diva.thumbnail.jpgÜberparanoic Dick Cheney may be absent from the front pages lately, but that doesn't mean he isn't exiting the world stage in Greta Garbo style. Not content to start world wars, shoot people in the face and dress like an ice fisherman for state funerals, Dick Cheney apparently has a list of demands for his speaking engagements that makes J-Lo seem like an amateur.

WASHINGTON: Vice President Cheney's invitation to address wounded combat veterans next month has been yanked because the group felt his security demands were Draconian and unreasonable.

The veep had planned to speak to the Disabled American Veterans at 8:30 a.m. at its August convention in Las Vegas.

His staff insisted the sick vets be sequestered for two hours before Cheney's arrival and couldn't leave until he'd finished talking, officials confirmed.

...

Many of the vets are elderly and left pieces of themselves on foreign battlefields since World War II, and others were crippled by recent service in Iraq and Afghanistan. For health reasons, many can't be stuck in a room for hours.

The report failed to mention the other prerequisites Cheney demanded in addition to his speaking fees: the "baskets of fresh kittens" tributes, bowls of crushable "Arab" brown M&Ms in his dressing room, full body armor intended for some poor schmuck on the battlefield, and a giant siphon to suck off all the profits from the war.

I already know the answer, but I feel like I have to ask the question: Do these guys never grow tired of screwing over the men and women in our armed services?