When last we saw Wayne Campbell and Garth Algar, they had graciously agreed to do a special edition of "Wayne’s World" just for FDL in order to interview Bob Stokes and Rick Santorum. Today they’ve even more graciously agreed to interview John Bolton, who along with many neocons and conservative Republicans is strangely dismayed at the Bush Administration’s recent diplomatic successes with North Korea. Take it away, Wayne and Garth!
(Shot of camera doing a slow fade in to the sound of ’80s-style metal music; two young men in typical late-’80s metal head garb and hairdos sit in what looks to be a typical studio set for an interview show)
WAYNE AND GARTH: Wayne’s World! Wayne’s World! Party Time! FDL!
WAYNE: Welcome to Wayne’s World on FDL! I am your excellent host, Wayne Campbell, and with me as always is Garth Algar. Thanks to Fire Dog Lake and Phoenix Woman for another most excellent appearance!
WAYNE AND GARTH (getting up from their chairs and kneeling in front of the camera, arms outstretched): We’re not worthy! We’re not worthy! We SUCK!
(W&G return to their chairs and high-five each other)
GARTH: Party on, Wayne!
WAYNE: Party on, Garth!
WAYNE: Today our guest on Wayne’s World will be John Bolton, the former Bush Administration appointee to be the United States’ ambassador to the UN.
(Camera cuts to show John Bolton in seat next to Wayne)
WAYNE: Most sane humans would applaud the excellent results of the Bush Administration’s decision, some months previous, to can the belligerent pose against North Korea and actually try some, y’know, real diplomacy. What do you have to say about it, Mr. Bolton?
BOLTON: It’s shameful.
WAYNE: Whoah!
GARTH: Harsh!
WAYNE: Now why would you say that, Mr. Bolton?
BOLTON: This represents the final collapse of Bush’s foreign policy.
WAYNE: Well…. okay then. (pause) WAYNE: In the eight years he’s been in office, he’s mostly done things your way with regard to foreign policy — and now Iraq is in shambles with over a million dead and five million displaced out of a pre-invasion population of 27 million, gas in the US went from around $1.70 a gallon to over $4.00 a gallon, our economy is teetering from the debt you’ve loaded onto it from the war and from the tax cuts for the rich, and the rest of the world hates our guts. Maybe the collapse of that foreign policy is a good thing?
GARTH: Exactamundo!
BOLTON: They’ve now gained political and economic legitimacy!
(Wayne and Garth look at each other with puzzled expressions)
WAYNE: So?
BOLTON (mustache trembling): They’re endangering our precious bodily fluids!
(Wayne nods to Garth)
BOLTON (mustache really trembling): I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration –
(Garth pulls a baseball bat out from behind his chair and hands it to Wayne)
BOLTON (mustache vibrating so fast it’s starting to lift Bolton from his chair): — Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify –
(Wayne hits Bolton on the noggin with the bat; Bolton slumps back into chair, mustache still vibrating)
WAYNE: Warmongeringdoorknobsaywhat?
BOLTON (groggily) What?
WAYNE: Thank you. (to the audience) Well, that’s about it for another excellent edition of Wayne’s World. Keep on rockin’ out there and remember not to start any wars of choice, okay?
GARTH: Party on, Wayne!
WAYNE: Party on, Garth!
WAYNE AND GARTH: Party on, everybody! Wayne’s World! Wayne’s World!
BOLTON: …precious bodily fluids…
WAYNE AND GARTH: Eeeewwwwww!
(fade out)
Related posts:
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- On PDB Day, a New Direction against Terrorism? John Brennan’s Coming Out Party?
- Republican Gubernatorial Candidate Brags That Bush DOJ Wasn’t Corrupt Enough For Him
- Abuse Photos: Pentagon CYA with Oak Leaf Clusters
- Steele Decries Capturing, Prosecuting, Jailing Terrorists; Politicizing DOJ is A-OK





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Eeeeewwwww is right! Blech. I can just see the moustache trembling.
I look forward to reading your post about Norm Coleman’s latest antics, PW!
OMFG!
That’s hysterical!
I just threw up in my mouth a little
Heh!
HAHAhahahahahahahahahaha
and heres more comedy gold
DOJ Settles Hatfill Suit for $5.8 Million
Ex-AG Implicated the Former Army Scientist in the 2001 Anthrax Attacks
By JASON RYAN and THERESA COOK
June 27, 2008
The Justice Department has agreed to pay former Army scientist Steven Hatfill almost $6 million to settle his claims that the government violated his privacy rights during its investigation of the 2001 anthrax attacks.
hatfill
Former Army researcher Steven Hatfill holds a photo showing the interior of his girlfriend’s apartment after the FBI searched it in August 2002.
