I know it’s only Tuesday, but this really is going to be hard to top:

"[Pelosi] is committed to her global warming fanaticism to the point where she has said that she’s just trying to save the planet," Bachmann told the right-wing news site OneNewsNow. "We all know that someone did that over 2,000 years ago, they saved the planet — we didn’t need Nancy Pelosi to do that."

Goodness, what a relief!  I didn’t realize that Jesus’s brief was quite so… expansive.  I thought He "saved" in an abstract, soul-redeeming kind of way, not in a concrete, miraculously-staving-off-ecological-collapse way. But I guess if He can change water into wine, then changing CO2 into oxygen and ozone should be a snap.

But why stop there?  He can use His loaves-and-fishes xerox powers to replenish all the endangered species, His healing touch to repair dying and contaminated ecosystems, and His resurrection mojo to bring back the coral reefs – and maybe some mammoths and dinosaurs, just because that would totally rock.  The Earth would truly be born again.

I really must congratulate Ms. Bachmann for her refreshingly generous view of Christian salvation: Not only are Jews and Muslims and Buddhists and atheists assured of a heavenly reward, but every other living thing on the planet is too – maybe even the planet itself!  Which will be a huge relief to everyone up there right now who loves animals and… standing.

On the other hand, maybe Bachmann just thinks that as long as Christians are saved, whatever happens to the rest of the planet simply doesn’t matter.  But what are the odds of that?

(h/t Blue Texan)