownership Act, which allows more people to qualify for FHA-backed mortgages, and the Expand and Preserve Home Ownership Through Counseling Act, which aims to improve financial literacy. Bachmann additionally voted against the Housing and Economic Recovery Act of 2008, a law signed by President Bush that contained many provisions to assist struggling homeowners and also the only one of the bills to become law.

Paul Wellstone spins in his grave while Michele Bachmann pirouettes on stage at the Old Country Buffet, as the wingnuts tuck into their Salisbury steaks. 

P.S. I, for one, can’t wait to hear Bachmann’s angry, tearful soliloquy on Obama’s assertion that America is not a Christian nation. Should be award-winning.