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Veteran watchers of the Bush administration are coming to realize that all of the official statements these days are generally variations on a one of a very few themes.
Official Response #3: "No one could have anticipated . . ."
Both FEMA and the Department of Defense claim credit for the popularity of this phrase. FEMA's landmark work in New Orleans before, during, and after Hurricane Katrina is the gold standard for domestic idiocy, while the ongoing GOP foreign policy efforts in Iraq of the DOD, CIA, CPA, KBR, Halliburton, and a host of others (from both private industry and governmental offices) have made this phrase an international icon of ridicule.
Official Response #2: "I'm an idiot, not a crook!"
Generally, this response is not phrased quite so bluntly, but it appears in more benign forms, as it did in the DOJ Inspector General's recent report on Monica Goodling and the illegal political hiring practices of the DOJ under Ashcroft and Gonzales. As Charlie Savage recounts in his story on the report in the New York Times,
Ms. Williams [then the White House's liaison to the Justice Department] told the Justice Department inspector general that she had not realized that immigration judges were career jobs subject to Civil Service rules. Mr. Fratto [a White House spokesman] said there was no evidence that White House officials realized that at the time, either.
Read that again, more slowly.
Shorter Jan Williams to DOJ IG: "I'm an idiot, not a crook!"
Shorter Tony Fratto: "Us too -- we're *all* idiots, not crooks!"
Never mind that pesky "ignorance of the law is no excuse" legal dictum -- it's just a tired cliche, I guess.
Topping the list, though, is a classic . . .
Official Statement # 1: "I don't recall."
Many have used these words before, and no doubt many will do so in the future. But who can forget the legendary appearance before the Senate Judiciary Committee of the 80th Attorney General of the United States, Alberto Gonzales? (Shorter musical version here, and longer KO version here. )
I don't recall. I have no recollection. I don't remember. . .
I would be remiss in my duties if I failed to note a new phrase, rising fast on the charts as the administration's days come to an end: "Let bygones be bygones."
Never mind looking back at past lawbreaking. Don't bother trying to sort out who in the Bush administration (or who, under their orders) did what to whom in violation of US government regulations, federal laws, international treaties, or the Constitution of the United States of America. As the clock ticks down on BushCo, that "accountability moment" that comes every four years is looking mighty frightening to everyone from Bush on down, and so "let bygones be bygones" is sounding better and better.
Ah, the classic official statements of the Bush administration. If you have a favorite variation, do share it in the comments. They all get embroidered, embellished, and enhanced, but each one comes down to the same thing: Don't blame me!
Sorry Mr. President -- it comes with the job.
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Hi, Peterr!
“TODDI” -> The Other Dude Did It!”
Peterr! Say a little prayer (better make that an extra jumbo king sized one) for their souls (assuming that they have any). They are seriously going to need all the help the can get when they meet their maker. 8-)
“i don’t recall whether i’m an idiot or a crook, so let’s just leave it behind us and we march into a brave new obama future.”
The DOJ excuse - We have Regent University Law School graduates taking care of everything.
Oh, very good!
Of course, if you’re the president and all the dudes are *your* dudes, that doesn’t help a whole lot. It might keep one of them out of jail, what with everyone pointing fingers at everyone else creating lots of reasonable doubt, but it doesn’t exactly burnish Bush’s reputation.
They may need that help long before they meet their maker.
Exhibit A: Ted Stevens.
Ted’s going with response #2 — “I paid every bill they sent me, and if they didn’t send me a bill as a way to slyly bribe me . . . gosh, I didn’t even notice. I’m an idiot, not a crook!”
Hey. I forgot armed robbery was illegal.
(Steve Martin)
Two simple words in the English language…I forgot.
BushCo took it to absurd heights.
That’s a Hot TODDI
Official Response #3: “No one could have anticipated . . .”
Both FEMA and the Department of Defense claim credit for the popularity of this phrase.
I’d have to give this one to Condi Rice:
“I don’t think anybody could have predicted that these people would take an airplane and slam it into the World Trade Center, that they would try to use an airplane as a missile - a hijacked airplane as a missile.” (5/17/02)
Of course, there were “hair on fire” warnings about this throughout the summer of 2001.
