So here's a puzzler: How do you write a book about a vicious, evil man like Dick Cheney without turning it into an offputting angry rant? Well, I have read the answer, and it is called Young Dick Cheney: Great American.
Instead of giving into their anger and being consumed by the Dark Side, Bruce Kluger and David Slavin, along with illustrator Tim Foley, re-create the style of kid-oriented biographies about the early days of great American heroes, and apply it to one of America's great villains. The result is, not to put too fine a point on it, hilarious.
Liberally illustrated (of course), the book follows Young Dick from his frontier birth as a miniature, fully-formed, growly-voiced plutocrat through his high school years as the powerful vice president of the student council - documenting his life as he discovers his love of war, oil, guns, dark blue suits, power, secrecy, shady political machinations, and Lynn Not-Yet-Cheney.
By way of example, here's a passage describing five-year-old Dick's ecstasy upon receiving an Official Davy Crockett Buckaroo-Boy BB Gun for Christmas:
On Christmas morning, Dick's wish came true. Padding down the stairs in his Wendell Willkie feet-pajamas, Dick looked beneath the tree and let out his biggest and happiest grumble ever.
"Thank you, Santa Claus!" Dick yelled, grabbing the rifle and slinging it over his shoulder, just like a genuine frontiersman. "Look at me!" he shouted. "I'm Davy Crockett! Remember the Alamo!"
Young Dick gave his father a great big hug, then shot his mother in the face.
There's plenty more where that came from. Lots of shooting people in the face, lots of heart attacks, lots of oil, mixed in with sly references to contemporary political characters and events.
The authors honed their skills as political satirists for NPR's All Things Considered, and conducted exhaustive research on children's literature under the clever pretense of being the fathers of young girls - making them uniquely qualified to chair the search committee for an author to write this book. After many months of interviews and Googling, they finally named themselves, and the rest is... well, something that sort of resembles history, only funnier.
Please join me in welcoming Bruce Kluger and David Slavin to Firedoglake. As always, stay on topic and keep your comments polite and respectful (to the authors, at least - you can say whatever you like about Dick). And if you haven't yet, please do pick up a copy of Young Dick Cheney, or I'll shoot you in the face you'll be glad you did.
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Bruce, David Welcome to the Lake.
Hi guys, welcome!
Eli, thank you for Hosting this book salon.
Eli!
Welcome to FDL Bruce and David.
Bruce and David, welcome to Firedoglake!
Hi all
Thanks for having us!
Greetings.
Okay, someone ask a question now.
*prod prod prod*
is Dick Cheney here?
May I say, Bruce, that I love that shirt your wife got you for Father’s Day.
Do you think he’d tell anyone if he was?
Huh-boy
What made you guys decide to do this format of a book?
Okay, I’ll start: How did you pick Tim Foley as your illustrator? Are children’s books his usual genre?
Wait, wait –we’ll start
Bruce, David, the book is wonderful and a laugh a page. What motivated you to write the book?
Dave and I are both fathers of young girls, so we’ve been pretty steeped in kids’ lit for the past decade or so. We also both contributed to Marlo Thomas’ last children’s book (and Grammy-winning CD!), “Thanks and Giving: All Year Long,” so when we began work on YDC, we were in a kid’s book frame of mind.
Much of our work on NPR satirizes cultural conventions, and frequently incorporates elements of politics. We’ve always believed that the most successful satire combines elements that seem to be contradictory, but actually have an undercurrent of similarities that can be absurd and funny. So in the case of Young Dick Cheney, we thought it would be a kick to tackle a very grown-up (and very wicked) character like Dick Cheney, but paint him in the kind of primary colors used in children’s books.
aloha back atcha, CT
We actually placed an ad in the Society for Children’s Book Illustrators website, and Tim sent us to his work. We felt like he got what we were doing immediately, but then went chasing around for other illustrators–none of whom got it in the same way–and eventually came back to Tim with our tails between our legs.
Between Dick shooting everyone in the face and talking out of the side of his mouth and Lynne, with her “best girlfriends, Chris, Pat, and Geoff” there were a lot of laughs.
Are you going to send him off to Yale and then back home to Lynne after he conquers the effette Liberals?
Oh Eli. THANK YOU! A MUST-buy for sure!
THANK YOU Bruce and David! Bravo!
I shall set a copy right beside my copy of the Teachers’ Edition of America by John Stewart and pile of Doonesbury books of a certain type. ;->
Unfortunately, Dick’s written the end to his story already. And it hasn’t been a happily ever after, has it?
