bicycle.JPGToday’s installment on bike commuting will feature some things NOT to do whilst riding a bike. If Auntie PW finds out that you have been doing these things, she will come and get you — and trust me, you don’t want to be got by Auntie P.

Number One: Talking on the Damned Cell Phone. Yes, pups, there are people out there who are so chat-hungry and dim that they must hold the damned plastic ball and chain up to their ears at all friggin’ times — including when they’re trying to control a bicycle. So not only are they distracted, they’re also wobbly. It’s even stupider than seeing idiots yakking away in their cars and being totally oblivious to the other car they’re about to hit. Hang up and ride!

Number Two: Wearing headphones. A good commuter is aware of his or her situation and surroundings at all times. Being hooked up to the iPod soma takes your attention away from where it should be: Namely, the road. Furthermore, the headphones, in addition to providing distracting noises, also muffle the things you need to hear — say, for instance, the sound of that very quiet hybrid car pulling out of its parking space behind you. A couple of weeks ago, I was on a bus heading home when I saw a cyclist who was so zoned out in his own little iPod world that the bus driver had to honk to wake him up!

Number Three: Not signaling turns. Car drivers aren’t mind readers. Let them know which way you’re going to turn well in advance (not just as you’re turning) by using these turn signals: left arm pointed straight left for left turns, bent with forearm up for right turns.

Number Four: Blowing stop signs and red lights. Now, I can understand if someone is at an intersection in East Forgotten Podunk and there are no cars around for miles and they know it. But most of the time, when I see people blowing signs or lights, it’s because they want to beat the cross traffic. Resist the urge. It’s not worth it.

Number Five: Weaving in and out of traffic like a moron. It’s rude, it’s dangerous, and it makes the motorists you force to slam on their brakes less inclined to cut any slack to the next cyclists they see. Now, again, I can understand doing so if you’re in a situation where you know that the cars aren’t going to be moving anytime soon — but you had better be sure of this. Don’t cut in front of someone who’s already in motion, capiche? Signal lane changes well in advance, using the hand signals just discussed above, just as you would use your turn signal lights if you were behind the wheel. You do signal your lane changes when you’re driving, right? Right?

Got it? Good. Now get out there and be traffic – responsible traffic.

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