[clears throat] Ahem.
I am using this online political forum to declare my intention to run for the United States Senate seat soon to be vacated by Hillary Clinton. I understand that Caroline Kennedy, for whom I have a high personal regard, has decided that she is qualified to serve the Empire State and should thus be appointed to fill the vacancy. Frankly, I don’t think that is particularly democratic, so I’m exercising my right as a U.S. citizen over the age of 35.
My fellow Americans, here’s why I think am a better "representative" of New York State than Caroline Kennedy:
1. I was born at Lenox Hill Hospital, right in the middle of New York City. I’m no carpetbagger, baby! In fact, I’m so "New York" that I can effortlessly use the word "fuck" in every grammatical sense, and all within one sentence. (I understand that this also qualifies me to serve as governor of Illinois.)
2. I know better than to order pastrami on white with mayo at Katz’s Deli . . . or get an up-close look at the water that those street cart hot dogs are floating in.
3. I have a fair number of friends who live north and west of Westchester County. Ergo, I understand the unique demands of "upstate" New York.
4. I know how to shmooze and schlep, and can differentiate between a "goombah" and a "guido". And I know how to spell "bupkis."
5. I am a classic New York sports fan: I assume my team is going to lose, even if they have an insurmountable lead.
6. I don’t have a family compound on Cape Cod.
7. The only thing I really feel I am entitled to is peace and quiet during my morning commute. To my job. Y’know, the one that pays me bupkis.
8. Most importantly, I want to kickstart my own political dynasty. Of course, this means that I need to start breeding for maximum long-term effect, though it’s probably a little late for that. I wonder if I have time to adopt some twenty-somethings…
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WT!
Hey, TexBetsy!
Also the White House Chief of Staff.
watertiger, do you root only for the actual NY teams? or also for the ones that call themselves NY but actually plan in NJ?
or my 14 yr old kid!
I can schlep, too.
After establishing residency in the State of New York, I am qualified to be Senator because of the sage advice of all the bloggers I know in that state.
In fact, I would happily join orthomom’s campaign for Senate if it ever gets off the ground.
Watertiger for Senate!
woohoo – i wanna hear watertiger rawr in the senate.
besides, i wanna hear fuck you goombah said while watching cspan
I was born in Maimonides Hospital in (whisper) Brooklyn, so I guess that rules me out.
Water/Tiger ‘08!!
Well, there’s that whole embarrassing “NY/NJ” thing…
But to be fair, the Nets are Brooklyn-bound.
Uh, watertiger? I think I hear the Ghost of Steve Gilliard. He’s saying something about the Yankees — and their fans.
Kenosha Kid for Sec.State!
707!
[looks skyward, gives Steve the thumbs up]
Suz, Alphonse D’Amato is getting wood now. Please…
Hey, WT!
Caroline is a constitutional scholar and will make a fine senator imo
Just for that I’m not going to make a very obvious joke about your #8 on the list…
Have you denounced SNL for their thoughtless portrayal of The Blind Guv? I understand that’s the hot ticket nowadays.
Aloha, WT! You’ve got my vote! ‘Course that’d mean I’d have to move there… Nevermind! Btw, FTFY!
That’s the most honest campaign statement we’ve seen this year. WT for Senator!
That was a very pregnant point that begged for a reply…! ;-)
Plus, while Caroline may have had Jackie, you have the mutha, truly one of the best.
OK, watertiger. You are geographically challenged, and so I’ll challenge you for the NYS senate. I was born in Buffalo, went to public schools, returned to NYS in 1970, 4 years after going to (an admittedly out of state) college. Did graduate work at NYU, have a house in mid-Hudson. And a ton of relatives in Rochester. I think I can outpace you on my geographical NYS diversity.
Les jeux sont fait.
watertiger, are you any good at arm wrestling?
put up yer dukes!
[LOL!]
but speaking french in public cancels out all your qualifications.
OOHHHHH we got a frenchie ovah heah. Hey Frenchie, try runnin for the goddam france senate whydoncha. This heah is Noo Yawk.
I bet I can take her. ;-)
(fizzie drink to TexBetsy)
I’m waiting for Sarah Palin to get into the act.
Well, I have my DNC-paid stylist coming over tomorrow a.m. to ready me for my first campaign stop, so I am going to call it a night.