At this point absolutely nothing can diminish Bush’s reputation any further. Nothing he does will offend those 24%ers. He could screw a dead boy on the white house lawn while burning a flag and reciting the Koran and they would think he was the second coming of St. Ronnie.
i wanna hear whattayamean ignorance of the law is no excuse
oops - need to correct myself. I was referring to testimony given by Haynes, Feith, and other vassorted human-like figures appearing before various congressional committees.
Should have said SODDI -> “*Some* Other Dude Did It”.
TODDI requires some specificity - my bad - got my defenses mixed up. Gotta maintain the “honor among
thievestorturers” thing, ya know.I certainly hope so, but I have little faith that the political will is there among the Democratic leadership - especially Obama, Pelosi, and Reid - to make it happen.
Theres’s an OLC opinion covering just this scenario. David Addington told me so.
if the president did it, its legal
“I don’t recall that anybody anticipated that I would be an idiot and not a crook.”
In the next few months, we’re going to see an explosion of
He’s/I’ve suffered enough!
“Suffered,” of course, = “quit to make twice as much lobbying the people who now have my job, but someone reported on the nightly news - once - that I committed felonies, so that’s punishment aplenty.”
And then there was the fictional plane-into-the-Capital scene in Tom Clancy’s 1994 “Debt of Honor” that killed the president and most of the house, senate, Supreme Court, and Cabinet. (The VP hero makes it out, just in time to take center stage in the next volume in the series.)
But yeah, other than Tom Clancy and everyone who read his best-selling book, no one could have imagined that scenario.
There is a ultra top secret OLC opinion saying IOKIYAR from which all the other OLC opinions derive.
Until they are sitting in Leavenworth, they have not yet even begun to suffer. IMHO.
No. It is not there.
so we will be seeing a lot of these before and after pictures?
They are not going to do anything. Period. Nada. Zilch. Zero.
if the president did it, its legal
“Or at least not sufficient to get extradited from Paraguay.”
Nixon was so short-sighted.
This one isn’t in the hands of Congressional leadership, but in the hands of the FBI and a rather upset United States Attorney and several Assistant USAs.
Soon — in September or October, if Ted gets his way — it will be in the hands of a jury.
I trust a jury to deal with this honestly a bit more than I would trust Congress.
As I recall thanks to Ally McBeal the phrase has been reduced to a more economic “Bygones.”
That seems to be the intention of the dems moving forward. Is there such a thing as Congressional Malpractice?
Oh, and an interesting thing that Jon Stewart pointed out—with the McShame commercial dissing Paris Hilton—her parents contributed to the max to his campaign. I wonder how they feel about that now.
“heck of a job” should go down in history and we shouldn’t forget “awesome” to the Pope.
Peterr, I think you have the basic set, from which all others can be generated.
When printed on soft cloth or paper, they’d make an inspiring flute swab.
Oh, they will go after Ted and any other Congress critters dumb enough to get caught, but I doubt anything will happen to any of the White House malefactors.
Ah, the Scooter Response!
Libby was the test case for this one, and it will no doubt make a much grander appearance from the podium in the WH Press Room come December when Bush hands out his Christmas pardons.
(When’s Marcy going to run her next Pardon Pool thread, anyway?)
“The Clinton administration did it too”
“I haven’t read the report/memo/indictment so I can’t comment”
“I can’t talk about an on-going investigation” followed by “That matter was settled by the courts so we’ve moved on”
Yes and they are committing it. The real lessons we should have learned from Watergate and Iran-Contra ********** they will just keep doing it at every opportunity.
~~~ModNote: Edited for content. Please omit the violent and graphic imagery, even if it is just imagery. Thanks.~~~
Ah, some classics there . . . along with the variation “while the appeals are pending, we can’t comment”
Is there such a thing as Congressional Malpractice?
oh yeah, and it’s available for free watching on the teevee every day. CSpan, ya know. Just not actionable, ’cause they’ve screwed everybody pretty much equally.
Peterr, well stated post and thoughtful. Thanks for getting out front on the new Repub/Dem approach: “Let’s all just move on to the promised land.” We’ve got to keep their butts in the firepit!
congress is wasting time with this political witch hunt while (insert name of threat/victim here) is being ignored
“The Clinton administration did it too”
Ooohh, that one hits close to home. My mother, a rock-solid Republican for most all of her adult life, finally reached the point where she announced “I have no party anymore’.
However, when confronted by any particularized argument, her response always default to - “oh Lord, jay, that’s been going on forever and ever.”
Me - “Doesn’t make it right though, does it?”