So he really *is* a children’s book illustrator?
Also, are “Chris, Pat & Geoff” references to anyone in particular? I felt like I should have made the connection, but I drew a total blank.
Though I really would’ve liked to have covered his DUIs.
Tiom as done a little of everything — kids’ magaizne. Grown-up’s pubs. And he recently designed an entire (gorgeous) fantasy board game that will be out this christmas…
but to answer your question about Lynne….
Yeah, most of the references were fairly obvious but that one escaped me as well…
You have no idea how therapeutic laughing is for those with a tear in the eye most of the time. Or, maybe you do. Anyway, this is a very important book, imho.
Chris, Pat and Geoff are just foils — they’re not based anyone real. Rather, they were a device that we used to underscore the outrageous sexual hypocrisy of the real Lynne Cheney
Thanks, Adie. We thrive off comments like yours.
Do Lynne and Scooter get together to write some breathtaking prose that Chris, Pat, and Geoff can all enjoy?
I actually just thought the name “Geoff” sounded funny.
Dick who?
That’s a relief. I was wracking my brain trying to figure out who Geoff would be.
[Hey, dave — I’m lovin’ Adie.]
It *is* nice to read a liberal book that doesn’t make you think, “OMG! It’s even worse than I imagined!”
“Wagons ‘Ho 2!”
One other thing abiout the book’s format: We also tried to make the book adhere very much to the kids books of the real Dick Cheney’s era (like all those books kids were force-fed in elementary school — “Young Abe Lincoln,” “Young George Washington,” etc.). In other words, we hoped to create a book that, if you mussed up the cover a bit and bent back some pages, you could sell it on eBay as an authentic 50’s era children’s biography.
Surely you can make use of his oil sniffing abilities for the good of us all. Maybe he can be towed behind Condi’s oil tanker in the ocean so he can sniff out the next big field for us all. Or at least for Exxon/Mobil right?
I may actually try that.
Oh, you bad boys!! Good work!
Book 2: Young Dick Cheney Goes To ANWR.
[old biddy and happily married]
[car bumper too short, but hips wide enuf to display,]
“A Mindless Fool is a Terrible Thing to Loose on a Vulnerable World”
Yes. it needs work. Fix it and it’s yours, aloha.
thanks, kathryn
You took the joke right out of my mouth. Stop that, Eli.
Is there a pop-up edition? I want one.
I have a feeling I’ll like this book a whole lot more than those 50’s era books I had to read.
oh please no. then i would cry.
[That’s okay, dave. we’ll just steal the joke and use it ourselves in our next piece for npr]
shhhh. we can hear you in the back left corner.
Pre-emptive jokes are a perfectly sound humor strategy.
A pop up book! Man, what a great idea. Oil derricks. Shortguns. Teenage lust — ok, well maybe not that last one….
I wouldn’t touch that comment with a ten-foot…oh, forget it.
Oh yeah, the shotgun could have one of those slidey things so you could make the shot go in & out.
Actually, I guess you could use the same mechanism for all three…
how about a liquor cabinet version?
What’s a liquor cabinet version? Is that the version that comes with twizzle stix?
My thirst is piqued, too.
Eww.
Never mind. I can picture zooming zits and sproinging…never mind.
Maybe it’s a smaller, raunchier version of the Coffee Table Book.
pop-up piles of cash - the slidey thing could make it grow.
BTW, it’s swizzle sticks, you moron. Oh, did you all hear that?
So much could be explained by Dick peeking…
sorry. now everyone knows that you were the one who proofed our manuscript.
i dunno. that’s yer job. i was riffing offa Kramer’s coffee-table book that folded out to make a lil’ table.
Y’know. The oil derrick could be a dispenser or sumpin’.
going too far a-field, huh?
well, so did/does shooter/driller.
his greed knoweth no bounds.
I’m liking these ideas. A popup book sure as hell would’ve been easier to write.
Or you could do a comic book - the dark blue suit could be like the evil Venom suit in Spiderman 3.
nah nah nah. We want substance and content in our library.
anyone wanna hear something outrageous?
You’ve never been here before, have you.
How would you set up Lynne’s flaming baton?
As we continue to get reviews for Young Dick Cheney, we’re also experiencing some, er, resistance from certain pockets in the media. One (HUGE) newspaper said it wouldn’t run a review of the book “unless it could be paired with a review that makes fun of a Democrat.”