See youse laytuh!
EPU’d from below:
Speaking of da shoes, you knew this would happen sooner or later. I seems to be sooner.
Watertiger Fights for New York
“WTF NY”
Night, WT!
You’re obviously over qualified! See Article I.
I thought it was a state law or something that if a Kennedy deigned to show interest in a public office everyone was supposed to genuflect and give it to them. I believe that if you check prices you will find that coronations are still cheaper than elections. So it’s really for your own good up there in New York.
g’nite watertiger – hope she brings them individual false eyelashes instead of those dayam caterpillar looking things
Watertiger – as a future international rock star I endorse your run for the Senate.
D’oh!
I really need to stop talking out of my ass.
Okay, now I’m going to sleep.
Nope. You chose arm wrestling before you saw my biceps. You are stuck with your choice.
Not in NYS. Effete snobs are only disqualified south of the M-D Line.
Aha, but I appeal to the ones who travel regularly to Montreal, maybe 50 miles across the border and far more interesting than anything else in that part of NYS. You obviously have no understanding of NYS politics. *g*
If Caroline’s interest in the job is a feint in order to stop her evil former cousin-in-law Andrew Cuomo from getting the job, is WaterTiger’s interest simply a way to keep eCAHN and TKK out of Hillary’s Senate seat?
Thank you, Hugh!
I’m fine with her wanting to be in public service via politics. I’m not fine with her starting in the US Senate.
And WTF is the idea that “well, she supported/endorsed Obama at a key time…”?!! Anyone else have a problem with this? I thought Senators were supposed to represent the citizens of their States. Stupid me–didn’t realize Senate appointments were meant to be political payola.
I’m so disgusted with both KO and Rachael Maddow tonight, I had to turn off the TV machine even before Mr Famous Comedian came on.
FunnyDiva
Al Sharpton sez:
About WT or CK?
Or in national politics as covered by the MSM.
I’m sure if it were Hillary’s choice, she would choose me. I was 3 years ahead of her at Wellesley and even though she didn’t know me, I’m sure she’d feel obligated to go with a WC sister.
Can’t call NYS uninteresting on the campaign trail. Sorry, but I am voting for water tiger.
That’s the last time you ever get invited to my BBQ. It’s pay-to-play, ya know.
besides, you have the perfect setting for The Gracious Candidate at Home photo shoots.
All I need is a dog, a husband, and a kid named Muffy.
well! in that case ….. hmmmmm ….. insert witty comeback here.
If I had a witty comeback, believe me, I’d be inserting it!
1. You don’t get to vote in NYS.
2. If you were able to do so, your vote is secret.
3. Therefore, lie to me.
LOL!
Invoke the name, see whatcha get!
Hey all you persnickety NYers – How come you elected Hillary, a non-resident, unemployed wife? A little favoritism goin’ on?
You can have my vote too. :)
dugg
The usual answer. She had no competition. So you didn’t vote for her, you voted against the other guy.
I literally can’t remember the last time I voted for a candidate for anything.
I’ll volunteer for either of the first two… I draw the line at Muffy, tho…! ;-)
What, parallel ‘cuz they both lived in the WH? Or ‘cuz they never before held elected office?
Vote early & often.
Need pic before I’ll commit.
I am not sure that I ever have.
(BTW, watertiger: You look way scarier than I thought.)
IIRC, didn’t Clinton start in the Senate?
Me too.
Fixed it for ya.
BTW it is “Les jeux sont faits.” French is especially gratuitous that way since neither the “x” nor the “s” are pronounced. In fact, most of what is in that phrase isn’t pronounced.
The Washington Post is reporting that Obama will announce his Secretary of Education and Secretary of the Interior posts tomorrow (Arne Duncan and Ken Salazar, respectively) which, in the words of the Post, “all but finalizing his selections for major Cabinet posts.“
Apparently, the Labor Department is no longer a Cabinet position.
Fixed it for ya.
Finicky, eh? ;-)
Good night firepups. zzzzzZZZZZzzzzz
Those sneaky French. Trying to pull the wool over our eyes by adding vestigial letters to their words. The trouble with the French is that they have no savoire faire.
We can arrange that. How long you need them for?
