One well-connected Republican in the private sector was shocked to get calls and resumes in the past few days from what he said were senior McCain aides — a breach of custom for even the worst-off campaigns.
Yeesh. If that’s your best foot forward, taking responsibility for the McCain debacle, you might just want to, well, lie, and instead put down "Learned Lotus 1-2-3 in prison after conviction for buggering underage goats." If you’re a GOP operative in the first place this lie will probably have the added benefit of soon coming true, anyhow.
Which brings us by abrupt transition to the jackass who calls himself "The Wolf" on the "Blackfive" blog. Now, experts agree that if you call yourself "The Wolf" that is prima facie evidence that you are an egregious douchebag; but then, Mr.T. Wolf manages to go above and beyond the call of blog-standard fuckwit douchebaggery in this podcast conducted with his blog-mate, Uncle Jimbo, who is generally conceded to be a spectacularly egregious fuckwit douchebag his own right.
And why is this podcast a particularly fuckwittish, douchbagesque piece of fuckwit douchebagging? Oh, let us explore. This is all great stuff.
1. It is, as noted, a conversation between "Uncle Jimbo" and "The Wolf." We really need not proceed further for comedy purposes, but shall soldier on nevertheless.
2. Uncle Jimbo says "I altered [The Wolf's] voice in post-production." Some real Ian Frickin’ Fleming shit there, boys. Well played. In the unlikely event that anyone ever begins to care about the ridiculous issue of the true identity of "The Wolf," that will prove an Important Safeguard.
3. The "scoop" that Mr. Wolf is revealing is that BARACK OBAMA SHIPPED HIS MISTRESS OFF TO MARTINIQUE OMG!!!!11! And Mr. Wolf KNOWS THE MISTRESSEZ NAMEZ!!11!! And THEN HE REVEALZ IT!!@!!1. Never mind that the name has been all over the goddamn internet for weeks, that the story itself is bullshit, and that revealing the name is assholish and juvenile. It’s a scoop! (Meaning, he has bookmarked "Google dot com.")
4. Mr. Wolf says that he got his scoop from Insiders who knew that he is "involved in new media." Which means he talks crap on the Internet like a tool. And that he has bookmarked Google dot com.
5. Mr. Wolf and Jimbo concur that the "MSM" has this story cold but is holding onto it because, oh, who the hell knows, something to do with The Illuminati or Mademe Blavatsky or the Rosicrucians or Barney the Purple Dinosaur or some goddamn thing or other.
Remember the 1990s, with Vince Foster getting shot by a lesbian Arkansas state trooper? Well, if you don’t remember, or weren’t there, or have deliberately suppressed these memories: brace yourself. Because we’re about to relive that decade, right down to the last idiotic detail. The attached video will perhaps help to jog your memories of that magical time. You’re welcome.
Related posts:
- Late Night: Why Are Conservatives Angry? Because Keeping Conservatives Angry Makes Fox News Rich
- Mitt Romney: Scrapping Totally Pointless, Costly and Unnecessarily Provocative Bush Missile Shield is “Dangerous”
- Progressives, Conservatives And Counterinsurgents
- Brave Conservatives Battle to Rescue Your Children from Obama’s Sinister Cult of Learning
- Breaking: Lou Dobbs Released by CNN
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Ach der lieber
The Macarena!!
Fucktardery.
Hi Thers.
DO THE MACARENA, DAMMIT.
mind => boggled
OK
the podcast is really wingnutty. i swear it’s a parlor game of who is the wingnuttiest of them all.
OK OK, if you insist.
Do we get paid extra for this?
Mr. The Wolf and Uncle Jimbo are, of course, cordially invited to kiss my hairy white ass.
I don’t need to watch, my Republican sister can recite the entire litany, including some that don’t always make the list. At one point she swore that in addition to being a closet lesbian, Hillary was THE Antichrist and Bill and Chelsea had an ongoing incestuous relationship. I tried to tell her that even if those things were true, it didn’t necessarily make them BAD people but she wouldn’t listen to reason.