(Alex Wong/Getty Images)
In August 2002, then-Attorney General John Ashcroft named Hatfill as a person of interest in the mysterious mail attacks, which had further frightened a nation still reeling from the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks that had been carried out just weeks before.
The anthrax attacks left five people dead and 17 sickened after mail containing the toxin arrived on Capitol Hill and at news organizations in Florida and New York.
Hatfill claimed the Justice Department had violated his rights because officials there spoke to reporters about the case.
“Norm Coleman is Bush’s butt-boy”. – Al Franken, The Truth (with jokes).
IIRC, this is the same guy who was taking Keith Ellison to task for a few unpaid parking tickets. Whatta guy!
but Party On
Off topic…
Uh oh. A US soldier speaks out against Johnny McTeleprompter:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v…..&NR=1
Let me guess…Johnny will spin this video around to make himself feel better!
Especially if Pam Oshry’s in the neighborhood.
Anthrax attacks? What anthrax attacks? Don’t you know that Our Nation has not been Attacked By Terrorists since 9/11, thanks to the vigilant all-seeing eye of Big Bro…er, George W. McCain?
Eggszacktly.
Bolton is still pissed off someone stole his Bukkit.
OT I finally discovered how the NewsHour defines liberal and conservative this evening. Shields is the liberal because he likes McCain whereas Brooks is the conservative because he thinks that McCain is not conservative enough.
Who knew that PBS had such a wide and varied spectrum of opinion?
A most excellent interview. We are unworthy.
Ready for Cassandra Wong (Tia Carrera)now.
I don’t know why I try to watch that show.
Off topic:
I haven’t done very many kos diaries (not much of a writer) but after watching the feud on kos today I decided to post one tonight. I hope some of you will check it out and make a comment.
Greenwald Believes…Do You?
http://www.dailykos.com/story/…..992/543097
Saw him in person once. He is surprisingly small. Maybe that’s just his soul.
Keith leads with the Norquist remark tonight. Good for him.
I gave it up, since Hugh does it for me. Thanks, Hugh. I think you nailed it square on the head, once again.
I think it’s morbid fascination, not so much that they get things wrong but how they do.
I can’t wait for Obama to become president so we can have a Democrat appointing CPB members for a change. Bush did his damndest to ruin public broadcasting.
Grover from Sesame Street!
Lieberman and Wes Clark are guests on Face The Nation this Sunday. Please let them sit side by side.
welp, I guess I have to give kudos to PW for semantical incorrectness and blessing the soup with the title “Warmongeringdoorknobsaywhat?.”
I must say that you have displayed the most excellant consolidation of text, dudette.
I’ve been feeling confused throughout the primary season, what’s liberal, what’s conservative, what am I?
This morning, Ann AZ said she was leaving the D party again. I was inspired to do the same. I am now, well, once they get my form in the mail and process it, a Non-affiliate.
I’m starting to think I’m just a Progressive.
Taking that action today made me feel better about myself.
And hello to you too, dude!
and couple that with the understood censorship by the NewsHour’s big money sponsors (say like ADM, back when they were cornering the market in the essential amino acid lysine). We’ll never hear them discuss telecom immunity or excessive Big Oil profits.
hugh at 15–you shoulda heard them last week….i took notes—
sheilds—obama—not since nixon, flip-flop, repubs DO have money!!! (guess he wanted a publicly financed race)
brooks-sell out
AND tonight did you hear lehrer say in the news wrap ’insurgents’ attacked and killed americans? who are these ’insurgents’ and how come that word has become acceptable to use in place of ’armed combatants’? when did that happen???????? /s
and i watch cuz sometimes they get things really right……..they do. i write them whenever they do it right and whenever they do it wrong.
they had a report about new news sources, not funded by biased media people–was a great report.
propublica-real news guy heading it
and
the voice of san diego
sorry no links, haven’t checked them out yet….google.
i wish they would air the poem again that a guy wrote about showing the soldiers at the end of the show, it was sumpthin’…….i’ve read/heard a lot of poetry in my life, this one is in the top five. haven’t tried to find it since i heard it……will some day.
paaaaaarty oonnnnnnn , excelleeeent!!!
and i did a fllicker page cuz jane started the firedoglake people page on flickr.com, got me to bite the bullet…..i’m d128, dmac was taken…….i’m uploading wacky photoshop art i did from fire photos as we speak, not on there yet, only thing on there now is regular pics…….