Since we have the perfect host here this evening, how does one go about exorcising the remaining vestiges of Republicanism from an otherwise hugely intelligent woman?
This partisan bickering must end.
-G
Someone (here?) invented this one, and I like it: The NOCHA Presidency.
No
On
Could
Have
Anticipated
“How can we legislate if we impeach?”
“While the appeals are pending, we can’t comment on the fact that our guy got busted and convicted. This is a change from our pre-conviction stance, where we proclaimed his innocence long and loud for weeks in an attempt to work the refs. You are not permitted to notice the contradiction. If you do, we will, depending on your occupation, whine that you are the liberal media or run an ad saying you love the terraists. Thank you and good day.”
“Presidential nominee John McCain” has been doing wonders for curing my brother. He’s not all the way there, but I’m hopeful.
The key to the exorcism is to start your responses to her with the phrase “Mom, you always taught me . . .”
Wherever it goes from there — FISA, due process, torture, DOJ politicization, war profiteering, etc. — she’s got to argue against herself before she can start to argue against you.
But no promises on the speed with which this will work. I’ve been using this angle on my grandmother for about thirty years. She’s a wonderful woman, but she *still* thinks Nixon was framed.
BushCo may forget but video tape remembers it all… Perhaps Bush and Cheney could share a cell?
A more politically-oriented variation on “let bygones be bygones,” and I shudder when I hear it coming from Democrats.
That has got to stop.
Digg it here, pups!
peterr, you play hardball - your mom taught you well :)
dugg and thanks teddy for opening it
Absolutely. As long as no one important pays any penalty, they will keep doing it because they know they can always get away with it.
Yoonitary Executive Privilege means, if The Greatest Polluter Guy thinks it, it becomes law. “The Constitution is a goddamn piece of paper.”
But it is my Goddamn piece of paper, and I want it back.
I’ve got to hit the sack, but I trust you all can continue the merriment and dissection of the greatest rhetorical hits of Scott McClellan, Tony Snow, Dana Perino, and the other BushCo Mouthpieces.
G’nite, all!
(I’m sure I’ll enjoy reading the rest of the thread tomorrow morning.)
When you hear that amoral dildo-huffer Dick Cheney talking about how brave Gerald Ford was for pardoning Tricky Dick, you know it is a loser of an argument.
I say frog march the mofos.
-G
Night Peterr. Sleep the sleep of the just.
g’nite peterr
Just like Bush does!
Standing on the promises.
I feel the same way.
ding!
Brilliant…….and sad. An old friend of mine taught me to say, “I’m sure you’re right”……and then just level the situation! I’m laughing still. For us oppositional types, saying “I’m sure you;re right” just sends us into a tail spin of , “The hell I am!”
It looks like it will be a barn burner in Israel between Tzipi Livni heading the Kadima Party and everyone’s favorite, bellicose warmonger, Bibi NuttyYahoo heading Likud.
-G
“Overthrowing Saddam was the right decision.”
I wish that were funny. Netanyahu is plum crazy.
this is in the news queue
No. That is the sleep of the soulless and conscienceless.
When you hear that amoral dildo-huffer Dick Cheney talking
about how brave Gerald Ford was for pardoning Tricky Dick,you know it is a loser of an argument.no need to get too specific when referring to “The Word of Darth”. *g*
Zombie sleep eh?
I don’t remember whether or not I recall.
Did I happen to mention here the opening of The Beach House: Relaxed Politics. It’s a combined blogging adventure with me, NDFG & Al the Spook. Stop on by.
Off to change my profile!
Sociopath sleep.
congratulations
How is there a beach house in Texas?
Just wondering why you chose that.
I live in Los Angeles. Now, We Have Some Beaches. :)
Oh, hi, Suzanne. Okay. You have beaches too.
Texas has many beaches on the Gulf of Mexico. Also, beach houses are inviting and relaxing.
You have obviously never been to Galveston or Padre.
Thanks Suz.
A popular defense in kindergartens the world over!
Ha. Ha.
Naps are also inviting and relaxing.
So’s a cup a tea.
I just think it’s kinda funny.
Happy for you guys, tho. Best wishes and all.
True enough.
true dat. and my temporary residence up near newport, oregon is very close to the beach… i’ll be a lot closer than my current 13 miles up the mt.
How is there a beach house in Texas?
details, details…
When asked at a restaurant (in Indianapolis) if I have a seating preference, I always ask for a table with a nice view of the ocean….