Well, it is not a major Cabinet post to the WaPoo. After all, it is just for those plebes and not the natural lords of the universe.
pain free sleep wishes tex
Wouldn’t need a pic if you were only applying for lapdog.
i thought the r’s were gonna change the dept of labor to the department of management?
or savoir faire either.
707.
As short a time as possible. I revel in my solitude. I might be willing to keep the dog, though, so make sure it’s a good one.
Aloha, Bets!
Not for the WaPo nor for Obama. Revealing.
Lap dog? Now you’re really pushing it…! ;-)
Nah. Department of Servitude.
Yeah, no kidding. Her opponent was pretty much Rick Santorum from Long Island by way of Vassar and physically menaced her at the first debate to prove how manly he was.
Besides, she couldn’t help but be an improvement over Moynihan, a very smart man who really should have considered resting his elbow before he got mean.
You volunteered, I didn’t ask. You may withdraw, though.
Trivia quiz: Who was Hillary’s opponent for reelection? I don’t remember and am too lazy to google.
and Caroline co-wrote a fine book about privacy law years ago, before it was a hot button issue. A Kennedy might just give the Blue Dogs (not Lieberman, of course) a better perspective. As much as I hate nobility and it can’t be Spitzer because we don’t have any privacy…NY could do worse.
It’ll actually be rather minor by the time Shrub’s done, and all the jobs are G*O*N*E
NY could also do better.
Seriously, I hate this business of making do with the LCD (lowest common denominator).
Spencer, mayor of Yonkers? (no wiki!)
An economy without jobs. Finally the labor problem is solved. Left & Right are delerious.
Really. Talking about lost details. I had no idea.
John Spencer, former Mayor of Yonkers…
Retask it to putting all those folks to work at public service jobs. WPA, TVA, CCC, and the rest of FDR’s alphabet soup worked pretty well last time around.
Earlier loosheadprops post had possible better candiates. They were already in elective offices, and mostly NYC-centric. That’s where the money, and to a lesser extent, the votes are.
But that risks Schumer-squared (which is what Schumer-Clinton was), i.e. Wall St tools.
TobyWollin & I love us some Maurice Hinchey which is the guy who represents my country house area in US House. His voting record is spot on for FDL, and we’ve never supported him, as he doesn’t need us. Chances for senate: nil to zero.
I like Byron Brown from Buffalo, because I’m a big fan of alliteration.
as it happens, I had something to say about that at the time…
wrt Hinchey: assuming Shumer would throw an embolism, were he considered…
Wow. Thanks for that. Rings NO bells, meaning I paid no attention, and that sez a lot. However, the guy’s had an interesting life. Multiple wives, with kids all mixed up from before & after. But no gay marriage, no, no no.
Watertiger will take Caroline down!
There will be a furious whining sound!
As she realizes WT’s goin’ to DC town.
.
Will there be a kitty in every pot?
as for kids, perhaps you can rent Trig and maybe Piper for campaign events, ever think about that?
Quite a piece of work.
Now that memories are being dredged, I do remember feeling sorry for him for being the Rs’ sacrificial lamb.
I’m fading here. Take care and stay warm (currently -5 in the northern Rockies and dropping fast).
Yeah, but then there was his opponent…
That last race was one for the ages. If only the Queens/LI/SI bund wasn’t so pitifully weak right now, we could count on equally viable Republican candidates for the next one.
To the tune of Handel’s “Hallelujah Chorus”:
Bleeeeep the Yankees!
Bleeeeeep the Yankees!
Bleep the Yankees!
Bleep the Yankees!
Bleep the Yankees, oh-oh-yeaaaah!
g’nite dr dick (23.2 and dropping fast here too)
G’night, Dr. Dick. 72 here, sitting here with my doors open.
Aloha, DD!
Uh. Mah. Gawd.
Did they clone D’Amato, or what?
Quite a spectable of impotence & incompetence & stupidity.
not “Bleep the bleeping yankees”?
what he said
setting glare to stun
not sure what you’re referring to but that in itself is a spectacle
Suzanne,
I love it when you set glare to stun…
Spencer, Hillary’s opponent in 2nd senate run.
Yeah. It was the last race I really enjoyed.
That’s even warmer than here in the Isles…! ;-)
“Race” being some sort of metaphor.
o.