You could always do the MACADAMIA instead.
Mandatory. Blog calisthenics.
Yeah, because we all know how the MSM resists any story that might cast Obama in a negative light. *sigh*
Like they wouldn’t. And use tongues.
Hey Thers
The sign-up sheet at my doctors office was full-up. I have to look elsewhere for my induced coma, lasting into the 5th.
Got any hints?
Note: I am allergic to psilocybin.
I agree one thousand percent.
I believe there have already been strategy meetings involving Hannity, Limbaugh, Savage, et al with Roger Ailes and Rupert deciding when they are going to rev up the Wurlitzer.
This is why the entire GOP needs to be designated a RICO enterprise and hte propagandists need to suffer the same fate as Hitler’s propagandists, EDITED BY MODERATOR
~~~ModNote: Even imaginary violence subjects your comment to moderation.~~~
Righteous.
They actually say that the MSM is going to run with this for months after the election to make boo-coo bucks off of it. Which is ridiculous, buit a shade less ridiculous than they usually get.
Yeah. Try some of what Kathryn Lopez is taking — Ambien & gravy, I think.
fuck – i am so outta the loop – i thought that was what mccain took – why is klo copycatting him?
me, too. I will save that story for late, late….
Yes, we’re in for a few years of rumors. That’s OK. I know any number of wingtards who have government jobs. I will just tell them that of course, they’re free to say what they like but you never know who’s listening, after Bush screwed everything up.
You just never know. Do you?
speaking about gratuitous rethug agitprop, why does PA McInsane communications director Peter Feldman still have a job after pushing that whole fraudulent racebait assault story out to every imaginable outlet after he knew that it was false?
Wonder how paranoid the wingtards will get. Maaaawwwhaaahaaahaaa!
is that why newt the grinch has surfaced again?
Hee hee.
You saw that Onion thing, Mccain’s staffers leaving him on the bus…?
Because McCrazy really doesn’t care.
*innocent look*
moi?
Nope.
Not gonna let them go crazy on our guy this time around.
Not gonna let it happen.
The BLOGS will save America from the fuckwaddery this time around.
Hillary couldn’t possibly be THE anti-christ, Dick Cheney has that title all tied up.
SNort!
I swear I’ve hurt my ribs laughing here.
One, albeit quite minor, reason that I wasn’t a Hillary supporter (although of course I would have voted for her had she been the nominee) was because I knew that her presidency would renew the tiresome, godawful lies that plagued the airwaves during her husband’s administration.
Now that Democrats are likely to win the presidency (although the Congressional majorities necessary to override filibusters will be stolen), the Republicans will return to doing what they do best. They’ll play the victims, engage in puffery and fake umbrage, invent and circulate hysterical lies in their echo chambers, and seek to undermine the workings of democracy and government.
Until we excise corporate influence from Congress, this will continue, since the reason they do this is that they represent the unAmerican interests of greedy corporations.
No, they are dredging the cesspool. It’s a coincidence.
That’s right! Unlike the last time, we’re here and willing to go hand-to-hand with those guys and anyone that tries to promote them.
It’s not like they have a deep bench of “not crazy ratfuckers”…
seriously true.
Put ‘em up. Put ‘em up.
Rs=Whiners.
Peyote?
we are rabid lambs and no one better fuck with us – we fight back
i was thinking maybe some of that $4,000/ounce weed they talked about in american beauty
One hit pot.
I hope so.
It’s not like Obama ought to be immune from criticism. But we cannot let the crazy stuff slide.
Sure, if I wanted to sleep til March.
Shit, all ya’d hafta do is open the bag and take a whiff.
I want some.
Oh, in this respect, if no other, they believe in recycling. Whoever won, it’ll be a regurgitation of ancient smears, only maybe with the names changed.
You’d only think you were asleep.
Right when my head was about to explode from all the bullshit they are frantically shoveling these days, a comforting thought took hold.
Their very desperation speaks volumes as to how much trouble they’re in.
