Former Phoenix Suns player and NBA star Charles Barkley told police he was in a hurry to receive oral sex from a female passenger when he ran through a stop sign drunk early Wednesday, a police report states.
(…)
While being processed at the East Valley DUI Taskforce command post, Barkley told police, "I was going to drive around the corner and get" oral sex, the report states….
He then told civilian employee, "I’ll tattoo your name on my ass" if it would get him out of the DUI, according to the report.
Barkley was returning from the Dirty Pretty Rock Bar near Camelback and Miller roads where he spent about three hours with a large group of 40 people, said owner Ryan Jocque. The party included actor Jaleel White, who played TV nerd Steve Urkel from the 1990s sitcom Family Matters, and football player Michael Strahan.
Sir Charles’ reputation could probably survive the DUI bust, and the blow job, and even the bizarre and vaguely creepy tatto offer, but partying with Urkel? No way.
I’m telling you, if Mel Gibson had been returning from a party with Urkel when he got busted, Apocalypto would have never seen the light of day. Or dark of theater. Whichever.
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Hi Eli, His reputation might survive, but his candidacy for Gov. Of Alabama is another question.
454 hrs & 24 min
Good morning Eli! Happy new year
Yeah, if I were his opponent, I would just run nothing but Urkel ads. Charles’d be lucky to get 30%.
Happy new year, eg!
The real innocent victim here is Mike Strahan. He didn’t do anything wrong, but now he must wear the Mark Of Urkel for the rest of his life.
LOl!
hysterically excellent, Eli.
omg
707!
Mel Gibson? Who’s that?!
oh. THAT idiot. gives nuts a bad name.
yeah. of course i know who he is. just can’t even make a bad joke today.
laugh dammit.
Oh man.
Urkel? LOL.
Happy new year, everyone.
please, carry on. i’m leaving. honest…. thanks.
Digg is open
Yeah, I think I can agree Eli. The Alabama Bubbas could forgive the DUI but not partying with Urkel.
The fundies probably would not have been able to forgive the BJ though, so that would have given them a reason other than race to oppose Chuck.
Too bad, Chuck would have made an entertaining governor at least.
I don’t know. W got elected with a DUI, but Barkey was saved from the one offense we know to be a high crime or misdemeanor./s
Barkley was partying with Urkel? [Edited to remove personal insult] How sad.
I have had admiration for Barkley ever since he told the national “nannies” to stop telling him that he should be a role model for their children. He stated that he was a basketball player, period. He certainly does get himself into a lot of “situations.”
omg an Erkel highlights reel!
Happy New Year, Eli!
I see you’re struggling with your New Years resolution to be nicer to Eli in 2009
You’d think it would be… shorter.
Is there something terrible about Urkel that I should know? I met him years ago at the studio, at a party. Seemed like a perfectly nice young man. No airs. Somewhere around here there’s a photo of the two of us.
I thought that was what they all did between the purity ball and the wedding
453 hrs & 55 min
Watch the YouTube…
Okay. Did. Yes, he’s a nerd, a goof-ball, a big klutz. But that’s the character. Pretend.
I must be missing the joke.
I bet Jaleel made some good dough with that role.
Maybe I need another mimosa. Ha.
I think I’d rather party with Erkel than Charles.
Oh. Brother.
A reminder to commenters who may not be familiar with FDL culture that we encourage discussion of ideas rather than snide remarks about others in the community, thanks.
Yup, it would wreck Sir Charles’ status as Honorary White Man with them.
Yup and yup. He may have even been a halfway decent one. He reminds me forcibly of Jesse Ventura, who when he didn’t let his ego and his crotch get in the way of his brain actually was capable of some great things, such as getting the state lege to back light rail, despite the fierce objections of then-House-Majority-Leader Tim Pawlenty. (Of course, now that the Hiawatha Line is a done deal and universally popular, Smilin’ Tim, who is now our governor, wants to pretend that he’s LRT’s bestest fwend evah.)
Meanwhile, in New England the big story is of Boston comic Dane Cook and his half brothers alleged efforts to swindle 10 million dollars from Dane.
You know you are making some serious cash when you are getting bilked out of millions by your own family.
As for Barkley, he’s crazy.
-G
Just zipped through a couple of Erkel youtubes. Seeems like a reasonably fair talent for the silly shows on TeeVee. Barkley, on the other hand, was a pretty damn good talent on the basketball court (Though as a Celtic fan I have some questions about his playing) but sounded w a y too far right for me when it came to spouting his mouth off in public.
Frankly I am surprised at the BJ….. he seems to love himself sooooo much.
I have never seen or heard of Erkel before this post so judge only dance scene.. it is more than I could do that is for sure.
The moderator is more accurate than my conscience.
That’s perfect.
wow
That Barkley is a bold mutherfucker.
Urkel indeed.
Charles lives large, is good-hearted, plays by the rules (mostly), and is never dull. God Bless the SOB.
His choice of blow saved his bacon.
You’d think a kewl dude like Sir Charles could get a blowy-jay without having to get wasted or give a lady a ride in his car.
Ah, the things we don’t know.
It’s kind of refreshing to realize that, don’t you think? Good start to a new year.
Who cares about over paid narcissists? He deserves whatever.
What’s that old saying…”He’ll be okay has long as they don’t find a dead girl or live Urkel”
I think the public forum could do without would-be Alabama Gov. Charles Barkley.
As for Urkel, I bet he knows how Alfalfa felt.
you just KILLED your political career too
now do you see how that works ???
(wink)