Ah, the “Terror-bull” Twos…

In a gesture representative of the Republican Party mindset, David Vitter got his Extra Absorbent Huggies in a twist at Dulles Airport when he showed up late for a flight, was refused access aboard the plane (as per airline regulations), and in a fit of impotent rage, stormed the security door:

Vitter, according to the witness, remained defiant, yelling that the employee could call the police if he wanted to and their supervisors, who, presumably, might be more impressed with his Senator’s pin.

The pledge pin maneuver was an epic FAIL for Vitter, who proved that he’s just another Republican bully who would sooner shit his diapers than stand up to someone who just might kick his ass:

But after talking a huffy big game, Vitter apparently thought better of pushing the confrontation any further. When the gate attendant left to find a security guard, Vitter turned tail and simply fled the scene.

So much for all those incredibly meaningful security measures the Bush Congress hijacked airlines into implementing after 9/11.  Y’know, the ones the Prince of Pampers voted "Yea" on.  

Vitter tried to wave off the incident, labelling the story as baseless "gossip." HOW-ever, the TSA isn’t as cavalier about breaches of airport security as Mr. "Let’s Arm Airline Pilots" Vitter.  The agency has initiated an investigation of the Senator’s actions.  Looks like Vitter’s infantile hissy fit could cost him a year’s supply of hookers and diaper rash cream.

The TSA Enforcement Sanction Guidance Policy . . . specifies that a $2,500-$6,000 fine could be instituted for "tampering or interfering with, compromising, modifying, attempting to circumvent, or causing a person to tamper or interfere with, compromise, modify or attempt to circumvent any security system, measure, or procedure." A $1,000 to $3,000 fine could be levied for "entering or being present within a secured area, AOA (Airport Operations Area), SIDA (Security Identification Display Area), or sterile area without complying with the systems measures or procedures being applied to control access to, or presence or movement in, such areas."

Stay tuned for what pearls the leader of the Republican Party will have to share about this.  When he squeezes his craptastic corpulence out from under his desk, that is.

 [security theater imagery by twolf]