Diarrhea is like a storm raging inside you…

Number One: Oh the surge, the surge, the almighty don’t you dare deny it is working surge. Isn’t actually working all that well for it’s main purpose. Political reconciliation:

When the Iraqi parliament passed a law in January aimed at rehiring former members of Saddam Hussein’s Baath party, U.S. President George W. Bush praised it as a step towards national reconciliation…

But five months later, implementation of the law is bogged down by infighting between politicians, and the committee once tasked with hunting out Baathists in government has found itself in the odd position of overseeing the process of rehiring them or offering them state pensions.

The government has still not appointed a seven-member panel to replace the deBaathification Committee, whose enthusiastic purge of Baathists from government posts prompted minority Sunni Arabs to accuse them of conducting a witch-hunt.

Something that John McCain won’t be straight with you about.

Number Two: The guy who McCain calls "naive" and hopelessly inexperience in regard to foreign policy … an area McCain considers himself expert (just ask him) is apparently far superior, once again, to McCain. At least according to Iraqi Jesus:

They seem an odd couple: the general who engineered President Bush’s surge in Iraq, and the presidential candidate who has promised to undo it. But look again. Gen. David Petraeus’s broad new agenda as the likely next commander of Central Command (CENTCOM), which oversees U.S. forces in the entire Middle East and Central Asia, seems to echo some of Barack Obama’s views about the critical front in Afghanistan and Pakistan. Though he hasn’t even been confirmed yet, NEWSWEEK has learned that the energetic Petraeus is already informally involved in talks with the new Pakistani government, including its ambassador to Washington, Husain Haqqani, about counterinsurgency plans for the tribal regions, where Taliban and Al Qaeda elements still hold sway. And in his discussions with the Pakistanis, Petraeus has indicated he would add up to two additional Coalition brigades to Afghanistan once he takes over CENTCOM, according to a senior diplomatic official in Washington who spoke on condition of anonymity owing to political sensitivities. Interestingly, that’s close to what Obama has called for, as well.

Granted Newsweek somewhat distorts Obama’s position on Iraq and goes out of its way to once again completely kiss Petraeus’s ass — but no where is the name of the St. McSame mentioned in this paragraph. Oh my God, who will tell his fawning press corps?

Number Three: Remember all the outraged denials that the War in Iraq was all about … the oil, followed five years later by half-hearted denials and jangling keys in your face "hey, look it’s Reverend Wright"?

Well, S-U-R-P-R-I-S-E!

Four Western oil companies are in the final stages of negotiations this month on contracts that will return them to Iraq, 36 years after losing their oil concession to nationalization as Saddam Hussein rose to power.

Exxon Mobil, Shell, Total and BP — the original partners in the Iraq Petroleum Company — along with Chevron and a number of smaller oil companies, are in talks with Iraq’s Oil Ministry for no-bid contracts to service Iraq’s largest fields, according to ministry officials, oil company officials and an American diplomat…

The no-bid contracts are unusual for the industry, and the offers prevailed over others by more than 40 companies, including companies in Russia, China and India. The contracts, which would run for one to two years and are relatively small by industry standards, would nonetheless give the companies an advantage in bidding on future contracts in a country that many experts consider to be the best hope for a large-scale increase in oil production.

No-bid contracts may be rare in some industries, but certainly not for Bush friends and associates.

Oh, how happy John McCain must be with our media. I hear today MSNBC is doing an all-day special on what people wore to Tim Russert’s wake and how it might affect future celebrity memorial services. Pay attention Broderphiles.

Which is good because the stories above are complicated and require — like a fifth grade education and stuff.

(pic via AP Photo/Pat Sullivan)