Gnome

Unbiased Gnome

Ann Althouse… thinks about things, which never really works out all that well. For example, she has recently decided that if you think Bobby Jindal gave a lousy speech, you’re a racist – you wicked, wicked creature, you. How has she come to such an extraordinary conclusion? Let’s follow along! (If you hear circus music playing in your head as you read the following, never fear; that is a common side effect of reading Althouse, and can be treated on an outpatient basis.)

There is an awful lot of instinctive revuslsion towards Bobby Jindal… Expressed by Josh Marshall ("absolutely cringeworthy"), Andrew Sullivan ("Jindal’s entrance reminded one of Mr Burns gamboling toward a table of ointments"), and others.

Why are all these people so confident that they are not manifesting racism? There’s just something about this man that doesn’t seem right, that you don’t care to examine exactly what it is, but you know it deep down in your gut somehow. Seriously. How do you know this is not racism?

ADDED: Andrew Sullivan proffers an answer to my question: "Maybe because there is not a trace of evidence of any kind that we are. Unless comparing Jindal to Kenneth the Page or Mr Burns taps unknown wells of racist hate in my heart. I mean, seriously." I think deeper reflection is needed. Why the urge to paint him as a white white man? Where did that come from? Of course, there are unknown wells inside us all. When you have an instinctive response to a person of another race, why not seek knowledge?

Connoisseurs will recognize this as vintage Althouse. Some "idea" tumbles into the "unknown wells" of her skull, where it plops, splish-splash, into the plonky depths, like a Smurfette charm bracelet dunked in a Boone’s Farm bottle. Althouse reels down the bucket, pulls it up, and then pops her "idea" up still soggy and belching and giddy onto the Internets, where it is received with delight by her Chuckle Patch comments section, the solemn fatheaded approval of serial dingbat Glenn Reynolds, and the mystification of everyone else. Magic tits! Deep-fried vaginas! Hell, she’s even previously detected the N-Word in footy pajamas, so, Believe it or Not, and I wouldn’t if I were you, this latest burbling isn’t even her stupidest foray into the complex terrain of Racial Relations. Hooray!

And of course she then goes on to tussle with the Even-the-Liberal New Republic over the dark, perhaps even dusky, mystery behind why exactly Bobby Jindal got laughed at for delivering a shitty speech. (My own theory is that he’s getting laughed at because he gave a shitty speech. As a corollary, Barack Obama did not get laughed at because he gave a good speech. I am known for Thinking Outside the Box.) Anyway, here Althouse informs us that Liberals hate Jindal because he is Swarthy and yet Not Liberal, which is intriguing and explains why so many idiots have subscribed to her blog. There’s a thriving market for that sort of Neener-Neener Liberals are the Real Racists shit.

Which may in turn explain why Hip-Hop Conservative Legends like Michael Steele always have such a deft, unaffected touch when it comes to race, culture, and politics. Slum Love! Er… ahem? Uh… Yo? Anyone here up for a "yo"? The roof, the roof is on, uh, fire? Perhaps we ought not to contact the authorities about this particular conflagration? Yo?

Yo?