The Georgian Big Kahuna is asking the US to use its "clout" to help end yet another dirty little war between their country and Pootie-Poot’s troops from the Country Once Known As Evil. For some strange and unknown reason Georgian President Mikhail Saakashvili is asking for our help in ending the dust-up between his country and Rrrroooshya. Good luck with that, Mikhail.

Our State Department under the current incompetent administration: not so bad at making excuses, not so great at making with the diplomacy. However, put up a runway andprovide some whips and chains (no, seriously) and Condi will be there boots, leather skirt and all… FemDom Diplomacy is all the rage inside the beltway this decade. No guarantees of results but you’ll get excellent press coverage of Condi’s fashion sense and maybe even a piano concert out of the deal. Oh, and she does speak Russian… and she might even be able to find Georgia on a globe (as long as you tell her that it’s the one without Atlanta).

President Saakashvili says he believes the United States could play an important role in quelling an escalating military conflict between his nation and its giant neighbor, Russia.

And you know, I’d agree with the good man if it were any other administration but this one… even St Ronnie of Dementia might have had competent diplomats to dispatch with an equal number of CIA operatives to at least provide the appearance of giving a shit while setting up complex espionage operations; Bush 1 would have dragged out the rolodex and made some calls to see if there were something to be done that was a win-win for us, and at least given it the old Yale try while really doing nothing at all. The Big Dog, well, he’d a gone over and had a giant kuumbaya session, felt everyone’s pain and left Madelaine Albright to hold a second and third level yakfest while being disparaged by Tom Delay, Trent Lott, Chris Matthews and the Heritage Foundation for not invading (or invading) someplace on general principle… complete with non-binding resolutions and speeches, speeches speeches.


No, the Georgians drew Beloved Glorious Leader, the Jar-Jar Binks of American Presidents instead, during their struggle with the Land of Pootie.

"The United States and the world community should stop [the] intervention and invasion of my sovereign country," said Mikhail Saakashvili. "I think the U.S. is the most powerful country in the world.

Yo, Mikhail it’s a really, really bad time to bring up the whole "sovereign country" thing. Right now our beloved Codpiece Commandante is hanging out with other first-second-and-third-world totalitarian leaders acting like a bored ten-year old at a Stephen Hawking lecture. On top of that, we have the whole "well, we invaded a sovereign country too" thing and so the moral high ground that that fool has to stand on there is actually a fire-ant mound in flood waters and the really pissed-off warrior ants are starting to climb up his leg, he’s just too stupid to notice.

So, we’re sorry for your troubles over there and we hope that your war goes well, or at least as well as any war can go. Once upon a time there were legions of men and women in this country who served in the Foreign Service and who dedicated their lives to solving problems like those your country faces. Today, however they’d likely send over a kid whose resume was up on the Heritage Foundation website last week and who would arrive to tell you there’s nothing to worry about, Preznit War Lover looked in Pootie’s eyes and measured his soul and found him to be a good man. So everything will be okey-bedokey.

We have our own issues with illegally invading sovereign nations you see, and for a bit we’ll be busy trying to figure out how we can get ourselves out of that little problem. But best of luck with your war thingy, I hear that the Swedes and the Swiss are pretty good negotiators, and have not invaded anyone in centuries.