It’s supposed to be like that here for the rest of the week, then a cold snap this weekend. Should go down…to the mid-40’s (low).
I know. It’s the only thing about this place that makes it livable.
OK. Time to hit the hay for me. Gnite everyone.
g’nite candidate ecahn
‘nite, eCAHN.
Well, it was the last election I took part in it was hard for even me to feel ambivalent about…
Aloha, eCAHN!
I’m going for the price on Watertiger.
Kennedy, this ain’t your night.
;>)
I want the U.S. Senate seat from NY! I was born in New York City and lived across the street for awhile from the original chocolate egg cream place. I have driven on the New York State Thruway and have friends and relatives all over the state. I have ridden on the roller coaster at Coney Island. And there’s not a fucking chance in hell that I’ll vote any way but for the people.
Hello everybody! I’m finally back online. After my computer crashing, a false start with a lenovo laptop, I’m now trying to find my way around the iMac i brought home two days ago. According to the temperature on my desktop’s “dashboard” it’s 26 in Austin right now.
Congrats!
Can you assure me that you also have summered in Jones Beach? I’ll vote for you!
hey db
welcome back gw
night eCAHN
sweet dreams
Heh, naturally, since it’s a mac, eh? ;-)
YAY!
Lenovo – variety of tangerine?
Lenovo – strain of influenza?
Lenovo – model of Chinese hybrid automobile?
puleeze! i grew up 20 minutes from jones beach and was there every day in the summers. and when i would get too impatient waiting for summer (usually around march or so), i’d drive the car to the beach, put on the heater full blast, run into the ocean for a swim and scurry back to the car.
and every visit back, i go to the beach every day.
i’m so glad i have your vote.
Good to see you, greenwarrior.
Well Morpheus has arrived, so off we go..
buenos noches amigos mios
g’nite ellie (and any other leaving sleepy pups i may have missed)
nite elliott
Nope, this…
Aloha, GW, glad to see ya back…! ;-)
Wonderful! My grandparents took me there every summer. Later, Rehobeth and Lewes beaches as a teen. Is there life without beach?
Hi S. Still playing in the snow?
;>)
it’s been a bit of a bumpy start. yesterday morning i was on the phone for 4 hours with techs before i had internet and was able to send an email.
today it was 2 hours to work out password issues for a software update.
maybe tomorrow i’ll have the courage to plug in the printer and scanner and see how that goes.
Welcome to JobsWorld!
nope, am inside wearing multiple layers on top of my multiple layers. i’m starting to look like the pillsbury dough boy but i am warm. i plan on staying inside :)
Easier than you think, and lots of help.
uh oh! what’s JobsWorld?
Hey Suzanne,
We learned the beauty of flannel sheets a few years ago. Wow, one can feel so warm in a cold room!
JobsWorld
unfortunately, i’m not spending all my time in bed
tis quite toasty under down with both critters
Hey Newt! Love the JobsWorld, but can’t play. Still Dell Inspiron here (3 years old) and battery died last week. Mr. CE ordered and got a laptop lid instead of the replacement battery. Finally after 50 minutes on the phone to India, a great battery super-charged arrived. Faster and better than ever.
late late nite upstairs
Resistance is futile, Chris.
watertiger gets my CA vote.
6. I don’t have a family compound on Cape Cod
…we’ll settle for a compound family and a cawed caper.
Wait…..You’re over 35??
But, but, in the bar last night you said you was 27….
Seconded.
As Publisher of Group News Blog and keeper of the flame of all things Steve Gilliard, I have never and I will never say, “Steve would say…” I DON’T know what Gilly would say. Plus, it simply wouldn’t be right.
I will point out however, with reference to sports teams in New York, that Gilly has been quoted, long and extensively in this regards. So while I won’t speculate as to what he would say, I can tell you that he has said, repeatedly,
“FUCK THE YANKEES. FUCK THE YANKEES. FUCK THE FUCKING YANKEES.”
Thank you. *smiles sweetly*
yeah, fuck ny pretenders, those fucking fucks!
You’re also a lawyer, which legislators really should be.
And feel free to adopt any or all of the spawn of Liberal Mountain. They’re a fair start to a dynasty.
Wait a second. CK is LCD?
When did this become HillaryIs(not)44?