Does this sound like a kid you know?
He was always full of energy. He’d talk constantly, and ask questions nonstop. He also had trouble focusing in school, and his teachers said they couldn’t get him to interact during learning time. He was always pushing, nudging, shoving, and fidgeting. It was hard for him to listen unless it was something that really captivated his attention, so you can imagine what bedtime was like!
Or does this sound like your parent-teacher conferences?
Starting with preschool, teachers complained: Michael couldn’t stay quiet at quiet time, Michael wouldn’t sit at circle time, Michael didn’t keep his hands to himself, Michael was giggling and laughing and nudging kids for attention.
Deborah Phelps has been very forthcoming about her extraordinary son’s school struggles (she is also now a paid spokesperson for Ortho-McNeil-Janssen, makers of Concerta, an ADHD medication). In a world where we like our heroes perfect (just before we tear them down) I applaud her for providing a peek into Michael’s upbringing. It doesn’t sound easy:
She will never forget one teacher’s comment: “This woman says to me, ‘Your son will never be able to focus on anything.’ ”
His grades were B’s and C’s and a few D’s.
It was a tough period. Ms. Phelps and her husband, a state trooper, were divorcing. She had just gone back to school to get a master’s degree to become an administrator, she said, and at the same time she had to be the 24/7 parent.
Michael grew like crazy, but not evenly — his ears looked huge, and when he ran, his arms swung below his knees. (He was on his way to being 6 feet 4 inches tall with an arm span of 6 feet 7 inches.) Kids bullied him, and when he whacked one on the school bus, he was suspended from the bus for several days.
It’s hard to believe that the beautiful creature who has surpassed every other Olympic athlete could have been teased for his looks, and been told he would never focus. (!) But Michael’s story, which is also Deborah’s story, gives me hope: that every child might find her passion somewhere, and that we can create a society where every child’s passion can find an outlet.
For every child, regardless of the labels society is eager to affix: You are not your diagnosis.



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For every child, regardless of the labels society is eager to affix: You are not your diagnosis.
Thank you Teddy for bringing this story to light. I know Obama is ADHD, he’s said he learned to have people around him to keep in going in the right direction. Sounds like that person for Michael was Mom.
Interesting.
I’m 56 and if I were a child today, I imagine my folks would be attending these types of conferences. As it is, my report cards all the way through the years were consistent in “[dakine01] needs to learn how to shut-up and not talk so much.”
I read the Times story on Sunday and immediately saved it for my son (who’s 9 and away at camp). I also liked the part about the tremendous focus that Phelps could show at times – practicing swimming, of course, and dissecting videos of his races. I saw my son in this, and I’m glad that he’s old enough that when he reads it he’ll see himself in it.
My brother is learning disabled, and when he was a child we were told that he would have to be institutionalized. My mother did not buy that diagnosis, and forced more than one public school system to create programs to serve his special needs. He obtained his GED with the help of a special public school program long since destroyed by the Republicans. He lives on his own in publicly assisted housing, works a steady job, and dresses better than I do.
Don’t listen to the diagnoses of experts. Listen to your heart.
Obama is ADHD?
I did not know that about Obama. I know that Thom Hartmann has written several books about Hunters in a Farmer’s World, where hunters can be likened to folks with ADHD and Farmers who are folks who thrive doing repetitive type jobs, very paraphrased. It’s an interesting way of looking at it, and as a former teacher it helped to inform the way I worked with kids.
Interesting post, Teddy, and thank you!
And now I am back to work.
The key is to believe in the kid the whole time, no matter what they say is “wrong”. What makes a teacher’s and parent’s life hard is not crushing the spirits of kids like Michael Phelps. Parenting/teaching is a whole lot easier with a docile kid.
Thank you for this Teddy – I’ve just been handed a pretty scary psychiatric diagnosis – on top if the ADHD I already knew about – and I needed that reminder.
