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Inspired by Senator Blanche Lincoln (D-walmARt) who managed to get fifty of her colleagues to water down the estate tax by using the excuse of saving .02% of family farms and small businesses from the tax man, I have compiled a list of ideas for helping rich and powerful people survive the rigors of the inevitable class war that’s coming their way. Your suggestions welcome!

1. In addition to eliminating the "death tax," America will eliminate the "tax tax" on the rich. Inheritances from an ancestor who previously paid a death tax will be made whole by the federal government. This way, past death taxes are refunded to deserving heirs. With interest — at LIBOR plus whatever seems fair to Tim Geithner at the time.

2. Why should Peter Madoff be the only scoundrel to receive a maintenance payment of ten thousand dollars a month? Starting immediately, any High Net Worth person being sued will be granted a maintenance payment from the court in this amount, which will be doubled if the person is being sued for beauty or glamour services. Nannies who sue the wealthy will simply be deported, while the maintenance payment will apply to all the children.

3. To sidestep any more Congressionally-imposed executive pay caps, President Obama will apply a one-size-fits-all signing statement to all legislation: Banksters Can Pay Themselves Whatever They Want. This way, your Congresscritter can continue to vote for ever-more-populist pay caps for executives whose companies receive federal aid without hurting those executives’ bottom lines. Nancy Pelosi and Barney Frank can continue to talk tough without offending big DCCC donors.

4. American Idol will introduce new VIP call lines so rich & powerful folks don’t get a busy signal. Also, their votes will count 10x. If they find this system pleasing, it will be implemented nationwide for the 2010 midterm elections.

5. High Net Worth individuals will be issued fender flags for all their vehicles, to exempt them from speed regulations, to permit access to special no-toll VIP freeway lanes, to allow urban double-parking during rush hours, and to permit hit-and-runs on the poor (especially homeless). The flags will be gold, with dollar signs (or stylized monarch butterflies, if that idiotic NBC drama opposite my Sunday night post ever catches fire).

6. Forget first-class-only lines at airport security checkpoints. Entire first-class-only airports will be set aside in every American city, with only first-class airliners permitted access. No need for rich Americans to travel alongside the poor and powerless.

7. "Mantis laws" will be instituted immediately to permit rich persons the exquisite pleasure of eliminating their mates after enjoying their sexual services. No questions asked; special 800 number to call for pickup, disposal, and cleanup. Now, every Rich American can also be a Rich American Psycho!

8. Bankruptcy will be eliminated for the well-heeled. If they still have checks in their checkbook, they can still write checks. And their bank will just ask the government to make them good. Their credit cards will have no limit, and they will never get a bill in the mail. This will be excellent for banks (since they can call it "lending") and also for rich people (since they can call it "stimulus").

9. Resources like water, fresh air, green space, pure food, health care, and leisure time will be restricted to only VIP-Americans. Any non-VIP who enjoys these restricted items will be jailed and, if lucky, deported. Powerless and poor Americans may be invited to partake of these delicacies, but should be aware of the Mantis Laws.

10. The Internet will be strictly monitored for defamation of the rich and powerful. Speech that mocks VIP-Americans in any way will be punishab