Dmac, did you say this whole comment with one breath? LOL! How do we get to the FDL flicker page?
31
kay, well, yeah, sometimes…….it’s my brain, i can’t help it.
look it up your own damn self /s
no, here it is, now, my REALLY cool stuff isn’t up yet, just sayin’, flickr still loadin’ it, said it could take a while. and i’m still waiting to know if people can copy the screen before i load the REALLY cooler art and photos……
the stuff that is up is just me learning how to do it, with a camera someone gave me a while back……road to my house, kitties, me and callie, flowers……like i said, check back in a while…..
http://www.flickr.com/groups/776591@N20/
Reflecting on Bolton and Addington…along with the earlier post about the crew protecting marriage, yeah that was Vitter and Craig…I do not know how to say this that does not sound sexist: But where do these men get off? All that conservative DNA that would like women to shut up, or something…Addington and Bolton. What a contemptible collection of arrogant, superior, etc etc etc. I guess Ive said enough. And both Vitter and Craig apparently still have a wife who hangs around. What is wrong here?
of course I meant incorrect in the w3c sense of the word :)
,eh
Wives who probably have never worked – good wives stay at home, you know – and have no way to support themselves. Their self-esteem is so damaged they are scared of leaving.
Twain, you took the words right out of my mouth.
I certainly understand your point. But I think I recall that the Mrs. V. was a DA.
But what you are saying is the scary part; that the man has assumed that dominating, arrogant role as if he is so superior and not to be questioned, disputed, etc. I keep thinking we’ve come a long way baby, but Bolton and Addington somehow ring the bell for that prototype that has never considered another soul may breath. Then there’s Cindy Mc who may not work but can buy the houses; but hangs around. Just too much I do not understand.
Not so sure about Cindy Mc. Doesn’t she essentially run the beer distribution company as it’s sole heir?
Lehrer and Shields are giving old Liberals like me a bad time. They talk like they should be retired to some home for old brain-dead white guys who used to be liberal, which puts me under a cloud of suspicion because I otherwise resemble those guys. I mean, I applaud Jim Lehrer for his valve job (been there, done that), but that’s no reason to lose your edge.
Bob in HI
Change frightens some people – especially some older people. It’s the old “but we’ve always done it like this”
thing. I’m old and I love change. I would probably move every 2 or 3 years if I could just for the heck of it.
Olbermann gave Hannity worst person in the world tonight for his interview with Bolton. Evidently Hannity started the lead-in to Bolton by saying how great it was for the Bush adminstration to get the Korean deal. He then turned to Bolton and asked him about it. Bolton said just the opposite of what Hannity had just said. He said the deal was good for Korea and then Hannity promptly did a 180 and agreed with Bolton.
Too funny!
Olbermann also said that he’d have a “special comment” about FISA on Monday (he talked about John Dean and something about how Obama could have his cake and eat it too).
women marry men for as many reasons as men marry women.
women stay married to men for as many reasons as men stay married to women.
lmao.
Another addition of “as the tools turns.”
jane had a thread earlier today about the who misquoted whom olbermann/dean/greenwald thang……..
Yep, that simple and that complicated. I’ll have to shut up. Might have to note that Hannity is one of the biggest idiots on the air…says almost the same thing everyday and cannot make a correct sentence. He absolutely perseverates about Rev. Wright.
KO is getting pummeled pretty good for acting like an airhead on this one, so maybe he’s re-thinking his position. One can hope, anyway.
Bob in HI
Here’s a link to the video of Hannity and Bolton
http://thinkprogress.org/2008/…..flip-flop/
Hi PW. Party on.
I hope so too. Surely he’s not stupid enough to come back for more of Glenn. I posted a comment on kos earlier where I said something like – if you’re going to go toe-to-toe with Greenwald you better bring your A game and have all your ducks in a row and even then you might lose especially if you are on the wrong side of the argument.
Ron Paul!
Enjoyed the WW episode. Bolton is unbelievable.
Heard strong rumor Wes Clark looking good for vp for BO.
What happened to Mark Shields since David Brooks came on board? He lets him pop off grandiosely and never begins to slam it back. I used to look forward to getting his perspective. I still listen to NH to get my news.
AirAmerica celebrating “unity” today with BO and HRC. So what about Obama’s latest revelations… on FISA, death penalty, gun control … all under the we-must-beat-McCain-damn-the-constitution carpet?