Adroitly
Demanding
Head
Democrat
I have a close relation who was always in trouble at school for his attention problem and was kicked out of chemistry for asking too many questions. The dean of students told his mother then that her son would never amount to anything. He started shining in college, though. His doctorate’s in chemical engineering and he’s an extremely creative scientist at a major institution.
This is a lovely article, Teddy. Thank you.
“I know Obama is ADHD”
link please
???
I’ve been reading about ADHD kids being mistakenly labeled as having sub par intelligence when they very often outrank their teachers. Really, some ADHD kids are indigo children. I’m biased because my as yet undiagnosed hyperactive 4 year old is like that. Painfully smart but can’t slow down enough for anyone else to catch up.
OK Pups time to Digg this fine Post from Teddy and show Your support of the Lake!
if a teacher doesn’t like questions, they need another job.
How many kids have been put in a box with that “never be able to focus on anything” statement? It sounds perilously close to “never amount to anything.”
I was excited to read this about Michael Phelps, and I commend his mother Deborah for speaking out about his upbringing. It has always been clear that Michael was a special kid, but I never knew how special he was. Thank goodness he found his passion.
How true every child is an individual and as such needs individual help as they need!
I am so glad you didn’t “shut up.” You are a treasure.
That was Michael in SCHOOL.
See Michael fly Now!
ADHD is hard for kids, parents, teachers and other kids in the class.
But we are all not made for working in an office or running a business.
Thank God Michael had a parent who helped him find what he was good/great at instead of trying to beat it out of him.
We all have our “shine zones”. Find them and use them!!!!!
Sometimes what appears to be ADHD is actually an incredible ability to multi-process. For kids and adults like that the activity level is not a problem for the multi-processor, it is a problem for those around them. They are often labeled as ADHD because others in charge cannot keep up, and thus often drug us in order to cope. I know where of I speak.
I grew up with ADHD and was miserable sitting still too long. Figured it was being bored or socially anxious, turns out I just don’t want to stay still. Now I’m getting in touch with my inner fidgeter and always have something to play with. One of my daughters swears by silly putty for a fidget item. I think this is what drives pen clickers [not too much mercy for them though, if you please].
We’re still about a decade away from proper diagnosis and treatment – maybe longer for adults – but at least kids with ADHD arent stigmatized the way they used to be. And put me down for very, very pro medicine for the kids who do need it. Not all of them do, and yes there should be non drug treatment that goes along with it. But I’ve seen the meds perform miracles in very recalcitrant cases.
I have a cousin who is ADHD – he is now a scientist with NASA. Did just fine for himself.
He still doesn’t shut up.
Fortunately he knows lots and lots of good and interesting stuff to talk about. ;~)
Maybe if I didn’t have ADHD I could have made something of myself :)
You coulda been a contenda!
it has taken ten minutes for google to grab the claim above the Obama is adhd…
with no explanation
can we clarify that before spreading what some see as problematic before supporting the Lake in this manner?
“OK Pups time to Digg this fine Post from Teddy and show Your support of the Lake!”
Another lesson here is that we all could be more candid about what ails us, and not fear stigma, in a country with health care for all.
Okay, I have to chime in here–many children who are diagnosed as ADHD are actually sensitive to all the chemicals in their environment or have food sensitivities. I’ve had mothers nearly in tears tell me about their children being misdiagnosed for years, and when they finally got the right diagnosis of sensitivities, and put the child on an organic food diet, the child miraculously changed from being hyper and angry to normal.
Additionally, the views towards children, in my opinion, have changed in that they are not granted the same freedom to be themselves as my generation was. A lot of control issues.
Thirdly, I was never diagnosed, but have the symptoms of ADD and a mild case of dyslexia. I found this out when helping one of my own children learn to read. I got a book on dyslexia at the library and as I read, discovered my own cognitive disability.
Lastly, I am disheartened by all the kids on the ADHD and anti-psychotic drugs. I think it’s too easy to give them a pill instead of trying to dig to get to the root of the problem.
