“Isn’t this the cutest kitten you’ve ever seen?!”

Given all the understandably angry rhetoric swirling around AIG’s ransom note to the U.S. government today, I was going to pile on with this questionable article in the New York Times about some modern-day Marie Antoinette types. But then everyone’s favorite hip hop RNC Chairman was thrust back into the spotlight this morning and my "ooooh, SHINY!" meter jumped 10 points.

According to HuffPo, Steele didn’t let his very public sqabble with the Leader of the Republican Party two weeks ago downshift his motor mouth when he guest hosted Bill Bennett’s radio program on March 6th. (No word on whether Bennett was off in Vegas NOT gambling…)

Anyhoo, M.C. Malaprop littered the airwaves with his thoughts on everything from global warming to political "Armageddon."  Some highlights:

On former President Nixon, who wore wingtips on the beach, and Obama, who hasn’t . . . yet:

What you are seeing here, folks, unfold is nothing short of the Nixon administration played out in a different era and a different style. . . . You have H.R. Haldeman and Rahm Emanuel, these guys, the master manipulators, the master controllers in the background, . . . creating an enemies list, putting together the targets on our side. The whole strategy of demonizing Rush Limbaugh, which has been exposed now…"

On political Armageddon (or sex toys – I’m not quite sure):

"I love this battle because what I see right now is leading to the ultimate political Armageddon between conservatism and liberalism . . . . That’s what we are lining up for you folks. So you better get ready, strap it on, because it’s coming."

Steele on World War II Axis leaders, Italian comedians, and unintentional irony:

 "Education is key. It is where it begins, for all of us. . . . If we understand the difference between Marxism, socialism and capitalism; if we understand the difference between a Roberto Mussolini, an Adolf Hitler, and a Franklin Roosevelt, and his honor the honorable Winston Churchill, if we know those differences than we can appreciate what these times mean."

I can see how he confused Roberto Begnini with Benito Mussolini. Just the other day, I confused Dane Cook with Dick Cheney.

And my personal favorite – global warming and Norse history:

 "We are cooling. We are not warming. The warming you see out there, the supposed warming, and I am using my finger quotation marks here, is part of the cooling process. Greenland, which is now covered in ice, it was once called Greenland for a reason, right? Iceland, which is now green. Oh I love this. Like we know what this planet is all about."

Psst. Mike.  Google "Erik the Red".  And while you’re at it, check out "geology".  You might learn something.  Education is key.

[bangs forehead on desk]