Miss Ashley and her
miraculously healed face

By now, you’ve read enough that I don’t have to tell you the story of Ashley Todd (who appears to be a creature of Mssrs Rove’s and Abramoff’s and Reed’s College Republicans. If you’re new to this, scroll down to today’s earlier posts. I’ll wait) and her evolving imaginary Obama-supporting assailant out of wingnut fantasy central casting, and you all have strong opinions about it, and I’d love to hear them. The person whose thoughts I’d most like to hear, though, is the first man I thought of when Ms. Todd’s story started to become increasingly lurid as the day progressed.

I’d like to hear from William Bennett

The classic suburban nightmare: White yuppie couple Chuck and Carol Stuart go home to suburban Massachusetts from a birthing class at an inner city hospital. Black everyman, 5’5", 150-165 lbs., with a raspy voice and a ubiquitous black jogging suit with red stripes, abducts the couple, robs them, and forces them to drive back to his "home turf" of Mission Hill. There, with no witnesses, he shoots the pregnant wife in the head and her husband in the stomach, a surprisingly flexible move from the back seat. He then runs off to the sanctity of his crime-ridden, drug-infested neighborhood…

The country was stunned and outraged by this senseless, random murder of both mother and baby. The familiar call for the reinstatement of the death penalty was heard, and the Boston police, aware that the eyes of the nation were upon them, rose to the occasion by initiating what is affectionately called the "stop-and-search" method: the idea being that if you stop every black man within a ten-mile radius, you are going to find your killer much more quickly. Civil liberties thus suspended, a number of black jogging-suit-clad men soon turned up. One might think that perhaps the easiest, most definitive (and legal) method of identification would have been to show Chuck mug shots… but he was apparently too weak and then too emotionally exhausted to take part. On Nov. 15, Willie Bennett, arrested on other charges, emerged as the prime suspect—thanks in part to the fine work of the Boston police who had thrown his 63-year-old mother against the wall and trashed her apartment. On Dec. 28, a rejuvenated Chuck Stuart picked Willie Bennett as the man who most closely resembled their attacker. The case was progressing to its inevitable and just conclusion.

And then it fell apart. Matthew Stuart, Chuck’s brother, identified Chuck as the real killer. Now Chuck Stuart has killed himself, Willie Bennett was freed, and the whole web of lies is finally being exposed.

Matthew Stuart was the brother of the murderer, and he confessed to helping his brother cover up the murder of his pregnant sister-in-law. Which was a good thing for William Bennett, because at the time the newspapers were reporting that he was at the point of being indicted for murder.

It was unfortunate for African-American young men in the Boston area who resembled the vague description Stuart gave police that Matthew didn’t discover his conscience earlier.

As remarkably revealing as Ms. Ashley’s behavior in this situation was – karma’s a bitch, and now we know who she works for – I find this, from the Politico, even more remarkable

Seems like McCain just can’t catch a break.

Pittsburgh station KDKA reports that Ashley Todd, the 20-year-old McCain volunteer who claims to have been mugged by a black man and had a "B" carved in her face, today admitted to fabricating the attack.

Geez. Poor luckless bastard. His campaign worker wasn’t actually carved up by a hulking black guy. Can’t win for losing.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Serious Journalism. And he got the story from Drudge! Oh, and the McCain campaign.

Me, I kinda feel as if you send the law out hunting for people who are less challenged in the area of melanin because you figure it’ll get you a few votes, it’s not a woopsy when you get caught. It’s more like cosmic justice, or at least really, really good literary symmetry.

If you think of it as an incomplete forward pass, you may be Serious.

Please leave your own frivolous thoughts below.

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