Dear Fern, thinking of you and your “scary diagnosis.” I hope you have good care and support and meds, if called for, to help you along with this. In restrospect, half a lifetime ago, my real life BEGAN when I got my DSM-III diagnosis. (Now it’s DSM-IV–time passes!)
Things get better. Really, they do.
Abkhazia’s parliament asks Russia to recognize their desire for independance.
Saakashvili has ham handedly ushered in the dismemberment of Georgia.
Idiot.
-G
We also have food allergies and asthma. ADHD seems to have some connection to allergies. Very interesting.
Clarify your point… what you are say is making no sense tome… it might just be me but…
You are correct, I think. Deborah Phelps, despite being a compensated spokesperson for a drug Michael never took, speaks very carefully about her son’s medicine regimen. Just for school, no weekends, no holidays. And I think she makes the point that parents need to be very involved.
Of course, it would be wonderful if our world allowed more time for parents to be very involved instead of having to work two jobs to stay afloat. But she also makes the point that these were tough times for her and her family: divorce, new educational challenges, moves, family upheaval.
I think she is very brave to speak candidly about these struggles. It would be so easy to be the conquering hero’s perfect mom, and the media would eat it up. Instead, she seems to be reaching out to those who feel overwhelmed: “me, too” is what I hear.
She sounds like a strong, loving Mom. I hope Michael does really well at whatever career he chooses.
Yes, Yes, Yes, Teddy. Single mothers in particular have it really rough.
Fortunately one of the earliest things I learned was that if I was going to be talking a lot, I’d better make sure I had my facts straight and correct.
For a long long long time, no one in my family dared to dispute me when I made statements of fact. I spent a lot of pre-internet time looking things up in the encyclopedias to show someone who disputed me.
And that included teachers and professors. More than once I had teachers say, “that may be correct but in this classroom it’s what I say is so not what Britannica says is so.”
I would comply reluctantly while losing any and all respect for those who taught in that fashion.
Great post, Teddy thanks.
Concerta is a great ADHD medication. It’s more expensive than some of its competitors, because it adjusts the dosage better over a longer period of time. That makes it less attractive to people who want to misuse it.
Wow, What a post. A friend and I spoke about how lucky we were because we had windows and could day dream some of are time away. Sometimes school is boring and some children just need an outlet. Luckily Michael’s mom recognized this. Now OT, I live in GA and just saw an ad asking why Ralph Reed was not investigated by McCain for his ties to Abramoff. The ad was paid for by Obama.
ADHD, HS dropout, GED, Ed. D. I says leave “Hey teacher, leave da kids alone!
Hey Raven!
Sorry, I saw him say this in a television interview a while back. I’ll look for a link. Its probably something the campaign doesn’t want out.
RAVEN! hiya. :D
yo ya’ll
OT, some unscrupulous psychiatrists will attempt to shoehorn ADHD patients into more serious diagnoses. That’s because the medications for more serious diagnoses are a lot more expensive. This frequently happens with Medicaid patients. The manufacturers of the more expensive medications often try to pay the psychiatrists a kick back through a variety of schemes.
Psychiatrists Top List in Drug Maker Gifts
Per everyone else, good to see ya.
My ex and I have been dealing with this with our son for almost 7 years; he’s going into eighth grade and was suspended I can’t remember how many times last year. Every time I’d get the call, go to the VP’s office and sit down and the guy would look at me and just say “Don’t give up on him, I’ve seen kids like this just change overnight.” And I’d tell the guy I dealt with this my entire life and giving up on my son never entered the equation; it’s the school I tend to give up on until I met him.
I didn’t realize I had ADHD until I was in graduate school trying to organize a dissertation. It never happened. Until we had our kids and this diagnosis was made of my son I never considered that ADD was my problem.
If I hadn’t been through exactly what he goes through with school it would be easy to say he just doesn’t want to control himself, but I know that no matter how much he may want to control himself it just ain’t gonna happen. When he’s challenged with something he finds interesting like the physics of rockets or the beginning of the universe he can’t be more focused. When confronted with mediocre teachers who tend to label him, he shuts them out and gives them the exact amount of respect they deserve. I have no problem with that and I’ve told him that.
