Rush Limbaugh has bored the crap out of me for decades now, the ridiculous tedious bombastic know-nothing fuck. But now in 2009 he’s apparently the Leader of The Republican Party! This shows that the GOP is as Cutting Edge, as, I dunno, Cutting Crew. Is he really the most exciting anal sex-obsessed junkie they could find to lead them into the the 21st century?

Apparently so. Apparently, if you’re a conservative, even an Elected Representative of the People, and you burble even the most anodyne nonsense slightly displeasing to this particular hulking tower of quivering flesh perched upon a famously leaky foundation, you have to tuck ‘em up and apologize.

It’s kind of embarrassing, or so you’d think. I mean, here’s Conservatism trying to become Once More Relevant, trying to Find Its Way — and the best they can cough up is… Rush Limbaugh? Master of three technologies ago? Are they afraid, perhaps, they might suddenly find themselves in ’82? (See video)

Well, good for them, I guess.

I don’t suppose it’s occurred to any Republicans yet that the reason Obama wondered aloud to them if they were really going to listen to Rush Limbaugh about, well, anything, is not out of any sort of fear of Limbaugh, but rather along the lines of, "you can’t possibly be serious about this clown."

Well, they are. They also think global warming is a hoax, the media is in the tank for Democrats, the Iraq war was smart, tax cuts are the solution to the Salem witchcraft problem, and all manner of other horseshit.

But maybe they’re right and the problem with Conservatism is an insufficient presence on Twitter. Who knows.