707!
gasholeen works for me.
Oh, fer-
Okay, here’s your solution:
“Young Joe Lieberman”.
If they don’t buy that, there’s always “Young Harold Ford”.
That’s easy. Joe Lieberman or Harry Reid or Zell Miller or…
Think they’d settle for Lieberman?
Don’t get us started on Joe Lieberman.
Hey Cool!
Liarman!
Young Rahm Emmanuel? Young Chuck Schumer?
Oh, but that’s exactly what I’m trying to do…
Heh, obviously a newbie…! ;-)
Yes. We DESPISE Joe Lieberman.
I’m sorry, all u great minds, but Liarman is in a class by hisownself.
Puleeze ?
I once sent a blistering email to Joe Lieberman’s website, and two days later got a message back from them asking me how much I’d like to contribute to keep the “MoJoe” going.
Well I hope you filled in the little blank. ;->
(I got a similar email when I logged onto NaughtyNurses.com to renew my subscription.)
send him a Puerto Rican stamp.
I’m just thankful Joe’s around to remind John McCain who the “President of Germany” is.
_ $10 _ $25 _ $50 X Dead Fish
The Naughty Nurses asked you to contribute to Joe? I’m shocked, SHOCKED I tell you… (*G*)
You love a woman in a uniform, eh…? ;-)
And the difference between Sunnis and Shi’ites.
You know McCain’s dangerous when Joementum is the in-touch-with-reality one.
Um, the X was supposed to be underlined. Stoopit comment icons.
and how ’bout john-boy’s latest — one of the worst decisions in the history of the country? sheesh.
It’s the Nurses shoes, mainly.
There’s a dandy pic of dick’s package online - worthy of consideration if you go for a popup sequel…..
Joe Lieberman: Voice of Reason. You can’t make this stuff up.
Apparently judges are supposed to make decisions based on national security instead of the Constitution now. It’s a new thing.
Ohgod, think of the lawsuits…
Nooo… Not shoe p0rn…! (that is a hot topic here…) ;-)
dick’s package? ok, I think i need to throw up.
Oh, ewww… I remember that. Brain bleach, please…
You guys are cracking me up. Fastest thread of one liners since liveblogging took up band width. *g*
I do hate to leave this group of stellar minds, but dinner prep can’t be done by daddy today, now can it?!
Hey pups. Ya think we could push this thing up in the charts at AmZone?
I’ll do my part, but always go to book store in person & pay cash.
Can’t be too careful these days.
I hear tell the scotus ran amok just this past week.
almost gives us hope for humanity, but we gotta hurry.
Thanks you wizards. Looks like a beeeoooootiful read and a sight for sore eyes. Shall enjoy ;->
Pass it this way when you’re done with it.
You had to bring this up, didn’t you?
So you’re the one who crashed his website?
Like there’ll be any left.
Many thanks, Adie. Happy Father’s Day to Dad.
thanks, adie– we ADORE you.
Thanks. You guys are great!
That’s obviously his battery pack for his industrial grade Pace-maker…! ;-)
This one time, when I was catching a softball game, the ball managed to bounce up *into* my shorts.
I don’t know what just made me think of that.
my my. um, let’s see. whut wuz it i wuz gonna dew nest?
My 111 was for ya, Marion! *g*
So .. I’m lovin’ Adie’s suggestion of cranking up our #s on AmZone. Who here is going to be the first person to order 80 copies of the book?
oh yeah… check out that link…. eh. not so much.
Another mental image I could do without.
80! Do I hear 90? Yes, you in the back with the green shirt. Do I hear 100?
If the book is half as funny as you guys, well……
I know lots of people who could use a few laughs as we recover from the primaries and head into the general (while worrying what the D*ckster is up to).
Thanks for coming to FDL!
y’know, some people choose the darndest places to lose their cell phones…
Waaay more than half. Go get some.
-uh- i think that green’s bleed-thru from the background behind the poor fella.
OK, folks, we’re coming up on the hour mark, and so far we’ve got nurses shoes, Dick’s package, and Eli’s softball “wardrobe malfunction.”
thanks, diablesseblu. (so interesting — you call us funny. our wives call us idiotic.)
My adult child collects children’s books. This will make a great addition to her collection. *g*
However, this will be one she shares with her law school classmates!
See Dick Gun, er, Run.
On a good day.
Well, you could always elaborate on Lynne and her girlfriends.
Or Dick and his boy friends.