This is where our money should be going instead of that illegal, immoral war.
Per everyone else, good to see ya, Raven
Hey Raven.
One thing I know is ADD helped me excel in many chaotic moments.
“Clarify your point… what you are say is making no sense tome… it might just be me but…”
comment 1 makes a claim
comment 5 asks if it’s true
comment 11 is where I asked for a source for the claim
while looking for independent confirmation I found google was repeating the claim made in this post’s comment 1
i don’t think we should try to broadly circulate this post with an unsubstantiated claim… that claim (possibly twisted) could be fuel used in current political discussions.
Is this THE James? Semper Fi.
Obama was not the subject of my Digging the post but the ADHD issue is. Besides the subject of the post I
S ADHD and not if/whether Obama has same issues. By Digging this post you Do show your support of both FireDogLake and the Poster Teddy! Any discussion of this affliction is worth getting more people to discuss it. You never know who it may help.
Semper fi bro
My oldest child has ADHD, his story sounds very much like Phelps. Parents of ADHD have a very high divorce rate. And then you have someone like Michael Savage saying that kids need to be told to knock it off and straighten up.
Tried drugs, counseling, special programs, monitoring and worked evening shift weekends so that I was at the school during school hours. It is NOT fun and some teachers can make the problem worse. I remember the first grade parent conference where I was watching 30 some kids run amuck and the teacher telling me that I need to exhort some control over my son. And eventually the divorce….. I want to know why there are so many kids with learning disabilities now?
There are some children who definately need medication for them to integrate with their surroundings. For many more, the schools just don’t want to deal with any disruptions to a smooth flow. I put my son in a charter school for a few years when I got tired of his teacher insisting he needed some little pills so that he could walk in a single file line without cutting ahead or talking when he should have been silent.
I usually don’t give my son meds on the weekends or most of the summer but if there’s something he likes to do and he knows he isn’t focusing he asks me for ritalin.
katymine, I think a lot of it has to do with the blue and red dyes in the food and the flavorings, like msg, in things like doritos. I have cut back on how many times I ket Dylan eat fast food and his mom and I both limit his snacks to mostly pretzels. At first he was pissed with me but eventually he took it in stride along with no longer being allowed any soft drinks with caffeine. He tried the argument that his meds are speed so what’s the dif, but I wouldn’t bite. I give him points for trying, though.
I’m ADHD. I didn’t know it until late in life; I just thought I was too excited. I’ve achieved a lot in my profession, but when I think what I could have achieved with more focus and the same imagination, assuming I had the same imagination, I know I underachieved. Phelps didn’t underachieve.
oh my darling firedogs, big ol lump in my throat as I read your comments hours later – so many of you coming out of the woodwork and all of you so brave in your stories
I am not at all surprised there are so many ADHDers here – as I have never met a dull or stoopid one that’s for damn sure
years ago I would introduce myself as President of Ritalin Nation – 3 boys and a spouse, all manifesting the condition differently, all at different phases of their lives – I was either shaking my fist or laughing out loud in my moments alone with God
I’m with (((egregious))) – we are only starting to figure out what we don’t know – there may be no diagnostic blueprint, more like an umbrella like spectrum
I could go on all night (but I wont) about how 13 years ago a book {Driven to Distraction} literally fell out of the sky one day and changed everything for our family – but it led me on an info quest for which I am grateful – it has taught me so much about how both the brain and the mind function – wouldn’t trade it for anything
my thoughts and prayers are with all of you advocating on behalf of loved ones – God/Providence/Fate picked (((you))) for the job
james, I doubt you’ll see this but mad props to your advocacy on your child’s behalf
bingo! on the food additives – check out what the autism community is doing with diet
When you google it now the only reference is Firedoglake.
Other references I checked using slightly different search terms were entirely bogus and found on wingnut pages done in the Very Same Manner it Was Done HERE, i.e., an offhand comment!!! Wow!
So the source is Firedoglake as of this minute.