Elitists beware!

When you have seven homes, that’s a lot of garages to fill. After the fuss over the number of residences owned by the two presidential nominees, NEWSWEEK looked into the candidates’ cars. And based on public vehicle-registration records, here’s the score. John and Cindy McCain: 13. Barack and Michelle Obama: one.

John McCain is just like you and me, not like that liberal, black elitist Barack Obama! He’s not a slave to special interests. He’s not easily manipulated by lobbyists, swayed by weekends in the Caymans and trips on corporate jets. He’s John McCain, Joe Six-Pack.

And since Christmas is just around the corner…

On the twelfth day of campaigning,
My supporters gave to me:
Twelve autos idling,
Eleven staffers lobbying,
Ten former Bush aides,
Nine liars lying,
Eight phony outrages,
Seven deluxe condos,
Six weeks of yachting,
Five golden parachutes!
Four Keating friends,
Three Vogue models,
Two marriages, and
The keys to the banking industry.