Why would Bush blatantly inject the DOJ into this election, even after the SCOTUS has ruled against them just last week?
It’s because the ability to cover up all their crimes will be gone.
Just like that. Eight years of cover ups will be no more.
And they should be worried.
War crimes are very serious charges.
I understand the Judges at The Hague are not impressed by petty tyrants.
Cuts both ways. Would they have injected themselves so publicly if they didn’t have a plan to make it work?
Again, warm (Hellish actually) regards to Chuck and Di for another feckless and compliant AG.
Like John McCain!
Gather ’round, y’all… the Dr is in.
;~P
Oh, this is going to make the Clinton administration look like a cake walk. I mean this time we will have an actual *black* president. There will be blood.
and i think this thought just occurred to them
Let us hope you are correct because if justice does exist, there’s a bunch of em’ heading their way.
I really wonder what he’s thinking right now. His campaign looks like a Chinese fire drill gone bad.
and fraud, graft, murder, lying to a grand jury by not showing up, larceny, whoring, country-jacking, stealing elections, voter caging, voter suppression, lying to get us into a war, killing a major American city,ignoring the law generally, etc, etc, etc.,
…to name a few.
With Twinkies and Tootsie Rolls. Minimally induces insulin shock and a sugar coma.
I think he’s thinking “GARRRAH KILL!”
We used to have that in Oklahoma about the time Merle Haggard put out “Okie from Muskogee.” Home grown in the Arkansas River bottoms. 18 foot tall plants that would put you on your ass after one toke. $10 a quart jar for locals. $30 and ounce in LA (one of the guys raising it was a relocated Cherokee who ran with the boys in East LA).
Make that the Drs. are in. Hey there EDP!.
Awww, man, that doesn’t sound like any fun at all. Where’s that bag of ganja that was floatin’ around here earlier?
‘ere
There you go screwing up my beautiful thoughts.
But naah, this time it’s desperation.
McGramps is behind in all six states he has to win to even make it close.
Obama can lose Ohio and still blow him out the water by flipping Fla. Virginia and/or North Carolina.
Fortunately, Obama’s campaign doesn’t call me for advice and therefore is competing for every vote everywhere.
And I certainly join you in your ‘warm’ regards to those two knuckleheads in the Senate.
See mine at 60.
Oh, far out, man.
Oh, when I read Madame Blavatsky, I spewed all over my monitor. Now that’s a reference.
Personally, I loved the Rosicrucian reference. Haven’t seen them since I quit reading comic books in high school.
What happened? Did everyone take a big old hit of that prime Okie toke?
Always here to help.
George Walker Bush, thank you with all my heart! The only thing George has actually accomplished besides war and general mayhem, is a reawakening of citizen involvement in the electoral process. There is nothing quite like seeing apathy smashed to smithereens by a bunch of people taking their country back from those that push divisiveness and special favors for the chosen few.
Good night to all!
Oy! Toddler uprising.
i think so dr dick – lard knows what happens when those dfh’s see the cartoon later tonight
water pistols or super soakers?
Water balloons a twenty yards. 8-)
I got sumthin for yer toddler…
sleep all night
Gay-run-teed
;~P
Waterworks — no supersoakers. Outrage at waking up near midnight and being told to return to bed.
Had one of the best meals I ever ate tonight. It was a benefit fot the statewide foodbank network. They brought in half a dozen of the best chefs in town to each do a course. The freaking salad was one of the best things I have ever eaten (and I have eaten high end food in Chicago on occasion). Great food for a great cause (we have the fifth lowest household income – about 3/4 of the national average – and the highest rat of people working two or more jobs). My friend, who is their development director, put it all together and did a really excellent job.
raising future protesters is hard work thers
Sound like revolutionaries in training to me. Good job, Thers!
but daaaaaaad, che didn’t have a bedtime
Nice!
McCain’s never run anything in his life, he’s got no reference point for something run right.
This campaign may look just like he thinks campaigns are supposed to look from the candidate’s vantage point.
I’m sure Schmidt and Davis tell him every day that everything is just fine.
