On Third

Photo by Bart Hanlon

So there’s this Republican running for president.  Ex-fighter pilot, mediocre student, a selfish, out-of-control hellraiser who got everything he has in life through Daddy’s connections, other people’s money, fawning uncritical media coverage, and a sociopathic lack of scruples or conscience.

Funny how that doesn’t really narrow it down, isn’t it?  True, there are some differences – being the son of an ambassador/CIA director/VP/President opens up more doors than being the son of an admiral, yet look who ended up with $100 million in the bank and more houses than he can count.  (Oops, sorry, married to $100 million in the bank and more houses than he can count.  My bad.)

For all the minor differences, the bottom line is the same: There is very little reason to believe that if they started from home plate like the rest of us, that either Bush or McCain would ever be campaigning for anything bigger than assistant manager of a used-car dealership.

Now contrast this with the Republican message that the government is somehow holding us back from reaching our true potential, and that the poor are simply too lazy and addicted to handouts to pull themselves up by their cardboard bootstraps and become filthy rich business tycoons.  Can anyone picture a penniless Bush or McCain doing that?  I don’t doubt that some people pull it off, but Powerball and professional sports are probably more reliable paths to obscene wealth than trying to push into the inner circle of well-connected deadwood like Bush and McCain.

Hell, forget obscene wealth – it’s hard enough just finding a job that pays a decent wage, especially if you can’t afford a car, or a babysitter, or a good interview suit, or a decent education, or if the job you prepared for is migrating overseas.  Republicans have no interest in building stairways from Poor to Middle Class, or from Middle Class to Rich, only in building lots of express elevators from Obscenely Rich to Inconceivably Rich… and nailing all the trapdoors closed.  Bush and McCain may preach the GOPspel of entrepreneurial self-reliance, but all of their "achievements" have been handed to them by other people.

Oh, and as long as I’m comparing the two fortunate sons, I would be remiss if I didn’t point out once again that both Bush and McCain’s carefully crafted public personae are not just misleading, but are actually the exact opposite of reality.

(h/t bmaz for the post idea)