The evidence is in. George W. Bush is, it has emerged, a cretin. You may find this news surprising, even shocking, but despite recent claims to the contrary, the facts are clear: the man is an absolute doorknob.

Anyone wishing to argue that Bush is not a cretin faces rather an uphill struggle, in that whenever the man goes out in public, he acts like a cretin. Another significant obstacle would be that chief among his major accomplishments as a president are fucking up a war and destroying the economy. On top of that, at least 70% of the country thinks he’s a cretin and has felt this way for quite some time. This is a problem because for many politicians, getting people to like you and not think you’re a cretin is an important part of the gig.

But that doesn’t mean nobody will try to make believe that George W. Bush is "cool" and to be admired. Mere objective reality has never been much of a consideration for many of the people tempted to advance such a thesis before, after all. Here for instance is Ben Feller of the AP, pretending that Bush is Cool on the grounds that he gives people idiotic nicknames and once "even gave the German chancellor an impromptu, perhaps unwelcome [!] neck rub." And there’s more! He’s also petulant, bullying, and authoritarian! Now don’t you love him just a tiny bit more?

Digby had much the same take on this piece, but have we perhaps been led astray by some sort of subtle liberal bias in this MSM pro-Bush puff piece? It is not only possible, but probable. Let us therefore turn to this NRO piece by Byron York, a man of such bottomless compassion that he has designed his hair to be a wildlife refuge for homeless squirrels:

the president’s political fortunes haven’t affected the intense loyalty that those who know him best feel for him. The people who have worked with George W. Bush in the White House for many of these past eight years have seen a different man from the one reflected in so much negative press coverage. And as they prepare to leave on January 20, their feelings for him are, if anything, stronger than when they arrived.

Will the last cult members to leave the White House please turn out the lights? But as far as ridiculous apologias go, you can’t touch this:

Nonetheless, most [people who owe their jobs to Bush] anticipate that history will assess George W. Bush more favorably than today’s media and polls — provided history isn’t skewed by agenda-driven scholarship.

Which just goes to show that the signature achievement of the Bush administration lies in the field of self-deluded idiocy.


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  2. Ross Douthat: George W. Bush was a “Good” President
  3. Disgraceful: In 8 Years, George W. Bush Never Greeted Fallen Troops
  4. Flashback: Stockton, California Elementary Students Forced to Hero-Worship George W. Bush in 2002
  5. George Bush Personally Sent Card, Gonzales to Thug Up Ashcroft