And he wants to run the whole country exactly the same way.
Ha! Earlier the 9-Year-Old filled the supersoaker & *gave it to the 4-Year-Old*, knowing that she would get in trouble with it & that he would therefore be in the primo position for dessert treats.
Infuriating, but I did admire the Diabolical Cunning.
Chaos by proxy.
‘thers children for sure.
ha! diabolical cunning is when mom tells them about the hop on pop game and how daddy loves to be woken up that way
Another week and the goopers can stop lyin and start cryin. They REALLY need a rest
Unfortunately, that is when it is going to get really ugly.
Hush you!
‘Night all
we aint seen nothing yet
g’nite thers
Night, Thers. Sleep well, ’cause the wake up call is going to be a bitch.
wicked evil laugh
…the hop on pop game and how daddy loves to be woken up that way…
You’d be chopped liver…! ;-)
Tell me what you guys think about Bush charging Mukasey with investigating the Ohio (?) voter registration “problem” after the Supremes ruled on it already. Are we in trouble here?
naw, just divorced
True…!
and there is always the self-defense position based on dad’s flush the toilet while mom is showering ha-ha
Yep. Remains to be seen what actually happens, but they are looking to cause trouble and you know full well that the Bush administration never let a little thing like the law or legal precedent stand in their way. For the record, the Supremes only ruled that the Ohio Republican Party did not have standing to file without dealing with the merits of their case.
Heh, ‘Fire in the hole…’ ;-)
Shit Fire.
Is it getting warm in here?
hey mary mcc – how’s your part of callyfornia
boring.
I would rather be in the bay area.
i gotta admit, mary mcc, i don’t miss it at all
I should say not. Look where you landed.
all right – now I am officially pissed.
Sarah Fucking Palin – off the rails, unhinged, lying, vicious, treacherous, possibly traitorous b***h.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/…..37851.html
I want her taken down – way down, impeached, charged with crimes in Alaska, behind bars, and out of my goddamned country.
I asked the same question to an Obama caller here tonight — he didn’t know anything about this…I said, you better check online.
Jeebus F’ing on a stick with ice cream on top.
What is wrong with these people?
I was just talking with Ron about Bush’s new voter suppression manipulation and he said that the public will not stand for it. I believe he is right.
We should be so lucky as to have Obama implement such a plan.
yet the r’s insist that red is a republican color and not a communist color
That really pisses me off. It completely confuses my students when I wear red on May Day.
But they are safe in the US. There were granted immunity from Sept 11,2001 onward.
They will have to be ‘renditioned’ to the Hague.
Off to bed for me. Too much really good wine with that dinner tonight. Take care and enjoy.
grab your candy corn – there’s a cartoon upstairs
LOL!
digg this post
No they aren’t..but, under the rules, the US must first refuse to try them for War Crimes..then the Hague has the right to pursue charges. Who is going to nab them and get the off to the Hague?
Cheney request an extra year or two of Secret Service protection after he leaves the White House. They are in jeopardy.
The thought has been for quite awhile that Paraguay is where Bush and co. were headed. He has a problem..the newly elected government is headed by an ex priest now. I don’t think that Paraguay is going to be the refuge for the world’s top criminals as it was for 60 years.
And those are her good attributes!
Liar liar. She’s got nothing to offer, so she tells lies that scared, ignorant people might believe. She calls herself an American? Ptui.
Big trouble..as I posted earlier..Palast and Kennedy have been warning people not to vote on provisional ballots because they usually are not counted. He also suggested verifying information on the registration. Here we go again, that means wrong address, misspelled names, etc. etc.
It is official…the President of the USA is committing voter suppression in plain sight.
Legally yes..but she wished the best of luck to the party that wants to secede from the US.
Why does she pass security clearance to be President when her husband openly belonged to the separatist group? Or rather, why does he pass?
I resemble that remark.
Hey, I’d forgotten that the folks behind “Macarena” sampled about two seconds’ worth of a song by the group Yaz called “Situation” (it’s the female laughter in the intro to the song).