Spencer is upstairs
idk, fuk tp
herez a gud roast of wallace
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=onNzrNEFs1E
Shields has moved so far to the right over the years! At one time he was a bona fide liberal, when he spoke on McNeil-Leherer, I would find myself shaking my head in agreement, but somehow he has become another sellout. I really believe older people (I swear this is not ageism-I’m rapidly growing old-to most of you here I am old!), they become more fearful of the world around them. I’ve seen it with my Dad and his friends, soldiers all-veterans of two wars. It might be from watching Faux News all day…
Where’s the sexist stuff?
Some strange chemistry with Brooks, too, though that I can’t fathom. Brooks has this crown prince status. I mean, chemistry is important for point and counterpoint commentary. Brooks’ tone of superciliousness grates on me. Maybe hard to argue eyeball to eyeball with? Maybe I am being an apologist for MH who must be worn down after all these years of insane inmates in charge of the asylum Bush control.
I agree with all that except the moving part. Moving just plain sucks. I got way too many books to be hauling that stuff here, there and beyond. Been there, done that. Suxxxxxxx.
I guess you’d have to say Hannity is a suck up kick down kinda guy.
Seems he’s a lot like Bolton.
southern, back a few years ago, i rented a third floor apartment, i collected rocks and books…friends lived on the second floor and their milaw on the first-they owned it….nice place, view of cincinnati…my dad and friends said, never again, don’t ask……….i then later moved to the first floor………same thing………most of my books are now in storage and have been yearning for them……..on my list of things to do this summer……place to put them and get them out of prison. at least 25 boxes of them…….not counting the ones already here…….and yes, i already went through them…..gave away so many to people over the years who needed a volume or two….it’s my genius uncle’s fault……
i told my mom the other day that i figured out where i can put two more bookshelves, my house now only has one big antique case, a wall wide……..my statement of glee was met with total silence, oh no, the book thing…..she reminded me how my uncle, her brother, fit many books in just one room, his library, and how he only kept his favorites………ha…….ain’t gonna happen…….
southern–one of my friends said that with the internet you don’t need your own reference library, i say bullshit, have you ever tried to find one single isolated fact on the internet since the early nineties????????
used to be only factual references, now, buncha crap bulletin boards to wade through to get one fine fact.
I gave a pickup load to the local library last time I moved. Four walls of bookshelves and stacks on tables, which the tigers love to rearrange. As in from table to floor.
I can’t keep up with the changing threads – Eli is upstairs.
Good one.
I had a history teacher in high school whose term paper every year was a research paper (he had a number of different ones to keep everybody honest.) Long sucker, about 350 questions. Had all year to do it and no specific number of required answers. Used strictly to teach us how to do research in a library. Living in DC, before high school students were prohibited from using the Library of Congress for that purpose, was a bookworm’s dream. The DC main public library was our main source, though, cuz the LoC was so huge it took more time to find stuff. It’s not about memorizing, it’s knowing where to find it. I use the intertoobz as a reference to source material, rarely relying on it as primary source.
eli up upstairs
Interesting, I collect the same items! Rocks and books. A friend of my parents from up there had an impressive Indians artifacts collection, he was from Wilmington in the really old days, pre-Airborne. As you have clear that you well appreciate the books are irreplaceable.
Books to many of us are an investment. I particularly enjoy buying them whenever I can from public library sales. One can find some gems there, too, often in near perfect condition. I’m not exactly sure what that says about my taste in reading material.
southern, oh yeah……..my mouth is watering just talking about it.
nonplussed and southern–oh my, wilmington is a wealth of many areas of history, must have been quite a collection. my former spouse wasn’t a reader or a reference person, former is the operative word, that’s how my books ended up in storage, am just now getting my life back in order that i am making it about what matters, storage is next……….most of my books are of that type, reference and classics. library sales are treasures that someone donated……..i quit going……i hate it, like driving by a car wreck, i won’t look…….last one i went to i brought home 5 bags……each and every one of them a gem……..i hate it that valuable books are ending up in the dump. it’s depressing.
with the lack of individual booksellers anymore, i hate to think of the volumes that are trashed.
when my mom moved my uncle to his apartment, they donated truckloads of books……truckloads.
he was one of the founders of the goodyear book club and the lighter than air society…..
when i was growing up, he sent books all over the world, and got books and letters from all over the world. he worked for the guggenheim institute, also taught me about shortwave radio, i used to think he was a spy……i know now he wasn’t. just an intellectual. taught me about atlases when i was 5……..i now have those same atlases and others he gave to me, historical, and others……..i am engrossed when i open them.