I am off to bed. Went hiking up here today and I am beat. Take care and enjoy the snark.
I just have to come visit, again. But, I’m not bringing my bathing suit.
My daddy was raised in Indianapolis. Was there when I was a teen. No beaches, ha.
Hi, Jayt.
Sleep well Dr D. Gonna go look at your pix.
better hurry up, escrow closes on 8/8 and i have to be out by the 13th
lovely eye candy dr no pause dick - g’nite
Does the claim of “executive privilege” count? “I can’t answer those questions because it’s privileged information…..could impact on national security….blah blah blah”…..
I cruised thru the comments and didn’t see that one mentioned, I may have missed it, it’s late.
But isn’t that another “Don’t blame me” tactic, ultimately?
I liked Greg’s comment (as I am always inclined to do), and feel exactly the same:
FROG MARCH the mofo’s!!!
And do we have a plan for if & when everyone gets pardoned ala Gerald Ford? I ask because we really cannot let that happen with this bunch. Not again, not ever, and most assuredly not this time!
Oh, no. I meant to visit the New plane in Oregon. :)
You’re buying a plane, right?
I meant Place. oops
oh, well the beach place is a temporary place while i look for permanent place to hang my hat - hope to only be there for a very short time. everyone is gonna have to wait until i’m settled into my permanent new place and am ready to be having visitors.
3. So?
2. Get over it.
1. Who cares what you think?
Bonus points: F**k you!
nope. i lost about 90% of my investment into this house. but i am walking away with that 10% and will be out of the hole i’ve been in - the one that was getting larger every month.
At one time or another, all of us have offered lame excuses for our failure to perform as expected. People in positions of power, whether in the corporate world or government need to be held accountable for their most egregious failures. This kind of accountability used to be assumed. You fail, you lose. This does not seem to be the case anymore (either in the corporate world or in government.)
How do we convince our missing Legislative branch that it is a good thing to pursue and correct misconduct by the Executive branch of Government? Apparently, the Constitution is not clear enough for some people on this subject. I don’t think that the Founders anticipated that Congress would ever cave in to the Executive without a fight. I know I’m disappointed by the pathetic failure of the supposed “opposition” party control of Congress. Elections have not delivered accountability.
How badly does the system need to fail before people take notice and demand a change?
Are we there yet?
hahaha - bonus points would, of course, be the dick cheney response
It’ll be a nice transition.
I can’t go anywhere right now, anyway.
Nice!
And welcome, wwiii!
btw, welcome to the lake wwiii. if you have any questions, just ask.
i’m looking forward to some down time. i’m way overdue and august in a place near the beach sounds just perfect to me.
Well, foxman, I AM. And it sounds to me like the majority of Americans are there with me (judging from the 06 elections).
And I’m not sure WHAT we do when voting doesn’t produce desired results.
We most certainly got totally screwed by the Dem majority congress we placed.
Sad, scary but most of all, infuriating!
Hey, wwiii.
I love humor. We need it sometimes.
My fave, “I don’t recall remembering that!” AGAG.
But then there’s the punch line for the whole mess. Nobody will be prosecuted because the laws that were broken were “civil laws” whatever that means.
Are you almost packed? Such a job but you get to throw out all that stuff you really haven’t used in years.
You certainly deserve it.
And, have I ever told you how much I enjoy Perfect?
Ted Stevens should have known when his house was being remodeled and raised up a story, that Bill Allen would do to him what he did. The Feds are about to release a lot of recordings and transcripts as part of discovery. I’ve got a hunch Stevens is going to look a lot smaller once the public hears and reads this stuff.
No wonder he wants the trial moved from DC to Anchorage, where reasons 1, 2 and 3 have kept the GOP in power here for 14 years.
i’m packing madly. i tossed out a bunch stuff when i moved up here 5 years ago and then a bunch more when going through the house before staging.
all i really have to go through is the stuff out in the shed and my clothes - sorting out what goes to donation, what i pack into the pod, and what goes with me to oregon. i expect there will be a dump run and a run down to the food bank with a lotta the stuff in my pantry.
hey et
ET!
“I’m innocent of all charges, and will be proven innocent.”
Right up until the time my deal is in the bag.
“and i have rolled over on as many people as i can because i’m not going down alone”
Try not to get exhausted so you can enjoy that beautiful drive to Oregon.